New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Saul Bollox]

"My girlfriend said ""Let us play conkers!"" I thought she had gone stupid/bonkers. She said: ""This one here, Is one I revere, It used to be one of John Moncur's"" In the harem, the new eunoch viewed, Lovely young Arab girls in the nude"

[Saul Bollox]

"My girlfriend said ""Let us play conkers!"" I thought she had gone stupid/bonkers. She said: ""This one here, Is one I revere, It used to be one of John Moncur's"" In the harem, the new eunoch viewed, Lovely young Arab girls in the nude"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young Scottish man called Eddie Nothing under his kilt, always ready But a strong wing one day Caused his tackle to sway Which left him completely unsteady. My girlfriend said ""Let us play conkers!"" I thought she had gone stupid/bonkers"

[Saul Bollox]

"When taking a knob up the arse, To do it with any real class. You use KY jelly It's not quite as smelly, But it's better to go with a brass. A young Scottish man called Eddie Nothing under his kilt, always ready"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Norwich man slept in his vest And was ready always for incest. Mum, daught., sis., or aunt His cock he would plant Inside them; we all know the rest. When taking a knob up the arse, To do it with any real class..."

[Saul Bollox]

"He went home to tell his mum, He'd had a West Ham tattoo on his bum The inkwork was deft Around his natal cleft And a target for his gay chum. A Norwich man slept in his vest And was ready always for incest."

[Helmut Shown]

"I'll download more porn, off the net There's some that I haven't got yet A bloke takes off his vest While she shits on his chest That Keys bloke likes it sloppy and wet He went home to tell his mum, He'd had a West Ham tattoo on his bum"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young lady enjoyed lapdancing Performed in a Barking Burger King Delivered with relish And moves that would perish The Bishop of Watford & Tring I'll download more porn, off the net There's some that I haven't got yet"

[Far East Hammer]

"A scotsman called Jamie McFadden, Once let off a fart a real bad'un His colleagues reacted He's quickly ejected From Harrod's Food Hall, ne'er to return A young lady enjoyed lapdancing Performed in a Barking Burger King"

[Saul Bollox]

"I've got a new toy - in a box It whirs and it ticks and it tocks It's self lubricating A switch for vibrating They're great these mechanical cocks. A scotsman called Jamie McFadden, Once let off a fart a real bad'un"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It's said that the jewish in Crete Make love through a hole in a sheet It's said, I am certain They'll use a net curtain If they're feeling quite indiscreet I've got a new toy - in a box It whirs and it ticks and it tocks"

[les marteaux]

"I'm off to the pub for a drink I need some down-time, just to think It's my partner you see, Keeps picking at me. She thinks that her shit doesn't stink. It's said that the jewish in Crete Make love through a hole in a sheet"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lady called Mabel Who liked making love on the table She'd film all the motion And then had the notion To put it on-line and on cable. I'm off to the pub for a drink I need some down-time, just to think"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a Welshman called Rhys Was stooped in the street by the police This perverted creep Not only fucks sheep, But then waltzes off with the fleece.. There was a young lady called Mabel Who liked making love on the table"

[Helmut Shown]

"A hypnotist from Ile-de-France, Put a sexy virgin in a trance He started to plunder As the young maid went under And poked her with his lamb lance There was a Welshman called Rhys Was stooped in the street by the police"

[Saul Bollox]

"A girl with a very large arse Couldn't do anal alas. A punter called Smith Said she can't do it with Nobby Stiles up her Khyber Pass. A hypnotist from Ile-de-France, Put a sexy virgin in a trance"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm down, penniless and I'm broke It's years since I snorted some coke At the end of my street A girl's hawking her meat And i cant afford a poke A girl with a very large arse Couldn't do anal alas"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm down, penniless and I'm broke It's years since I snorted some coke At the end of my street A girl's hawking her meat And i cant afford a poke A girl with a very large arse Couldn't do anal alas"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young ladyboy from Bangkok Often dreamed of losing his cock So he'd rent out his bum For a suitable sum Then off he did trot to the doc. I'm down, penniless and I'm broke It's years since I snorted some coke"

[Saul Bollox]

I want to proclaim my own gender But people will think I'm a bender People should respect My genital defect My cock and minge in all their splendour.. A young ladyboy from Bangkok Often dreamed of losing his cock

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In the Middle East so I hear, They do things that sound very queer When choosing a mammal, It's goat or a camel But nothing as bent as a deer I want to proclaim my own gender But people will think I'm a bender"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl from Hong Kong For a really large cock used to long, When into her bordello, Walked a world famous fellow. The well endowed pornstar called King Dong. In the Middle East so I hear, They do things that sound very queer"

[Saul Bollox]

"There was a young girl from Hong Kong For a really large cock used to long, When into her bordello, Walked a world famous fellow. The well endowed pornstar called King Dong. In the Middle East so I hear, They do things that sound very queer"

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke that I know called Carruthers Enjoys anal sex with his brothers I think it quite rum To fuck a man's bum He should try doing his mother's There was a young girl from Hong Kong For a really large cock used to long

[joe blob]

"My boss has a handshake so limp I think he's a bit of a gimp I thought he was gay But he isn't they say, And he works part time as a pimp. A bloke that I know called Carruthers Enjoys anal sex with his brothers"