New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"We're sitting in fourth in the league, Yet some of us have greater need Our form against shit For our fans isn't fit And Moyes blames it on bad fatigue The world and its wife has a view On what Zouma did or didn't do"

[Helmut Shown]

"We're sitting in fourth in the league, Yet some of us have greater need Our form against shit For our fans isn't fit And Moyes blames it on bad fatigue The world and its wife has a view On what Zouma did or didn't do"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The Hammers centre back Kurt Zouma Thought he had a great sense of humour. Could make a cat fly, We all wondered ""Why?"" Turns out it's a shit Chelsea rumour *** special free bonus limerick *** There once was a player called Kurt, Who tried for his cat to give hurt. The ""kick"" it was gentle. But people went mental And claimed he was nothing but dirt. *** end of special free bonus limerick *** We're sitting in fourth in the league, Yet some of us have greater need"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The sun has been up in the sky, Like a big piece of lemon curd pie, Oh my fucking word .I've trod in some turd. Too distracted looking up high. The Hammers centre back Kurt Zouma Thought he had a great sense of humour."

[Hermit Road]

"This ancient limerick thread, Has once more risen from the dead. It’s strange in a way, I thought of it yesterday And now it’s not just in my head. The sun has been up in the sky, Like a big piece of lemon curd pie"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So, now that the season is done, And we're all jetting off for some fun, To Costa del crime We'll have a great time And get covid and burnt from the sun. This ancient limerick thread, Has once more risen from the dead."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On Westhamonline it is said Never to bump an old thread But if the subject is good, I think that you should... ...and get neither yellow or red. So, now that the season is done, And we're all jetting off for some fun"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On Westhamonline it is said Never to bump an old thread But if the subject is good, I think that you should... ...and get neither yellow or red. So, now that the season is done, And we're all jetting off for some fun"

[Aalborg Hammer]

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock cos Jill's a pre-op tranny

[arsene york-hunt]

"A three foot four little man Had a penis that had many fans This randy old dwarf, Once wanked himself orf, With a prostitute licking his glans, There was a young man called Bertie, Who stank and was always dirty"

[HairyHammer]

"I never knew why 'twas oft writ: ""Shut the fuck, up Hairy you tit."" But now I know Our brains are too slow For someone talking true shit. A three foot four little man Had a penis that had many fans"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now Ramadan - it starts tomorrow. Four weeks of no food and great sorrow. It's not very nice Making this sacrifice, For delusional Mumbo- Jumbo. I never knew why 'twas oft writ: ""Shut the fuck, up Hairy you tit."""

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A farmer and two poofs on a train, Kept farting again and again. Then one followed through, And produced a small poo. I think it was Cuthbert...or Wayne. Now Ramadan - it starts tomorrow. Four weeks of no food and great sorrow."

[HairyHammer]

"So you have just purposely fucked up a limerick to be pedantic? ok. I usually would not I doubt anyone would go to their limerick but it has been a week and no one has posted on this thread and tonight I wanted to have a little kick at the Spurs as their implosion was hilarious to see on motd, but you did not allow me that pleasure no problem I get it rules is rules more important than having fun. Oh but this is a Limerick thread the Irony."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Spuds lose three in a row 1-0 and their cock doesn't crow, It aint good enough, Replying t'your own stuff. It's against the rules. You should know. A farmer and two poofs on a train, Kept farting again and again."

[HairyHammer]

Sometimes I feel really blue My cock is like the end of a cue It's not easy to find And my wife lies resigned So I got her a toy called buzzoo The Spuds lose three in a row 1-0 and their cock doesn't crow

[HairyHammer]

"At the whistle, still feeling bliss I just had to go for a piss So I let it all go On a spuds fan below He just smiled then blew me a kiss. Sometimes I feel really blue My cock is like the end of a cue"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Even though the tickets were dear And they banned every drop of beer An old Hammer grunts I'ts still full of cunts, New stadium, same wankers, I fear. At the whistle, still feeling bliss I just had to go for a piss"

[eswing hammer]

"It seems we have done this before, Visit a new ground and score more Even though they claim it’s our cup final And there was only one urinal When Antonio scored we did roar., Even though the tickets were dear And they banned every drop of beer"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"After weeks of swaggering around We stuffed the cunts on their own ground A good away win, That's one on the spin A record, for sure, I'll be bound. It seems we have done this before, Visit a new ground and score more"

[arsene york-hunt]

Just as I thought I'd pull some nice gash My stomach bubbled - I had to dash I sat on the bog But there was no log I just had a big Johnny Cash. After weeks of swaggering around We stuffed the cunts on their own fround

[Far East Hammer]

"An orchestra conductor called Hugh, Tried a quiet fart, but followed through, His arse-music loud A vile smelling cloud And his trousers all stained with poo Just as I thought I'd pull some nice gash My stomach bubbled - I had to dash"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Diego Costa’s a chap, Who had a little mishap Wanking in the shower Took over an hour, Including a stop for a crap. An orchestra conductor called Hugh, Tried a quiet fart, but followed through,"

[Hermit Road]

"I went for a paddle one day, When, what should I see come my way? It was rather rum, As it came from a bum, And upon my bald head did it lay. Diego Costa’s a chap, Who had a little mishap"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Doctor inspected a whore Whose rectum was getting quite sore He advised ""Face the front,"" ""Make use of your cսnt"" ""It is, in the main, what it's for."" I went for a paddle one day, When, what should I see come my way?"