New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old man from Sutton Had a stench from his belly button When his foreskin is back Or pulls open his crack There's a smell of festering mutton An Egyptian on the banks of the Nile As a boat passed did something so vile

[arsene york-hunt]

"He wanted to be their saviour Sarri hates Kepa's behaviour It happens sometimes, You get difficult rhymes So fuck off and lick your dog's labia. There was an old man from Sutton Had a stench from his belly button"

[Helmut Shown]

"A old four be two from Israel, Sold dirty books written in braille, Secondhand they were tricky As the pages got sticky As a business it just couldnt fail He wanted to be their saviour Sarri hates Kepa's behaviour"

[arsene york-hunt]

"At Ascot in the silver ring enclosure He was caught for indecent exposure Pissed and acting silly, He took out his willy, He'd certainly lost his composure. A old four be two from Israel, Sold dirty books written in brail,"

[Helmut Shown]

"For years dodgy refs fuck us up, Costing points, and runs in the cup They help the big teams, its said Leaving the rest of us for dead The premier league has sold us a pup At Ascot in the silver ring enclosure He was caught for indecent exposure"

[arsene york-hunt]

"For years dodgy refs fuck us up, Costing points, and runs in the cup"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Remainers are wearing a frown, For leavers, they haven't worn down, Fuck all these views I am sick of the news, I'm switching over to Countdown. For years dodgy refs fuck us over, But when we get some lu"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The people that I most abhor Let their dogs shit outside my front door But I cannot abide When the wander inside And do it again on my floor. Remainers are wearing a frown, For leavers, they haven't worn down"

[Helmut Shown]

Jimmy Savile used to make lots of noise When he used to 'fix it' for poor little boys A night with this clown And they couldn't sit down Or walk down the road with some poise The people that I most abhor Let their dogs shit outside my front door

[WSM Hammer]

It is said that Queen Boadicea Used to like having sex in her rear She took off her cloak Revealed she was a bloke So that queen was a big raging queer Jimmy Seville used to make lots of noise When he used to 'fix it' for poor little boys

[Helmut Shown]

The vicar of my diocese Once had the whole choir on it's knees Through clerical skullduggery Leading to buggery And a rash of venereal disease It is said that Queen Boadicea Used to like having sex in her rear

[Mike Oxsaw]

There once was a fellow called Max Whose sphincter was terribly lax. At fart number two He'd just follow through And ruin hie best pair of kacks. The vicar of my diocese Once had the whole choir on it's knees

[arsene york-hunt]

"Poch gives the ref all the blame For losing at Burnley, such a shame This bad tempered rant, To me was somewhat cant He looked like a pantomime dame. There once was a fellow called Max Whose sphincter was terribly lax."

[Helmut Shown]

"For years we've had dodgy decisions, But one goes our way, it's derision To put us apart To win a pundits heart Is to go out and get circumcision Poch gives the ref all the blame For losing at Burnley, such a shame"

[arsene york-hunt]

"At home with a bottle of Gin Watching another West Ham win,* But the ""experts"" on SKY, Would make anyone sigh, You've played for the victims, you're in. Just edited the first 2 lines to make it scan* For years we've had dodgy decisions, But one goes our way, it's derision."

[WSM Hammer]

I've got out my old photo book - I wanted to see how I look I was in the front room When my home made bomb went BOOM And now I am left with this hook At home last night with a bottle of Gin Watching another West Ham home win

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Lee Mason or Anthony Taylor Both bald and as refs a failure They favour, it seems The much bigger teams Like Vexed on here fancies a sailor. I've got out my old photo book - I wanted to see how I look"

[Helmut Shown]

Will we have them over a barrel. When we bring on mighty Andy Carroll The long streak of piss I certainly won't miss When dressed up in West Ham apparel Lee Mason or Anthony Taylor Both bald and as refs a failure

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will we be on rocket fuel With the return to the team of The Jewel? But whenever, it seems, We are playing shit teams, We play like a pub team from Ewell. Will we have them over a barrel. When we bring on mighty Andy Carroll"

[Helmut Shown]

David Icke's planned tour of down under unfortunately has been blown quite asunder To launch an appeal He has made a new deal With a sympathetic crowdfunder Will we be on rocket fuel With the return to the team of The Jewel?

[Helmut Shown]

David Icke's planned tour of down under unfortunately has been blown quite asunder To launch an appeal He has made a new deal With a sympathetic crowdfunder Will we be on rocket fuel With the return to the team of The Jewel?

[Dowies Love Child]

"There one was a young man named Paul, Who shagged a girl from Senegal While her fanny was huge with flaps bulbous and rouge and a stench that could truly appall David Icke's planned tour of down under unfortunately has been blown quite asunder"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A plumber from down in the south Walked home with a kebab in his mouth I'm fed up with this life, He told his lady wife, Next week we're moving to Louth. There one was a young man named Paul, Who shagged a girl from Senegal"

[cup of tea]

"A morris Dancer from Crewe, Once had a bad Vindaloo Madras it was not But it was fucking hot So much so he had to go poo A plumber from down in the south Walked home with a kebab in his mouth"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That 100 vaginas on the box? Mostly lesbians on their soapbox, If it's cunts that you seek, See them every week, Watch tottenham hotspur on Fox. A morris Dancer from Crewe, Once had a bad Vindaloo"