New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Fakir had three beers in Aswan Gave him powers through burqa's to scan, But the first in 'her' splendour Was a bloke who's transgender, And the next one was like a caveman. There was a young man from Mauritius. Was eating a golden delicious."

[HairyHammer]

I've broken my first resolution And created some rancid pollution With My addiction to beans And Sprouts peas and Greens So my arse as before needs ablution. A Fakir had three beers in Aswan Gave him powers through burqa's to scan

[Mike Oxsaw]

A man eating some hummus for tea Shouted shit in my food there's a bee The ending is tragic: For some Paul Daniels' magic Turned it into steaming goat's pee. I've broken my first resolution And created some rancid pollution

[HairyHammer]

"So we're gonna have a replay, Does anyone know on which day? I'm chomping at the bit To see non defensive shit Fingers crossed its the West ham way. A man eating some hummus for tea Shouted shit in my food there's a bee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The boss plays the youngsters, we moan. The boss plays the first team, we groan A draw v the jews, Clean sheet v the Shrews, This whingeing i just don't condone. So we're gonna have a replay, Does anyone know on which day?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"So Hughes has got the tin tack Let's hope Stoke don't make a comeback Their board want a Brit To clean up his shit Old Harry ain't working - he's kack. The boss plays the youngsters, we moan. The boss plays the first team, we groan"

[Helmut Shown]

"He farted while shitting again, And spattered all the porcelaine. But something quite queer The water was clear A total eclipse down the drain So Hughes has got the tin tack Let's hope Stoke don't make a comeback"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A seven foot man from Brazil Liked to dress as a woman to thrill He asked a young slag, To have a good shag, But she said she's not taken her pill. He farted while shitting again, And spattered all the porcelaine."

[HairyHammer]

Our FA Cup weekend starts here The outcome is imminently clear We'll play our best team And score 6 like a dream Or lose and get pissed on some beer. A seven foot man from Brazil Liked to dress as a woman to thrill

[Son of Sam]

"There was a young man from Fife, Who passed the clap on to his wife She went totally potty Has a rash on her botty He'll be nagged for the rest of his life Our FA Cup weekend starts here The outcome is imminently clear"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm hoping ""Barcodes"" was a blip, And our run of good form doesn't dip. We are, so it seems, Not good against shit teams, But soon against one, we'll let rip. There was a young man from Fife, Who passed the clap on to his wife"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The shot from our Pedro Obiang, Hit the back of the net with a bang Went up a great shout: ""Now, pick THAT one out!"" ""Just one shot we need!"" our fans sang. I'm hoping ""Barcodes"" was a blip, And our run of good form doesn't dip."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Another one bites the dust Said a spurs fan in disgust And this fucking clown When the yids were one down Said ""I'm leaving now, I really must. The shot from our Pedro Obiang, Hit the back of the net with a bang"

[HairyHammer]

As usual when playing 4B2s We've got no players to choose So to drive the spuds mad Moyes will spray his team bad With a fragrance called bagel de Jews. Another one bites the dust Said a spurs fan in disgust

[HairyHammer]

As usual when playing 4B2s We've got no players to choose So to drive the spuds mad Moyes will spray his team bad With a fragrance called bagel de Jews. Another one bites the dust Said a spurs fan in disgust

[Helmut Shown]

"On the forum I thought I'd misread The site bore had come on this thread, I wish he'd refrain Using all threads to complain The stadium issue is dead As usual when playing 4B2s We've got no players to choose"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A small woman from Lima Peru Bent down and had a big poo, Was seen by a farmer Walking past with a llama, As the turd dropped all over her shoe. On the forum I thought I'd misread The site bore had come on this thread,"

[HairyHammer]

"A donkey with a very small dick Had a tongue that was long thick and slick He saw Johnson off WHO And stuck it up his kazoo Shouted Johnson ""More deeper, and quick"". A small woman from Lima Peru Bent down and had a big poo"

[Johnson]

A donkey with a very small dick Had a tongue that was long thick and slick Turn it in Zoltan

[HairyHammer]

"Thuggish conduct by Jake Livermore, Used his son as an excuse once more. His son in heaven above Still looks down at Jake with love Whether his behaviour is great good or poor. A donkey with a very small dick Had a tongue that was long thick and slick"

[arsene york-hunt]

Oi!

[HairyHammer]

He may have provided a cross But Cresswell is a fucking dead loss Sometimes he's so shit In his face I could spit Though id rather he played like a boss. A small woman from Lima in Peru Pulled her draws down and had a big poo

[arsene york-hunt]

"He may have provided a cross But Cresswell is a fucking dead loss. And between me and you Fuka Arthur stunk too, Both played like they don't give a toss. Thuggish conduct by Jake Livermore, Used his son as an excuse once more."

[Helmut Shown]

"A hypochondriac from Pratt's Bottom, You name the ailments and he'd got 'em An infected willy Because he was silly If he saw brown or pink he'd pot 'em He may have provided a cross But Cresswell is a fucking dead loss"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He thought the brown spot was a mole That appeared right near his bumhole, With his wife he conferred 'Twas bit of hard turd, Which she scraped off and dropped in the bowl. A hypochondriac from Pratt's Bottom, You name the ailments and he'd got 'em"