New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady called Trish, Was scratching her choc'late starfish She gave her fingers a sniff 'Twas a real pungent whiff And said ""Ahm awa' for a pish!"" Deadline day and nothing yet We'll sign nobody I'll bet"

[joe blob]

"As he pondered on West Ham's defence His ideas just didn't make sense. Now he's getting flack But avoided the sack, I think poor old Slav's a bit dense. There was a young lady called Trish, Was scratching her choc'late starfish"

[Helmut Shown]

This young go-go dancer was quite a sight Her left tit was much larger than the right Her body out of line And curvature of the spine Took a few inches from her height As he pondered on West Ham's defence His ideas just didn't make sense

[Far East Hammer]

A young man who came from Dundee Had a cock hanging down to his knee Caused issues with his kilt Whenever he did tilt Revealed the helmet for all to see This young go-go dancer was quite a sight Her left tit was much larger than the right

[Helmut Shown]

"She walked down the naturist beach, Her buttocks looking like a peach. She bent down too far Showing her chocolate star Said her boyfriend ""I've found my niche"" A young man who came from Dundee Had a cock hanging down to his knee"

[joe blob]

"She liked a finger in her bum It was the only way she could cum, But when it came down, The finger was brown, And emitted a disgusting hum. She walked down the naturist beach, Her buttocks looking like a peach."

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a bloke called Micky Who played every night with his dickie Lack of lubrication Caused a burning sensation Next day had to pull a Sickie She liked a finger in her bum It was thee only way she could cum

[joe blob]

"Her boyfriend had had enough But she wouldn't shave her muff, He just had to go As he was a paedo, Whose hobby was nude blind man's buff. There once was a bloke called Micky Who played every night with his dickie."

[Far East Hammer]

A young man who came from Cardiff Looked down and his willy was stiff Believed he was born Only to surf porn Leaving his parents in a miff Her boyfriend had had enough But she wouldn't shave her muff

[Far East Hammer]

A young man who came from Cardiff Looked down and his willy was stiff Believed he was born Only to surf porn Leaving his parents in a miff Her boyfriend had had enough But she wouldn't shave her muff

[Helmut Shown]

A pubescent girl called Sarah Lost her cherry in Albufeira Because of this puncture At this early juncture Made virgins in Essex rarer A young man who came from Cardiff Looked down and his willy was stiff

[joe blob]

We've reached the bottom of the pit A team? no a shower of shit! Seen it all before We can't even draw So I've binned my season tick-IT A pubescent girl called Sarah Lost her cherry in Albufeira

[Helmut Shown]

"It's true that we've no fucking reason For optimism in the new season They're taking the pee Playing Cresswell at three And Noble as captain, that's treason We've reached the bottom of the pit A team? no a shower of shit!"

[joe blob]

"A sultry young temptress named Jane Who wasn't entirely quite sane. Did a rather odd thing, In exposing her ring, As she washed her drawers in a drain. It's true that we've no fucking reason For optimism in the new season."

[Far East Hammer]

This team's gonna win fuck all The writing has been on the wall Nothing since Nineteen Eighty Trophy cabinet's empty But at least we ain't Millwall A sultry young temptress named Jane Who wasn't entirely quite sane

[joe blob]

"She went out in a miniskirt And nowt more than a quite small shirt Which exposed her belly She called herself Nelly, But was a transvestite called Bert. This team's gonna win fuck all The writing has been on the wall"

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young woman in Rhyl Who'd forgotten to swallow her pill Whilst shagging the verger You know what he gave 'er Kid's named after the vicar Bill She went out in a miniskirt And nowt more than a quite small shirt

[svengordonbenettsson]

"A farmer, assessing his crop Decided it was time to stop For close by in the grass was a fit looking lass With her tits poking out of her top There was a young woman in Rhyl Who'd forgotten to swallow her pill"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a fakir from Darjeeling On his bed of nails stared at the ceiling It now must be said That the view from his bed, Was not, in the main, that appealing. A farmer, assessing his crop Decided it was time to stop"

[joe blob]

He was thrown off of Masterchef For dropping an occasional eff The swearing apart He did a strange fart. A high note in the treble clef. There was a fakir from Darjeeling On his bed of nails stared at the ceiling

[Helmut Shown]

"An Arab, a honky, a jew. Debated on what they should do To White Hart Lane, watch the yids? Or to Abdul's place grooming some kids? The honky said let's have a brew He was thrown off of Masterchef For dropping an occasional eff"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Like Lazarus the Limerick Thread, Has risen again from the dead. This thread aims to please us Unlike that cսnt Jesus About whom no more need be said. An Arab, a honky, a jew. Debated on what they should do"

[joe blob]

"When told that she might have to wait, The chavette kicked up a right state, Looks like she has scabies With lots of brown babies, From different dads on her estate. Like Lazarus the Limerick Thread, Has risen again from the dead."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Forgive me for seeming so dense When Ginge plays we've a better defence. You'll now get a pounding, He's not foreign sounding So claiming he's good makes no sense. When told that she might have to wait, The chavette kicked up a right state"

[Helmut Shown]

"I just went through a fucking typhoon Having said which I'm really no loon With high winds and rain I've got a brown stain In my gusset, I'll get changed soon Forgive me for seeming so dense When Ginge plays we've a better defence"