New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A dominatrix Marilyn Dished out some rough discipline If you paid the right ackers She'd step on your knackers And stick a nail in your foreskin A man who crossed the Arctic Had frostbite on the end of his dick

[arsene york-hunt]

"Cameron put on his coat And fucked off after the Brexit vote, Now after Brexit, We'll be right in the shit, Thank you, you Etonian scrote. A dominatrix Marilyn Dished out some rough discipline."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a young man called Ray Worked in sewers on boxing day vile smells did emit From a surfeit of shit I think he deserved double pay Cameron put on his coat And fucked off after the Brexit vote

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've just pulled a cracker - Oh Joy! For inside - a fat lady boy :-) :-) :-) Also there's a joke, 'Bout a dirty old bloke, A paper hat and cuddly toy. There was a young man called Ray Worked in sewers on boxing day."

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've just pulled a cracker - Oh Joy! For inside - a fat lady boy :-) :-) :-) Also there's a joke, 'Bout a dirty old bloke, A paper hat and cuddly toy. There was a young man called Ray Worked in sewers on boxing day."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"""This won't hurt a bit now my dear."" Said Santa Claus to a reindeer I'll make your nose glow As inside you I go Now, how's that for good Christmas cheer??? I've just pulled a cracker - Oh Joy! For inside - a fat lady boy :-) :-) :-)"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Arizona Who'd never seen a man with a boner Was overcome with joy, When shown one by a boy She then licked his huge glans corona. ""This won't hurt a bit now my dear."" Said Santa Claus to a reindeer"

[Helmut Shown]

Defect*

[Helmut Shown]

"As Levy pondered his club's bill For their new stadium he felt rather ill... On his feet he was unsteady Said ""My life already"" "" I think I'll detect to Brazil"" There was a young girl from Arizona Who'd never seen a man with a boner"

[Helmut Shown]

"In a whorehouse in New Orleans, There are 30 girls and two queens And for those on the bend An arsehole to rend I hope that he's not eaten beans There was a young girl from Arizona Who'd never seen a man with a boner"

[Eric Hitchmoe]

"In a whorehouse in New Orleans, There are 30 girls and two queens. Be careful to check Down from the neck That your whore does not have a Frank and two beans As Levy pondered his club's bill For their new stadium he felt rather ill..."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Lee Mason, Anthony Taylor, Mike Dean Fuck us over whenever they're seen, There's blinding and effing But the standard of reffing. Is little short of obscene. In a whorehouse in New Orleans, There are 30 girls and two queens."

[Helmut Shown]

"A plateful of sprouts, it is said, Is good for your heart and your head The effect on the bowels Will cause cramps and howls Be careful you don't shit the bed Lee Mason, Anthony Taylor, Mike Dean Fuck us over whenever they're seen"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was no bog so Mr. Horner, Had gone for a shit in the corner But he chose the wrong hut 'cos some tourists turned up Mistaking the place for a sauna. A plateful of sprouts, it is said, Is good for your heart and your head"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty young boy from Lahore Wrote graffiti on the toilet door, While writing his tome, His mother came home, And threw him roughly to the floor. There was no bog so Mr. Horner, Had gone for a shit in the corner"

[Helmut Shown]

"A Spaniard whose name was Cervantes, Had a collection of dirty panties Caught raiding the washing He was given a coshing By a local group of vigilantes A dirty young boy from Lahore Wrote graffiti on the toilet door"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Spaniard whose name was Cervantes, Had a collection of dirty panties"

[arsene york-hunt]

"At Stratford you can be sure The standard of ref will be poor Fuck all for the home seem, And penalties it would seem, We don't get them anymore"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our run of wins comes to a halt, We're back down to earth with a jolt. We were, poor to be blunt, But the ref was a cսnt, So there is no need for a revolt. A Spaniard whose name was Cervantes, Had a collection of dirty panties"

[Helmut Shown]

"Our run of wins comes to a halt, We're back down to earth with a jolt Their jailbird upfront Is a five-star cսnt With Lee Mason allowing assault At Stratford you can be sure The standard of ref will be poor"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While in Rio I had some time free Thought I'd try arahuasca tea Served by a bint in the raw Who's growler looked sore. I know for a fact it weren't me. Our run of wins comes to a halt, We're back down to earth with a jolt."

[arsene york-hunt]

"For Christmas I want a new drone My last one just didn't come home I flew it near Crawley, Now miss it quite sorely, There's a good one on google chrome. While in Rio I had some time free Thought I'd try arahuasca tea"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a Brothel in French Guiana She did strange things with a banana And, given a grape, Would go down on an ape, But only if he was a charmer. For Christmas I want a new drone My last one just didn't come home"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Dele Alli got hit on the bounce Some say ""good job"" the big ponce Some people did moan, This they cannot condone, But laughter was my first response. In a Brothel in French Guiana She did strange things with a banana"

[Helmut Shown]

Bonce !