New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"An eye for an eye screamed a tramp When on his mates groin he did stamp ""You've pissed my sleeping bag You dirty fucking slag Now its permanently damp"" As he prepared to go down on his girl Both a cock and a cսnt did unfurl"

[Kaiser Zoso]

Here was a fake Turk called Nick Who got on everyone’s wick His bird was a model He thought it’s a doddle But he just makes everyone sick

[HairyHammer]

At an inopportune time I farted And couldn't stop once I had started An embarrassing bane I was on a packed train Next stop rudely off I was carted. An eye for an eye screamed a tramp When on his mates groin he did stamp

[Far East Hammer]

A man trav'lling the DLR Dropped a huge turd in the front car An ungodly sight Quite late at night And with a stench carrying far At an inopportune time I farted And couldn't stop once I had started

[arsene york-hunt]

"A doctor who lied for the Trump Said he's fitter than Forrest Gump, He did it in hope, Of a brown envelope, The sum to be all in one lump. A man trav'lling the DLR Dropped a huge turd in the front car"

[HairyHammer]

I used to turn left on the plane. I don't think I'll do it again. The pilots go mental As they want to fly central So now I will hijack a train. A doctor who lied for the Trump Said he's even fitter than Forrest Gump

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A lady from the Shetland isles Tried a new cure for her piles A serious go, On a massive dildo; The squelching could be heard for miles. I used to turn left on the plane. I don't think I'll do it again."

[Helmut Shown]

"Walking in from Hackney Wick, I saw something that made me sick. In a public place She pissed on his face And he cleaned her off with a lick A lady from the Shetland isles Tried a new cure for her piles"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now. Can we advance in the cup? Or will the club sell us a pup? Based on tonight's show You'd have to say no, They only care about staying up. Walking in from Hackney Wick, I saw something that made me sick."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I can not make any sense of it, When playing shit teams we play shit As long as we play The old West Ham way The fans really don't mind a bit Now. Can we advance in the cup? Or will the club sell us a pup?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I can not make any sense of it, When playing shit teams we play shit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A milf eyed a donkey's big shlong Her mind in place oh so wrong, Playing Animal Farm Now caused her alarm, She had fear while removing her thong. I can not make any sense of it, When playing shit teams and we play shit"

[HairyHammer]

Her mind in a place oh so wrong

[HairyHammer]

A working girl from San Diago Suffered quite a bit from Lumbago So she;d just wank and suck As No way she could fuck And for extras made dildo's from playdough. A milf eyed a donkey's big shlong Her mind in place oh so wrong

[arsene york-hunt]

"This transfer they won't be too tight The best of the best in their sight. If you think that my friend, You're a total bell end, In bullshit, I think, you delight. A working girl from San Diago Suffered quite a bit from Lumbago"

[HairyHammer]

"A prostitute in Pattaya, Was picked up by a bricklayer. She had big hairy thighs And a touch strong and wise But her Cock meant no go for this player. This transfer they won't be too tight The best of the best in their sight."

[arsene york-hunt]

"You know when Trump's talking shit His lips are moving a bit A very strange man, Daft hair and fake tan, He looks quite a bit of a tit. A prostitute in Pattaya, Was picked up by a bricklayer."

[Helmut Shown]

Our owner loves the sound of his voice. From he's posh mansion close to Theydon Bois But his teenage son Jack Tweets a load of old cack He should be told to go back to his toys You know when Trump's talking shit His lips are moving a bit

[Helmut Shown]

Our owner loves the sound of his voice. From he's posh mansion close to Theydon Bois But his teenage son Jack Tweets a load of old cack He should be told to go back to his toys You know when Trump's talking shit His lips are moving a bit

[jfk]

Our owners a dwarf and a half jew. Produced rude things for me and for you. Made their sons oh so rich whilst paying a bitch. A good run of wins overdue. Out owner loves the sound of his voice. From he's posh mansion close to Theydon Bois

[arsene york-hunt]

"One owner is an old duffer, The other a lying old bluffer, They've both made their choices And come in Rolls Royces We walk from Stratford, it's tougher. Our owners a dwarf and a half jew. Produced rude things for me and for you"

[Hermit Road]

"Our owners resemble the devil, With all of their talk of ""Next Level"". No wonder we’re glum, We’re taken for dumb, While in profits from us they do revel. One owner is an old duffer, The other a lying old bluffer,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The window is open hooray But who are we buying today? No purchase or loan? Let's all have a moan And then we can go on our way. Our owners resemble the devil, With all of their talk of ""Next Level""."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man from Mauritius. Was eating a golden delicious But the apple I fear Caused a bout of diarrhoea It could hardly be called nutritious The window is open hooray But who are we buying today?

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Fakir had three beers in Aswan Gave him powers through burqa's to scan, But the first in 'her' splendour Was a bloke who's transgender, And the next one was like a caveman. There was a young man from Mauritius. Was eating a golden delicious."