New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold In vestry one day, felt the cold For God's help he cried As he slowly died Of hypothermia I'm told. There was a young lady from Delhi. Had a rude tattoo on her belly"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Yet another tottenham rhyme, You know we're obsessed with this slime. But - they've got their own ground, That I'm sure will be sound... Provided it's finished on time. The vicar of Stow-on-the-Wold In vestry one day, felt the cold"

[joe blob]

"Donald Trump tried something new He sent a Tweet that was true He said: ""I'll be blunt- I know I'm acunt- But I'm here for the girls i can screw."" Yet another tottenham rhyme, You know we're obsessed with this slime."

[Far East Hammer]

There was a young man from Playa Blanca Who made his living as a banker Making his money In manners funny No surprise he was a right wanker Donald Trump tried something new He sent a Tweet that was true

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a young man called Green Bought a pumpkin for haloween Big nose and big eyes And just to emphasise Big lips, it was Idi Amin There was a young man from Playa Blanca Who made his living as a banker"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now. Sit. Let me spin you a yarn, While we're here, by this clear sparkling tarn, This tale, I once read Of a girl who was dead But was fucked by three blokes in a barn. There once was a young man called Green Bought a pumpkin for haloween"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man who used to mutter about covering himself in peanut butter But, try as he might, It didn't feel right So, he laid down and died, in the gutter. Now. Sit. Let me spin you a yarn, While we're here, by this clear sparkling tarn"

[cup of tea]

They've Glenn Murray playing up front to some a diving cսnt But whatever you say Even if he is gay Hes better than me to be blunt There was an old man who used to mutter about coverering himself in peanut butter

[Helmut Shown]

Jose is looking a bit glum and is disliked by a particular one The look on his face Not out of place On someone just raped up the bum They've Glenn Murray playing up front to some a diving cսnt

[Darlo Debs]

"The Manure fans are sick to a man, After losing to poxy West Ham They'll get rid of their boss They dont giive a toss ..and end up with big fat Sam Jose is looking a bit glum and is disliked by a particular one"

[joe blob]

"The Tottenham squad I'm guessin' Are shell shocked since their Messi lesson. More games like this please, As I feel an unease Til the cunts are out. I'm confessin'. The Manure fans are sick to a man, After losing to poxy West Ham."

[Helmut Shown]

At tottenham fan Abraham In secret tried a piece of ham But the poor 4b2 Couldn't follow through It got caught in his diaphragm The Tottenham squad I'm guessin' Are shell shocked since their Messi lesson

[joe blob]

"The bloke with the GTech vac Tried to use it to clean out his crack, He felt very cool, Misusing this tool But 'twas blocked sucking in his nutsack. At tottenham fan Abraham In secret tried a piece of ham"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a brothel in Old Kent Road, They enforced a strict dress code Ladies in knickers Men dressed as vicars And no photos taken to upload The bloke with the GTech vac Tried to use it to clean out his crack"

[joe blob]

"In a lido a girl on all fours Was looking to find her lost drawers A man stared unblinking, At her pudendum winking Got a stiffy and hurried indoors. In a brothel in Old Kent Road, They enforced a strict dress code"

[Helmut Shown]

"A man who sneezed while on a bus Was covered with snot, and with pus The man by his side Was engulfed by the tide He punched him and started to cuss In a lido a girl on all fours Was looking to find her lost drawers"

[joe blob]

"A lesbian awoke with a fright She'd left her butt plug in overnight, As she removed it, It caused her to fit And was covered all over with shite. A man who sneezed while on a bus Was covered with snot, and with pus"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm told dutch athlete Dafne Schippers, Her vagine smells like old kippers It is said in some parts That she drops loud farts And some are absolute rippers A lesbian awoke with a fright She'd left her butt plug in overnight"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm told dutch athlete Dafne Schippers, Her vagine smells like old kippers It is said in some parts That she drops loud farts And some are absolute rippers A lesbian awoke with a fright She'd left her butt plug in overnight"

[joe blob]

"Whenever a big team comes to town The referee lets us down Now Manure were shite, But the ref got it right, And José's acting like a clown. I'm told dutch athlete Dafne Schippers, Her vagine smells like old kippers"

[Helmut Shown]

"Tube drivers on strike are a pain I had to, instead, go by train But Sadiq Khan has planned When we're home, trains are banned Another long walk in the rain Whenever a big team comes to town The referee lets us down"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A goat herd from old Madras Gave it to one up the arse. He used no protection On his throbbing erection. Their baby kid only eats grass. Tube drivers on strike are a pain I had to, instead, go by train"

[joe blob]

"At half time I went for a piss, So none of the goals I would miss, But while in the bog I had to drop a log, As it slid out, I felt pure bliss. A goat herd from old Madras Gave it to one up the arse."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I think I've perfected an art Parroting tunes by means of fart My ""God save the Queen"" Is really quite mean That's once I can get it to start. At half time I went for a piss, So none of the goals I would miss"

[Far East Hammer]

"""Get up early"" they said But me, I'd rather lie in bed There's no Doris to do Last night I had a few So I've got a fucking sore head I think I've perfected an art Parroting tunes by means of fart"