New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"Bournemouth and a crap Arsenal team Hardly the Premier League cream? ""But too good for us,"" He said with a cuss, ""Fucking safety is all we can dream."" An old time cowboy called Hank, Was coarse and uncouth to be frank"

[Helmut Shown]

"Three in, no points on the table, Do we have a team that is able? Plain as the nose on your face The great lack of pace Is expansive football a fable? Bournemouth and a crap Arsenal team Hardly the Premier League cream?"

[Helmut Shown]

"Three in, no points on the table, Do we have a team that is able? Plain as the nose on your face The great lack of pace Is expansive football a fable? Bournemouth and a crap Arsenal team Hardly the Premier League cream?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He told his Dad: ""It doesn't matter"" When he said outright ""I'm a brown hatter."" I garden uphill, But don't need no pill, I give it, donating my batter. Three in, no points on the table, Do we have a team that is able?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've just poured myself a stiff drink And now I shall sit here and thin In the best place for it, You can muse while you shit, Inspiration and making a stink. He told his Dad: ""It doesn't matter"" When he said outright ""I'm a brown hatter."""

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Waking past the Hospital Guy's A man was undoing his flies Surgery al fresco And over in Tesco, You get all your drugs with the pies I've just poured myself a stiff drink And now I shall sit here and think"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young lass from Barnard Castle Found dogging quite a hassle, But she was all the rage, Dancing on a stage, And wearing on each tit a tassel. Waking past the Hospital Guy's A man was undoing his flies"

[Far East Hammer]

"Oh shit, it seems nothing has changed With our team and boss not engaged Let's kneejerk, wet our knickers Ignoring all the snickers Maturity? Seems we haven't aged A young lass from Barnard Castle Found dogging quite a hassle"

[HairyHammer]

"A skinny young lady from Leith Had a lazy fat boyfriend, called Keith He smelled like French cheese And was infested with fleas But his shlong could carry a reef. Oh shit, it seems nothing has changed With our team and boss not engaged"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young girl, a bit of a porker Got shagged by three blokes in Majorca But it then was agreed, Just two did the deed - The third was a voyeuristic stalker. A skinny young lady from Leith Had a lazy fat boyfriend, called Keith"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lad called Jim Stripped naked and went for a swim When he rose from the pool He looked such a fool His penis had shrunk to a quim A young girl, a bit of a porker Got shagged by three blokes in Majorca"

[arsene york-hunt]

"As he ran around the local track His shorts split exposing his crack Then out popped his balls Amid jeers and catcalls, And the Magistrates too gave him flack. There was a young lad called Jim Stripped naked and went for a swim"

[Helmut Shown]

"An Immigrant, down on his luck Decided to hire a big truck He drove into town Knocked pedestrians down Carnage, and he didn't give a fuck As he ran around the local track His shorts split exposing his crack"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man who came from Tblisi Thought that London muff would be easy But, whatever he paid, He couldn't get laid, So he went off to try in Zambezi. An Immigrant, down on his luck Decided to hire a big truck"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young lady from Canning Town Who for a snakebite would go down For a pint of Green King, She'll lick out your ring, And stop, when her tongue has turned brown. A young man who came from Tblisi Thought that London muff would be easy"

[Far East Hammer]

"Pellegrini thought what have I done? This team play stupid and dumb Same old, same old I was mis-sold So in the dugout I'll suck my thumb A young lady from Canning Town Who for a snakebite would go down"

[HairyHammer]

"The season starts, a right pain Mullered at Anfield again Those Scousers so smug As our team played like mugs Barely fit and in need of a brain Pellegrini thought what have I done? This team play stupid and dumb"

[Far East Hammer]

"The poor altar boy started cryin' When he knelt before Father O'Brien This is just my luck I don't like to suck Honest Father, I ain't lyin' The season starts, a right pain Mullered at Anfield again"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The weather has got on my tits Commuters just smell like the pits Just how can you go, To work with B.O? These stinking and useless fat shits. The poor altar boy started cryin' When he knelt before Father O'Brien"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Scotsman called Hamish McDuff Went out at night looking for muff. But, all that did pass Was bollocks and arse, So the sweaty went home in a huff. The weather ha got on my tits Commuters just smell like the pits."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Scot from far John O' Groats Had sex with wild mountain goats, He'd lift up his kilt, And go in to the hilt Holding them tight by their throats. A Scotsman called Hamish McDuff Went out at night looking for muff."

[Helmut Shown]

One day on the train to Dundee I noticed a young lady's knee As she uncrossed her thighs Another surprise Bollocks swinging wild and free A Scot from far John O' Groats Had sex with wild mountain goats

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A scotsman by the name of Robbie, Went behind a bush for a jobbie. The ensuing smell Set off the fire bell. The bush was in Novotel's lobby. One day on the train to Dundee I noticed a young lady's knee"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A scotsman by the name of Robbie, Went behind a bush for a jobbie. The ensuing smell Set off the fire bell. The bush was in Novotel's lobby. One day on the train to Dundee I noticed a young lady's knee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A sp*rs supporter called Wally Thought some of his choices were folly Like the day he did choose, To put on his best shoes, And slipped when he trod in a tolly. A scotsman by the name of Robbie, Went behind a bush for a jobbie."