New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Bangladeshi girl in a burkha Shouted abuse at a Gurka But under a tree , Attacked with his kukri, He couldn't have been more berserker. There once was a young Zulu dancer. Was seduced by an old Bengal lancer."

[Helmut Shown]

"I'd just pulled a right stunner Then let rip a loud stinker At first made her laugh But the smell made her barf Then she got up, did a runner A Bangladeshi girl in a burkha Shouted abuse at a Gurkha"

[Far East Hammer]

I felt like I needed a poo I farted and then followed through I wish I hadn't been seen Standing in front of the Queen It seems it wasn't the thing to do I'd just pulled a right stunner Then let rip a loud stinker

[Helmut Shown]

"Spurs fans have the effrontery, Of indulging in online cuntery These big mouthed turds Have problems with words The dribble from their gobs is involuntary* * I struggled rhyming that one! I felt like I needed a poo I farted and then followed through"

[arsene york-hunt]

Helmut Retromingent - brilliant never head that word before

[arsene york-hunt]

"Arrested for being profane About the IQ of Harry Kane, I think his genome Has one less chromasome A suspicion not hard to explain. spurs fans have the efrontery, Of indulging in online cuntery"

[Helmut Shown]

There was a girl from Conakry Squatted behind a bush for a wee Her aim not to stringent As she pissed retromingent As she sprayed on her socks and her knee Arrested for being profane About the IQ of Harry Kane

[arsene york-hunt]

"She said ""I'm a lady not a scrubber"" As he sat there rolling on a new rubber, He said with a grunt ""Shut up you old cunt- Your guts look just like a whale's blubber."" There was a girl from Conakry Squatted behind a bush for a wee"

[Helmut Shown]

"When the game kick off at 12:30, Those shitcunts played crudely and dirty Two breakaway goals By those fucking arseholes Made their circumcised knobs go all squirty She said ""I'm a lady not a scrubber"" As he sat there rolling on a new rubber"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There once was a pervert called Wally Got caught making love to a collie, His mum walked in When she heard the din. Remonstrating at his shamefull folly. When the game kick off at 12:30, Those shitcunts played crudely and dirty"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's our cup final again they say, Let us hope we once more make them pay They'll cheat and they'll dive On penalties they thrive And when Harry Kane speaks there's spray There once was a pervert called Wally Got caught making love to a collie"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He parked his cab near the ground At the end he couldn't be found, In fact he was quite near, Crying into his beer, As they lost again this time around. It's our cup final again they say, Let us hope we once more make them pay."

[Helmut Shown]

"The day spurs aspirations died At West Ham some of them cried. Their fans made of vinyl Call it ""Wet Spam's cup final"" The bridesmaid again not the bride He parked his cab near the ground At the end he couldn't be found Arsene - good user name!"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've seen Kane and Dier on TV They both sound retarded to me, But despite their IQs, They play for four be twos Let us murder the cunts and score three. The day spurs aspirations died At West Ham some of them cried."

[Helmut Shown]

"This week we are playing the scum, I think we will win, unlike some A 3-0 win For those with foreskin Will leave the ikeys feeling numb I've seen Kane and Dier on TV They both sound retarded to me"

[Saul Bollox]

"Another fire at white hart lane Is Levy up to his tricks again? This dispicable jew A criminal it's true, But not this time though, that's quite plain. This week we are playing the scum, I think we will win, unlike some"

[Helmut Shown]

A young man from round Surrey docks Picked up a bad dose of the pox. In a dance hall Was a girl from Millwall Who had a bad smell from her box Another fire at white hart lane Is Levy up to his tricks again?

[joe blob]

"On Saturday when I get on the train I'll find that they're fucked up again I loudly protested, Then got arrested For shouting abuse quite profane. A young man from round Surrey docks Picked up a bad dose of the pox."

[Helmut Shown]

"Our summer is now on the wane So, I think I might hop on a plane. In the Hotel Barcelo They run a bordello I get flogged by a whore with a cane On Saturday when I get on the train I'll find that they're fucked up again"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It is said that the ladies of Kent Like their man to act like a gent But they are only friends That side of the Thames 'cos every last one of them's BENT. Our summer is now on the wane So, I think I might hop on a plane."

[Helmut Shown]

"Harry Redknapp chose to elope With a full, large brown envelope They still take a punt On this dodgy cսnt In truth, they have nothing but hope It is said that the ladies of Kent Like their man to act like a gent"

[Helmut Shown]

"Harry Redknapp chose to elope With a full, large brown envelope They still take a punt On this dodgy cսnt In truth, they have nothing but hope It is said that the ladies of Kent Like their man to act like a gent"

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young man from Fife Caught shagging his best mates wife His mate said ""no worries"" ""But check yourself for fleas"" ""I've been shagging yours for half my life"" Harry Redknapp chose to elope With a full, large brown envelope"

[joe blob]

Back in the cool 80s and 90s I did it with umpteen proper munters One of them called Pat Had a foul smelling prat And her guts looked like Billy Bunter's There was a young man from Fife Caught shagging his best mates wife

[The Undertaker]

"Next up we are playing the trotters, Will We beat these foul, northern rotters? Not if we play like The usual sad shite We serve up against Stoke's Midland Potters Back in the cool 80s and 90s I did it with umpteen proper munters"