New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that little Bo Peep, Did dirty things with a sheep Of the flock, had her pick Chose one with a short dick 'cause it didnt go in too deep Jonathan Ross was outside the bank And asked for the taxi rank"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The leaves on the trees turn to brown, And some of them even fall down. So winter draws on And the good weather gone. Well fuck this, I'm off to Freetown. It's said that little Bo Peep, Did dirty things with a sheep"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A knight went out on his horse When his steed pitched him into some gorse He lost both his spurs So replaced them with burs, Then rode into battle, of course. The leaves on the trees turn to brown, And some of them even fall down."

[Helmut Shown]

"As big a cսnt as I have seen, Is Stoke City's James McClean In the first war I've heard tell Many Irishmen fell His attitude stinks it would seem A knight went out on his horse When his steed pitched him into some gorse"

[arsene york-hunt]

"We can't let the Limericks pass, Without a few lines on Snodgrass, Now given a break, His chance he did take, As a critic I feel like an arse. As big a cսnt as I have seen, Is Stoke City's James McClean"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young tourist in Vientiane, Was bum raped by a fat chinaman The slitty-eyed fag, Then paid for the shag; And got clean away in a van. We can't let the Limericks pass, Without a few lines on Snodgrass"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dwarf was out in a crowd when someone close farted out loud, He let out a roar As he fell to the floor, Knocked out by the foul methane cloud. A young tourist in Vientiane, Was bum raped by a fat chinaman"

[Helmut Shown]

Fuck up or conspiracy? We never get a penalty. But those crafty 4b2s Decisions never lose And diving is their speciality A dwarf was out in a crowd when someone close farted out loud

[arsene york-hunt]

"November. I've made a new ""Guy"", Resembles a tower to the sky. My neighbour called Gus Objected and thus... He gave me A fucking black eye. Fuck up or conspiracy? We never get a penalty."

[arsene york-hunt]

"November. I've made a new ""Guy"", Resembles a tower to the sky. My neighbour called Gus Objected and thus... He gave me A fucking black eye. Fuck up or conspiracy? We never get a penalty."

[arsene york-hunt]

"November. I've made a new ""Guy"", Resembles a tower to the sky. My neighbour called Gus Objected and thus... He gave me s fucking black eye. Fuck up or conspiracy, We never get a penalty."

[Alwaysaniron]

A flasher fron near Pontypool Was arrested quite near to a school His actions were rude And considered quite lewd But fellow paedo's all thought he was cool On top of a funereal pyre Was an effigy that was considerably higher

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A flasher from near Pontypool Was arrested quite near to a school We all were perplexed. It seems it's our Vexed, Just out being ""edgy"" and ""cool"". November. I've made a new ""Guy"", Resembles a tower to the sky."

[Helmut Shown]

"A priest from the mountains of Morne, Near the choir always had the horn Now he's defrocked In the chokee he's locked And for him there's no internet porn A flasher fron near Pontypool Was arrested quite near to a school"

[joe blob]

"Eskimo Nell had a slash And an icicle formed on her gash, And, so they say, She broke it away And used it to stir Cadbury's Smash A priest from the mountains of Morne, Near the choir always had the horn"

[Helmut Shown]

"Ham actor Robert de Niro Picked up a hooker in Cairo , What was a bit iffy He didnt get a stiffy So he worked her off with a biro Eskimo Nell had a slash And an icicle formed on her gash"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Draft dodger Heung Min Son Dives for the ref to con He rolls round in pain, Again and again, Then collapses like a dying swan. Ham actor Robert de Niro Picked up a hooker in Cairo"

[Helmut Shown]

"Art historian Anthony Blunt, Thought espionage worth a punt Minding the queen's art Allowed nothing to impart The Soviets must have thought him a cսnt Draft dodger Heung Min Son Dives for the ref to con"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The cackly old witch from Devizes Had tits that were different sizes, When walking like a cripple She exposes one nipple I don't think that she realizes. Art historian Anthony Blunt, Thought espionage worth a punt"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from St. Just Was embarrassed by the size of her bust They started to droop, And, when she did stoop, They sagged to the ground, in the dust. The cackly old witch from Devizes Had tits that were different sizes"

[Helmut Shown]

It's said that Samantha Janus Stuck a carrot right up her anus When on a screen test She lifted her vest She now stars in Coriolanus There was a young girl from St. Just Was embarrassed by the size of her bust

[arsene york-hunt]

"A New Zealander as a bit of a joke Did the Haka before having a poke, His gay boyfriend Matt Said: ""You look a right prat."" And fucked off with another bloke. It's said that Samantha Janus Stuck a carrot right up her anus."

[Helmut Shown]

Dave the plasterer from Borough Green Had a bell-end like you’ve never seen With the skill of a surgeon When shagging a virgin He split her from arsehole to spleen A New Zealander as a bit of a joke Did the Haka before having a poke

[doomhunk]

"There was a young girl from Crete, Did incredible things with her feet. She could edge you all day In just such a way That your orgasm would last a week. Dave the plasterer from Borough Green Had a bell-end like you’ve never seen."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Pacifists wear a white poppy. Their choice, but I think they are soppy. It takes but one tit To start doing it, And then all the others will copy. There was a young girl from Crete, Did incredible things with her feet."