New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[cup of tea]

So prices have gone through the roof. It's ALL due to Brexit - the truth!! My brain feels like fog But it's all down to Rees-Mogg Who comes across as uncouth Whilst wandering through town of Welling My balls started sweating and swelling

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Prince Andrew is a bit of a ponce And there's much going on in his bonce. And most of it's shite, So try as he might, He's always the Crown Prince of Nonce. So prices have gone through the roof. It's ALL due to Brexit - the truth!!"

[Alwaysaniron]

Youd think all this shit would die down About parties during lockdown. Frankly I dont really care Who was fucking there As long as we get rid of Boris the clown. Prince Andrew is a bit of a ponce And theres much going on in his bonce

[arsene york-hunt]

"Mason Greenwood despite all the hype Has somehow reverted to type, He thought it quite trendy To behave like Mendy The bloke's a fucking guttersnipe.. You'd think all this shit would die down, About parties during lockdown. ."

[Helmut Shown]

"They say that Harry's Meg Markle, (The one with a boat race like Arkle). Although she refutes She got her tits out in Suits The marriage has become a debacle Mason Greenwood despite all the hype Has somehow reverted to type"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Another royal let off the hook, And now a sensational book? It's known that Prince Charlie, Oft acted bizarrely They say he once rogered the cook. They say that Harry's Meg Markle, (The one with a boat race like Arkle)."

[Alan]

"Prince Andrew must be now nearly skint After paying off some American bint He hauled down her drawers With his non-sweaty paws Now he's become her Royal Mint I'll cede to Mike's Another royal let off the hook, And now a sensational book?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

I cede to the honourable member.

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Last night I had a hot curry To the toilet this morning I'll hurry I'll sure get the hump If my spice-riddled dump Don't pepper the bowl with it's slurry Another royal let off the hook, And now a sensational book?"

[Alwaysaniron]

Last night I had a hot curry To the toilet this morning I'll hurry So as I dropped my load I let my arse explode evacuating a ring burning slurry. Prince Andrew must be now nearly skint After paying off some American bint

[cup of tea]

A left back and a striker needed But i fear my appeal won't be heeded The Dave's say they tried But we all know that they lied At least in Europa we're seeded Last night I had a hot curry To the toilet this morning I'll hurry

[cup of tea]

A left back and a striker needed But i fear my appeal won't be heeded The Dave's say they tried But we all know that they lied At least in Europa we're seeded Last night I had a hot curry To the toilet this morning I'll hurry

[Helmut Shown]

"Thank fuck for Dawsons sleeve It earned West Ham a last minute reprieve. On so many fronts A lot played like cunts So bad, you woudn't believe A left back and a striker needed But i fear my appeal won't be heeded"

[Charoo]

A hooker from Ouagadougou Charges blokes to have fun with her do-do Zouma got bored of fucking her twat When he got off he booted her cat So she made him feel ill with some voodoo. Thank fuck for Dawsons sleeve It earned West Ham a last minute reprieve.

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our team struggles on game to game No new players to help, such a shame But despite creaking Joints We're still picking up points. If we fuck up, it's Moysie to blame. A hooker from Ouagadougou, Charge blokes to have fun with her do-do."

[,]

"Up on the moral high ground Saint Graeme Souness is found But his views are outdated Justifiably slated Old fashioned, plain wrong and unsound Our team struggles on game to game No new players to help, such a shame"

[Helmut Shown]

"The meeja all say he must die But when asked to explain to us""Why?"" They make a beeline On behalf of the feline Then tuck in to a veal and ham pie Up on the moral high ground Saint Graeme Souness can be found"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When thinking of Schrodinger's cat Kurt Zouma was reflecting that It could fly and stay still, Yet suffer no ill Unless it was seen by a prat The meeja all say he must die But when asked to explain to us""Why?"""

[Son of Sam]

My ex girlfriend name of Lucy Had a hairy twat that was juicy When in up to my balls It looks like Niagara Falls Juicy Lucy's a regular floozie When thinking of Schrodinger's cat Kurt Zouma was reflecting that

[cup of tea]

Tapping up's the order of the day Every time our boys get to play Soon Bowen and Rice will be gone But definitely not to Charlton But to Scouse and Chelsea for the pay My ex girlfriend name of Lucy Had a hairy twat that was juicy

[cup of tea]

Tapping up's the order of the day Every time our boys get to play Soon Bowen and Rice will be gone But definitely not to Charlton But to Scouse and Chelsea for the pay My ex girlfriend name of Lucy Had a hairy twat that was juicy

[Helmut Shown]

"As a human Graeme Souness Is a hypocritical mess Mention the Heysel And his little grey cell Doesn't register, he couldnt care less Tapping up's the order of the day Every time our boys get to play"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Russians are coming, it's said. Let's talk about Texas, instead. But forget all of that, The main news? Zouma's cat, It's time this shit was put to bed. As a human Graeme Souness Is a hypocritical mess."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Today I've been farting all day Some freaks like to smell them and pay If the money is right, I will set one alight To brighten your very dull day. The Russians are coming, it's said. Let's talk about Texas, instead."

[cup of tea]

The world and its wife has a view On what Zouma did or didn't do Boot a cat it was said But alas it's not dead It's now in a cage full of poo Today I've been farting all day Some.freaks like to smell them and pay