New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"For Brexit they're stockpiling food What will the mug voters conclude? Both leavers and stayers Know as much as bricklayers, Under both parties now we are screwed. On the slopes of the mountains of Morne, A young shepherd lad got the horn"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a man from Japan Who ate all his food from a can No gourmet dish Just a can of old fish And he smelt like a care home bedpan For Brexit they're stockpiling food What will the mug voters conclude?

[Mike Oxsaw]

"To a brothel in old Tashkent, A perverted traveller went Gag-ging for a shag He fucked an old hag But considered it money well spent. There once was a man from Japan Who ate all his food from a can"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A rent boy now thinks that its fine To post on Westhamonline, A fan of the blues? What next? Four be twos, Those gefilte fish eating swine. To a brothel in old Tashkent, A perverted traveller went"

[Helmut Shown]

"When having a sherman one night. My mum burst in, switched on the light She got quite a shock Seeing my cock The poor woman fainted on sight A rent boy now thinks that its fine To post on Westhamonline"

[The Grim Rieper]

There once was a limerick thread Mainly used by those brain dead The shit that they wrote Was nothing of note I tend to post bollocks instead

[arsene york-hunt]

"I see that the rent boy pricks Citeh have knocked for six, So we can all scoff, As the ""fans"" all fuck off, When the jew decides to up sticks. When having a sherman one night. My mum burst in, switched on the light"

[Helmut Shown]

"So now that our season is over, I'm making my way down to Dover On a booze cruise My body to abuse And wake with a giant hangover I see that the rent boy pricks Citeh have knocked for six"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man shit himself on the bus, Which created a quite big fuss To make matters worse, His Chalfonts then burst And coated his cable in pus. So now that our season is over, I'm making my way down to Dover"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Scousers and Sp*rs are all whining Their injuries? Season defining, A feeble excuse, So let's be obtuse, Both clubs are cunts, I'm opining. A man shit himself on the bus, Which created a quite big fuss"

[Helmut Shown]

"A cսnt, says he supports Liverpool. Filmed the crowd at the match, what a tool! Their phoney grief Like Adam's fig leaf Hides a cock and a single crown jewel The Scousers and Sp*rs are all whining Their injuries? Season defining"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The claims about Brexit abound, But none of them are really sound I have no doubt, We'll go crashing out, Then recriminations will abound.. A cսnt, says he supports Liverpool. Filmed the crowd at the match, what a tool!"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The claims about Brexit abound, But none of them are really sound I have no doubt, We'll go crashing out, Then recriminations will abound.. A cսnt, says he supports Liverpool. Filmed the crowd at the match, what a tool!"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young lady from Flint Who went on the game 'cause she's skint For a couple of bob She'd suck on your knob She's richer, but not worth a mint. The claims about Brexit abound, But none of them are really sound"

[Helmut Shown]

So it's Palace away this weekend But what West Ham team will attend? Will West Ham be thriving? As there'll be much less diving Without that Zaha bellend There was a young lady from Flint Who went on the game 'cause she's skint

[Mike the Hammer]

"mourning from the scousers, I hear As their hopes of the league disappear But if we've helped be the reason For their trophyless season I know I'll ve raising a cheer So it's Palace away this weekend But what West Ham team will attend?"

[Helmut Shown]

"We'll be playing grief mongering scouse, Every one is a dirty shithouse Their manager's a kraut The dummy's spat out He's a cսnt and a big girl's blouse More mourning from the scousers, I hear As their hopes of the league disappear"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Her mum found it really shocking When she admitted she'd tried space docking To this vile perversion I have an aversion, Not something I would like clocking. We'll be playing grief mongering scouse, Every one is a dirty shithouse"

[Helmut Shown]

"Admiral Lord Nelson, Horatio, Was given by Hardy, fellatio It caused quite a ripple When he tweaked Nelson's nipple As it wasn't quite in the right ratio (I know its shit but you try and rhyme something with fellatio), Her mum found it really shocking When she admitted she'd tried space docking"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lady called Dinah On a trip on an ocean liner, She went, so it seems, For the love of her dreams. But got off with a Polish coal miner. Admiral Lord Nelson, Horatio, Was given by Hardy, felatio."

[Helmut Shown]

"I bet you can't guess what comes next. Some numbers, or maybe some text Some disgusting questions And filthy suggestions That is the art of the sext There was a young lady called Dinah On a trip on an ocean liner"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old lady from Troon Who went missing this afternoon She was found in the Rhine, 'cos of your extra line Which buggered the meter/tune. I bet you can't guess what comes next. Some numbers, or maybe some text"

[J.Riddle]

There once was a young man from Hants. Had a hoard of ladies used pants Put them on the line Smelled so fine Put them to the nose. Smelled like a rose There was an old lady from Troon Who went missing this afternoon

[arsene york-hunt]

"I wait while my dog lays a cable, And, if it's not runny. I'm able, To scrape up the shit In a bag then place it, And post it to my ex. called Mabel. There once was a young man from Hants. Had a hoard of ladies used pants"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a bone idle pole, Came here to live on the dole Got helped with his form By some fucking great YAWN, A ponce, who excels in the role. I wait while my dog lays a cable, And, if it's not runny. I'm able"