New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When you piss, you may drain and dreg But the last drops run down your leg To get it all out You must shake it about But watch out for that hat on a peg. I fancy a trip to the beach To somewhere that's easy to reach"

[Helmut Shown]

"At our home ground it would seem, We give gifts to every shit team. And all whom come here Have something to cheer Except us, it's like a bad dream When you piss, you may drain and dreg But the last drops run down your leg"

[arsene york-hunt]

*TITS

[arsene york-hunt]

"Leroy was a rude boy from Chatham Who was not, in the least, ‚Äòup and at ‚Äòem. But when out this young cսnt, Had plenty of front, And on seeing nice tite he would pat 'em. At our home ground it would seem, We give gifts to every shit team."

[doomhunk]

"I slept in - I'm late for my work. The boss always moans; he's a jerk. Narcolepsy is fine When it’s on your own time But the twat won’t allow me that perk. Leroy was a rude boy from Chatham Who was not, in the least, ‘up and at ‘em’."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A sexy young minx from Torbay Toyed with the thought of turning gay. And for just half-a-crown, She'd consider dark brown, But, yellow or ochre? No way! I slept in - I'm late for my work. The boss always moans; he's a jerk"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A sexy young minx from Torbay Toyed with the thought of turning gay. And for just half-a-crown, She'd consider dark brown, But, yellow or ochre? No way! I slept in - I'm late for my work. The boss always moans; he's a jerk"

[doomhunk]

"A young fellow from Pontypool, In the High Street took out his tool. Though his pride was misplaced And he showed lack of taste The tattoo he revealed was quite cool. A sexy young minx from Torbay Toyed with the thought of turning gay."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Assuming the pose legs parted He'd thought he'd break wind but he sharted, The Dame Judy Dench, Made some stomachs wrench So swiftly from there he departed. A young fellow from Pontypool, In the High Street took out his tool"

[Helmut Shown]

A young girl Mae Lee from Hong Kong Saw smelly brown marks on her thong Years of bumming Means ring muscle numbing She'll shit herself before long Assuming the pose legs parted He'd thought he'd break wind but he sharted

[arsene york-hunt]

"One night, as I roamed in the park A nun ran to me from the dark. She lifted her habit From her drawers pulled a rabbit, A stoat and a little aardvark. A young girl Mae Lee from Hong Kong Saw smelly brown marks on her thong"

[doomhunk]

"I'm brewing some beer in my shed. Instead of dark brown, it's bright red. But I care not a jot ‘Cos I’ve just drunk the lot And in about half an hour I’ll be dead. One night, as I roamed in the park A nun ran to me from the dark."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"At the London Stadium we play Losing more than we win come what may To teach the next level We must call on the devil Least, that's what our owners will say. I'm brewing some beer in my shed. Instead of dark brown, it's bright red."

[Helmut Shown]

"A soldier it's said was afraid, And shit himself in a parade. All very squalid As the shit wasn't solid And the foul smell began to pervade At the London Stadium we play Losing more than we win come what may"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man from Baden Baden Had an embarrassing time with a hard on Sat next to his ""dish"" Who was eating a fish, A pilchard I think or Menhaden. a soldier it's said was afraid, And shit himself in a parade."

[Helmut Shown]

A young gay man from Wuppertal On the Schwebebahn sucked off his pal. You'd think that it'd follow That the young man would swallow But he spat it into the canal A young man from Baden Baden Had an embarrassing time with a hard on

[arsene york-hunt]

"Three ladies, a dog and a Gypo WERE riding along on a hippo To tell you the truth The Gypo was uncouth, As he lifted his leg and let rip-O. A young gay man from Wuppertal On the Schwebebahn sucked off his pal."

[doomhunk]

"There was a young rent boy called Jules, Made a living by sucking men's tools. Instead of BBC He received ITV And everyone felt like right fools. Three ladies, a dog and a Gypo We’re riding along on a hippo."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Helsinki Who had a large boil on his winkie The itch, it was plain, Just drove him insane. So he scratched off the tip with his pinkie. There was a young rent boy called Jules, Made a living by sucking men's tools."

[Helmut Shown]

"On a day trip once to France, I looked at a pissoir askance With an arrogant air I pointed Pierre Now where do I shit perchance? There was a young man from Helsinki Who had a large boil on his winkie"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Caught short on a Megabus trip The bog's blocked I'm biting my lip, So I asked them to stop, And a big turd did drop, In a ditch, then returned to my kip. On a day trip once to France, I looked at a pissoir askance"

[Helmut Shown]

I don't have time left now to cook - I've started to write a new book About an old priest On young boys he'd feast He's bent as a butchers hook Caught short on a Megabus trip The bog's blocked I'm biting my lip

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Her bottom was rounded and plump He said ""On my chest take dump"" ""I don't mind it runny"", ""But what would be funny"" ""Is have it sat there, in a clump"". I don't have time left now to cook - I've started to write a new book."

[Helmut Shown]

"An old time cowboy called Hank, Was coarse and uncouth to be frank Most there weren't minding the effing and blinding 'twas the smell from his crotch, it was rank Her bottom was rounded and plump He said ""On my chest take A dump"""

[Helmut Shown]

"An old time cowboy called Hank, Was coarse and uncouth to be frank Most there weren't minding the effing and blinding 'twas the smell from his crotch, it was rank Her bottom was rounded and plump He said ""On my chest take dump"""