New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[cup of tea]

"There once was a bloke called Danny, Who once appeared in Orphan Annie On the stage played his part Whilst ripping a loud fart Whilst inspecting ol' Annies fanny People who 'play' Santa are nonces In addition to this also ponces"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I wish Xmas would just go away In bed, all day I may lay I hate this time of year, With the pretentious cheer, So I'll just sit and browse on ebay. There once was a bloke called Danny, Who once appeared in Orphan Annie"

[cup of tea]

"Last Sunday between 3 and 4. A christian nut knocked on my door.. He was holding a bible So I sued him for libel Whilst calling his fat wife a whore I wish Xmas would just go away In bed, all day I may lay"

[The Stoat]

What's this got to do with WEST HAM?

[arsene york-hunt]

"We need now a seasonal rhyme With fairies and bells that do chime. Baubles, Christmas trees, And such things as these With turkey and parsley and thyme. Last Sunday between 3 and 4. A christian nut knocked on my door.."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Howard from the Halifax ads. Went out for a drink with the lads For the sake of his art, Got pissed as a fart And showed the bar staff his gonads We need now a seasonal rhyme With fairies and bells that do chime"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from Bolton le Moors Would party with scabby old whores, He shot all his cum In minge, mouth and bum, Then returned to his wife back indoors. Howard from the Halifax ads. Went out for a drink with the lads"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Lady from Berwick-on-Tweed* Was known to stand up when she peed Listen to your granny You can't aim a fanny It'll run down your leg, guaranteed! A young man from Bolton le Moors Would party with scabby old whores"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A middle aged lady from Wick Had never once seen a man's dick Then Hamish McHopper Did whip out his chopper The sight of which made her quite sick. A Lady from Berwick-on-Tweed* Was known to stand up when she peed * I KNOW, alright!!!???"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Barolo, Who would give to you his last Rolo But his charity would end If, heaven forfend! You asked him to give you a polo A middle aged lady from Wick Had never once seen a man's dick"

[arsene york-hunt]

"When caught in the royal enclosure He was done for indecent exposure To the House of Lords came, And confessed his shame, And now he's looking for closure. There was a young man from Barolo, Who would give to you his last Rolo"

[Helmut Shown]

"On two thirty to Charing Cross, A man was caught having a toss For pulling his pud He's away now for good With Rolf Harris and other such dross When caught in the royal enclosure He was done for indecent exposure"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A docker from West Felixstowe Was walking incredibly slow, This man named Boris, Was seeking a Doris Whose prices were reasonably low. On two thirty to Charing Cross, A man was caught having a toss."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A high end call girl from Aruba Between clients played on her Tuba As much as she could, She'd play on the wood, As that was the best way to ""lube"" her. A docker from West Felixstowe Was walking incredibly slow"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was an old priest from Gibraltar Had ""builders bum"" at the altar. A nun cried out ""Shame Your role you defame"" A big mouth but you couldn't fault'er. A high end call girl from Aruba Between clients played on her Tuba"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Chile, Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy They thought it quite bold Doing this when so cold But in the middle of Piccadilly? There was an old priest from Gibraltar Had ""builders bum"" at the altar"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She said ""If you take off my drawers"" ""I'll get right down here, on all fours"" Shagged her til I cum In her minge and her bum. I really miss Diana Dors. There was a young girl from Chile, Fiddling with her boyfriend's willy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A prostitute from Timbuctou, Once serviced a bloke from The Who He paid her by card But couldn't get hard And her being under-age, too. She said ""If you take off my drawers"" ""I'll get right down here, on all fours"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from his girl felt deception So in bed could not get an erection, His no show stiffy At the time it was iffy, But saved him from a sexual infection. A prostitute from Timbuctou, Once serviced a bloke from The Who"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from his girl felt deception So in bed could not get an erection, His no show stiffy At the time it was iffy, But saved him from a sexual infection. A prostitute from Timbuctou, Once serviced a bloke from The Who"

[HairyHammer]

"A prostitute from Kazakhstan, Who worked from the back of her van. She never gave head A cheese phobia her dread But at licking arse, she was a big fan. A young man from his girl felt deception So in bed could not get an erection"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So winter has got here at last, With stars dying off, thick and fast. Can't believe my eyes, Reading of the demise. Of those that were big in the past. A prostitute from Kazakhstan, Who worked from the back of her van."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man with a leak up his crack In his hand had a carrot for a snack He had a meat pie Wedged in his Jap's Eye And cheese sauce all over his sac So winter has got here at last, With stars dying off, thick and fast."

[HairyHammer]

If ever I return to Chennai I'm afraid that I surely will die I could get the spicy shits Be Chopped into tiny bits Or be knocked off for being a spy. A man with a leak up his crack In his hand had a carrot for a snack

[Dowies Love Child]

"In a brothel in Alice Spings, They used KY to lube the girl's rings but a quick dab of butter or slime from the gutter was more than enough for the minge If ever I return to Chennai I'm afraid that I surely will die"