New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young man from the sticks, Made a living sucking blokes dicks. He felt quite the jerk Couldn't find straight work So to make ends meet performed tricks A Doctor inspected a whore Whose rectum was getting quite sore"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I went to my doctor last night Who told me with unbound delight We'll fix it in a jiffy, And you'll get a stiffy Viagra will help, well it might. There was a young man from the sticks, Made a living sucking blokes dicks."

[Mike Oxsaw]

I really am flabbergasted Carroll's fitness has not lasted More chance of him fit Than getting Brexit So cսnt the whole lot in the bastard I went to my doctor last night Who told me with unbound delight

[Mike Oxsaw]

I really am flabbergasted Carroll's fitness has not lasted More chance of him fit Than getting Brexit So cսnt the whole lot in the bastard I went to my doctor last night Who told me with unbound delight

[Far East Hammer]

"There was a young man from Bangkok, Was wiping his knob with a sock He'd just done a bird Up the hole of turd Without a dunkie on his cock I really am flabbergasted Carroll's fitness has not lasted"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A woman was trying to park, Broad daylight, like - not even dark Could not get in the space, She completely lost face, When she said: ""Fuck this for a lark."" There was a young man from Bangkok, Was wiping his knob with a sock"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A prostitute from Chang Mai, Worked from an old Hyundai. But what I found silly, Was the size if her willy... And what she kept in her Jap's eye. A woman was trying to park, Broad daylight, like - not even dark"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A 3-0 win at Cardiff would be nice With a spectacular hat-trick from Rice, How the mighty fall, We came home with fuck all, When even a point would suffice. A prostitute from Chang Mai, Worked from an old Hyundai"

[WSM Hammer]

In the chippy I saw a strange bod Who ordered his chips and some cod He was as mad as a hatter For not having a sausage in batter And he actually looked like Ken Dodd A 3-0 win at Cardiff would be nice With a spectacular hat-trick from Rice

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm trying my hardest, in vain To get a night's sleep on the plane So I'll get my kicks Writing Limericks, I know that this sounds a bit lame. In the chippy I saw a strange bod Who ordered his chips and some cod"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While sailing up the Limpopo She desp'rately needed to go But was sadly unable To lay down a cable, In spite of a Turtle head show. I'm trying my hardest, in vain To get a night's sleep on the plane"

[arsene york-hunt]

"No action against Kane for a headbutt The case is open and shut The England Captain, Will get off once again, The degenerate sp*rs playing slut. While sailing up the Limpopo She desp'rately needed to go"

[Helmut Shown]

So Tottenham our out of the race That puts such a smile on my face The refs have seen through The diving they do Their deluded fans are a disgrace No action against Kane for a headbutt The case is open and shut

[WSM Hammer]

"Next up we have the barcodes, Illiterate, wife beating toads For breakfast they drink wine Especially our number 9 How much does he get paid - fucking loads So Tottenham our out of the race That puts such a smile on my face"

[arsene york-hunt]

"What goes round comes round they say, Payback for handball last Friday But Friday's was a freak, Not the norm, so to speak, Normal service resumed yesterday. Next up we have the barcodes, Illiterate, wife beating toads"

[Helmut Shown]

"Stuart Atwell, Lee Mason, Mike Dean, The quality of refs is obscene These jumped up squirts Need a kick where it hurts Replace them with a machine What goes round comes round they say, Payback for handball last Friday"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On facebook one of his likes Was sniffing the saddles of bikes, Also playing with shit, He enjoys quite a bit, And watching two love making dikes. Stuart Atwell, Lee Mason, Mike Dean, The quality of refs is obscene"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a farmer called Chris Who liked drinking his own warm piss The vitamins within Were good for the skin But his breath? No girl would kiss On facebook one of his likes Was sniffing the saddles of bikes

[cup of tea]

"My working life's come to an end, So, in my retirement I'll spend On ladyboy Thai hookers Bent over their cookers To clap clinic they will then send There once was a farmer called Chris Who liked drinking his own warm piss"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Looking at the chairman David Gold Thinking I hope I never look that old But, to end up that rich Would not be a hitch At least, that was what I was told. My working life's come to an end, So, in my retirement I'll spend"

[WSM Hammer]

An old immigrant fell in the sea Trying to shit from his rubber dinghy. He was praying out loud to Allah But still ended up like Salah So that's one more of those cunts we won't see Looking at the chairman David Gold Thinking I hope I never look that old

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm getting up early in the morning And will probably spend half the day yawning, Then I'll think of last night And tottenham's plight, And rejoice in the new day that's dawning. An old immigrant fell in the sea Trying to shit from his rubber dinghy."

[WSM Hammer]

"Normal service tonight was resumed A big team, home ref had us doomed It was never a pen we've been cheated again just as an unexpected point loomed I'm getting up early in the morning amd will probably spend half the day yawning"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An Egyptian on the banks of the Nile As a boat passed did something so vile, Wiped his arse with a sock, And waving his cock, While giving a rotten teeth smile, Normal service tonight was resumed A big team, home ref had us doomed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An Egyptian on the banks of the Nile As a boat passed did something so vile, Wiped his arse with a sock, And waving his cock, While giving a rotten teeth smile, Normal service tonight was resumed A big team, home ref had us doomed"