New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"Is there something in the team's genome That means they don't win at home? In the league or cup We always fuck up, We defend like kids with Downs Syndrome. There was a young man from Warsaw, Went to have his first sex with a whore,"

[Helmut Shown]

"The muslim rapists from round Rotherham, Were left as the P'lice didn't bother 'em They overstepped bounds On religious grounds By kidnapping kids to rodger 'em Is there something in the team's genome That means they don't win at home?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whilst sitting on the platform at Rye I dropped my lunch a meat pie It was made by my Mum And meat, it had some But was mostly entrails and an eye. The muslim rapists from round Rotherham, Were left as the P'lice didn't bother 'em"

[cup of tea]

"A young welsh girl gave a deep throat, To a popular singer of note. Yes it was Sir Tom Jones Who quivvered in his old bones When he came he fucked off in his coat Whilst sitting on the platform at Rye I dropped my lunch a meat pie"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I can't wait for him to depart The butterfingered tosser Joe Hart, So it back to City For this liability. The fucker's not worth a wet fart. A young welsh girl gave a deep throat, To a popular singer of note."

[Helmut Shown]

These fucking night games on TV. Are an inconvenience for me And its all to feed Rupert Murdoch's greed On a school night for kids I see. I can't wait for him to depart The butterfingered tosser Joe Hart

[arsene york-hunt]

"I met an old man in a bar Who was boasting about his new car. His story was bland, But held in his hand, He had his pet newt in a jar. These fucking night games on TV. Are an inconvenience for me"

[Helmut Shown]

Mark Hughes to be totally frank As a Manager not worth a wank As intimated Never relegated Leaves early with money in the bank I met an old man in a bar Who was boasting about his new car

[arsene york-hunt]

"While tidying his borders a bit He found he'd knelt in fox shit, He shouted ""Oh fuck! What rotten bad luck, It makes me want to fucking spit."" Mark Hughes to be totally frank As a Manager not worth a wank."

[Helmut Shown]

"Whilst playing a quite kinky game I inadvertently found fame With a face looking sour Having a golden shower An internet star, oh the shame! While tidying his borders a bit He found he'd knelt in fox shit"

[Far East Hammer]

His teams show lack of ambition With Fat Sam its a war of attrition They only want just a draw Achieved through the art of bore That dud's without imagination Whilst playing a quite kinky game I inadvertently found fame

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the Ivory Coast The length of his manhood did boast But his dick was a dud There's not enough blood Just a lazy lob at the most His teams show lack of ambition With Fat Sam its a war of attrition

[Helmut Shown]

A man from the Ivory Coast The length of his manhood did boast But his dick was a dud There's not enough blood Just a lazy lob at the most His teams show lack of ambition With Fat Sam its a war of attrition

[arsene york-hunt]

"A girl called Ruby May Liked it every which way Had oral with three men And choked on their semen, And happy to die in that way. A man from the Ivory Coast The length of his manhood did boast"

[Darlo Debs]

A stupid old bint from Andover Woke up ona train with a hangover she drank 3 bottles of wine and woke up in a 69 With some dirty git in a landrover A girl called Ruby May Liked it every which way

[cup of tea]

A very rude man in france Took a young lady out to dance She loved in in Paris and hard up the 'arris so she would often end up in a trance A stupid old bint from Andover Woke up ona train with a hangover

[Darlo Debs]

There was an old lady from Bangor Who looked a bit like Bernard Langer When she wore a dress She looked a mess She Should have left it on the hanger A very rude man in france Took a young lady out to dance

[cup of tea]

there was a bloke with a pet duck who didnt have very good luck Some bread he would throw and his penis would grow whilst inserting it in for a fuck There was an old lady from Bangor Who looked a bit like Bernard Langer

[Darlo Debs]

"In the old days down on my manor, You could get a blow job for a tanner for a sovreign ring she'd do anything A dirty old bird was my nanna there was a bloke with a pet duck who didnt have very good luck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Bob had an allotment in Bow Where he used a very big hoe, For sorting the weeds, Before planting his seeds And used lots of Miracle Gro. In the old days down on my manor, You could get a blow job for a tanner"

[Darlo Debs]

The rave years to 9-2 to 9-4 Popped 2 E's on the massive dancefloor I woke up on a bed With a pair of pants on my head ...and feeling a little bit sore Bob had an allotment in bow Where he used a very big hoe

[selecta]

There once was a team at West Ham As everyone’s second team they were a fan Then along came two Dick Heads Who spent too much time writing twitter threads And turned us into a joke With every word they spoke

[cup of tea]

"A man with a tart, a Croation Doing auto asphyxiation A right kinky cսnt When out on the hunt For females or even dalmations The rave years to 9-2 to 9-4 Popped 2 E's on the massive dancefloor"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Experience? I don't learn from it Work or West Ham, it's the same old shit. I'd be better with porn Awaiting our new dawn. Same old crap year on year, what a tit. A man with a tart, a Croation Doing auto asphyxiation"

[Far East Hammer]

"I hope that i won't be screwed My season ticket, I've renewed They've conned me again The result? More pain It'd seem I've not been that shrewd Experience? I don't learn from it Work or West Ham, it's the same old shit"