New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"An American lad from Arizona Would often walk around with a boner But his priapic state , Made him feel not so great, When blood vessels burst in his corona. A camping shop owner in Chippenham Had tents on display, you could kip in 'em"

[Helmut Shown]

A man from whynot Mississippi Who's tummy felt awfully gippy He'd eaten kangaroo Spent all night in the loo It'll teach him for eating blue Skippy An American lad from Arizona Would often walk around with a boner

[HairyHammer]

A china-man from old Nangking Was caught by his missus wanking So she got a big bucket And told him to fuck it And sold it as mayo with zing. A man from whynot Mississippi Who's tummy felt awfully gippy

[arsene york-hunt]

"A man from Ashton under Lyne Did all his dating online, The dates were no't bliss He had halitosis And trousers stinking of urine. A china-man from old Nangking Was caught by his missus wanking"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in old Casablanca, A sailor who'd come off a tanker He'd been here before And he sought out the whore Responsible for his penile chancre A man from Ashton under Lyne Did all his dating online"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in old Casablanca, A sailor who'd come off a tanker He'd been here before And he sought out the whore Responsible for his penile chancre A man from Ashton under Lyne Did all his dating online"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There is an old dwarf from Wales Who adds to West Ham’s travails, But on his days off He loves a good scoff, Of cuisses de grenouilles and snails. In a brothel in old Casablanca, A sailor who'd come off a tanker"

[Lily Hammer]

OK. Still works.

[arsene york-hunt]

"""HID"""

[Lily Hammer]

"One of the strawberry pickers, HAS some of them in her knickers Since her labia parted And her fanny farted She’s pining for fishy fruit lickers. There is an old dwarf from Wales Who adds to West Ham’s travails"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Scouser who was worse from drink Came home and was pissing in the sink But against his wife's wishes Did not take out the dishes So she kicked up a very big stink. One of the strawberry pickers, His some of them in her knickers"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's rare I get pissed up these days, I'm old and now set in my ways But when out on a binge And looking for minge I'm only approached by gays A Scouser who was worse from drink Came home and was pissing in the sink"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young bloke incited a big fuss By farting on a 123 bus. And he made them recoil When he lanced a large boil And covered the people in pus. It's rare I get pissed up these days, I'm old and now set in my ways."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she say there on Jeremy Kyle (???) No teeth to grace her big smile, Her gums were bright pink And her breath don't half stink, That most of the blokes run a mile. A young bloke incited a big fuss By farting on a 123 bus."

[Helmut Shown]

A woman with big droopy tits When naked did cover her bits And her thighs and her knees It's hard when she pees As they're held under her armpits As she say there on Jeremy Kyle No teeth to grace her big smile

[HairyHammer]

On our Board we have three Stooges Or should I make that three Scrooges? The truth is their shit And for our club their not fit So we'll march and cover ego's with bruises. A woman with big droopy tits When naked did cover her bits.

[HairyHammer]

"An Irish, a Scot and a Jew Were wondering what they could do. With a jumble of plans They got out their pans And concocted a cheap tater stew. A player with time on his hands Refused to take pictures with fans"

[Far East Hammer]

"bugger! An Irish, a Scot and a Jew Were wondering what they could do. Whilst supping their beers Gave tottie some leers Eliciting jeers from a few On our Board we have three Stooges Or should I make that three Scrooges?"

[Far East Hammer]

This fucking thread's now quite poor Where are the poets of yore? Either got a life Or nagged by the wife To get what she forgot at the store! On our Board we have three Stooges Or should I make that three Scrooges?

[Mike Oxsaw]

"This fucking thread's now quite poor Where are the poets of yore? Don't be such a starch They're learning to march; They'll all be back soon, I am sure. An Irish, a Scot and a Jew Were wondering what they could do."

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've just seen a Korean band, The birds in the group were quite grand. The melody was borne When each played on their horn The trumpets,however, were bland This fucking thread's now quite poor Where are the poets of yore?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"We've watched it on the TV live, Another fucking four be twos dive They get off scot free. They're ""chosen"", you see, But none of them live in N5. I've just seen a Korean band, The birds in the group were quite grand."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The slapper thinks spurs should come top, And the Foxes Thai boss worth a pop, Her mind set's the pits, But she has massive tits, And I wish her Sun column would stop. We've watched it on the TV live, Another fucking four be twos dive"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A bloke from near Old Ford lock, Walked aimlessly holding a sock. With nothing to wear Except half a pair And a hankie to cover his cock. The slapper thinks spurs should come top, And the Foxes Thai boss worth a pop"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My mate set me up on a date. ""She's gagging, it's yours on a plate!"" I told him it's iffy I cant get a stiffy It's trouble with the old prostate. A bloke from near Old Ford lock, Walked aimlessly holding a sock."