New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

The people of Ukraine's Kyiv Think Putin's a criminal spiv If pronounced Keev this time Then it's simpler to rhyme Or else I'll look like a div For a ticket I would kill And get to fly to Seville

[Helmut Shown]

"Boris, like a dog with a bone Said ""I'll create a Ukraine no fly zone"" The serial shagger With a great deal of swagger Thinks like he's Al Capone The people of Ukraine's Kyiv Think Putin's a criminal spiv"

[Helmut Shown]

"Boris, like a dog with a bone Said ""I'll create a Ukraine no fly zone"" The serial shagger With a great deal of swagger Thinks like he's Al Capone The people of Ukraine's Kyiv Think Putin's a criminal spiv"

[Alwaysaniron]

"An old gentle soul from Belize Pissed his pants whenever he sneezed Drawing one final breath his last just before death followed through dying exceedingly pleased. Boris, like a dog with a bone Said ""I'll create a Ukraine no fly zone"""

[cup of tea]

"An old Swedish man, name of Lundquist. Went to Thailand as a sex tourist The sights were quite drab But he picked up some crabs In form, they were the purest An old gentle soul from Belize Pissed his pants whenever he sneezed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An expat was paying no tax, In keeping accounts was quite lax. The savings conveyed To hookers he paid. Ladyboys, indians and blacks. An old Swedish man, name of Lundquist. Went to Thailand as a sex tourist"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A gansgter from London called Gary A bag full of drugs he would carry, Got busted by feds For selling said meds, And that was in last January An expat was paying no tax, In keeping accounts was quite lax"

[cup of tea]

Some of these Limericks I read The syllable count they exceed. Although just a game It's a big damning shame The rules we must all start to heed A gansgter from London called Gary A bag full of drugs he would carry

[arsene york-hunt]

"I really don't know what to do. Should I vote for red or vote blue? I think I'll abstain At home I'll remain, Politicians? All wankers, it's true. Some of these Limericks I read The syllable count they exceed."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Brexit, Corona and now war Seen the prices go up for a whore The Press cannot wait, Just hit that click bait And ramp up their profits some more. I really don't know what to do. Should I vote for red or vote blue?"

[cup of tea]

"The Patrons of WHO were revolting:- ""WE DEMAND THE RETURN OF LORD ZOLTAN"" the WHO patrons fired cannons When they got back black anons After a protest held in Bolton Brexit, Corona and now war Seen the prices go up for a whore"

[IsaacHock]

"A tranny by the name of Roberta Orgasmed with the help of a Frankfurter He / She said ""Keep schtum Kurt, and head back to Frankfurt, when you get there, remember, Omerta"" The Patrons of WHO were revolting:- ""WE DEMAND THE RETURN OF LORD ZOLTAN"""

[cup of tea]

"Though us losing gets on my wick, A Liverpool win makes me sick, Those pesky bin dippers All smelling like kippers And Klopp tye false teeth wearing prick A tranny by the name of Roberta Orgasmed with the help of a Frankfurter"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think if I had a fiver For falls by Salah (the diver). If he's not to be blunt, A cheating arab cսnt, Then I am Lady Godiva, Though us losing gets on my wick, A Liverpool win makes me sick,"

[Helmut Shown]

A Nigerian fella called Marvin Ate a whole donkey because he was starvin This culinary treat Of equine meat The recipe? An original Philip Harbin I think if I had a fiver For falls by Salah (the diver)

[Helmut Shown]

A Nigerian fella called Marvin Ate a whole donkey because he was starvin This culinary treat Of equine meat The recipe? An original Philip Harbin I think if I had a fiver For falls by Salah (the diver)

[cup of tea]

"Once a German geezer called Fritz, Suffered a bad dose of the shits A night on the curry To the toilet in a hurry Wiping his are not with paper but his mitts A Nigerian fella called Marvin Ate a whole donkey because he was starvin"

[arsene york-hunt]

"At what point do NATO react To Putin the nutter, that's fact Life on earth will end. When nukes they will send To those of the old Warsaw pact. Once a German geezer called Fritz, Suffered a bad dose of the shits"

[cup of tea]

"Shane Warne was a wonderful spinner All round Lad, and Australian winner When the English were batting Just ask ol' Mike Gatting Out for fuck all and sent for their dinner At what point do NATO react To Putin the nutter, that's fact"

[Son of Sam]

or Helmut Shown' limericks all appear twice They're so good I think this is nice

[Son of Sam]

"Words ""Orange"", and ""Silver"" and such, Do not give us rhyming types much... Others like 'Chaos' and 'Circus' 'Chocolate', 'Ambulance' and 'Plankton' Leave me trying at straws to clutch Shane Warne was a wonderful spinner All round Lad, and Australian winner"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The day of the transfer big spend For Chelsea has come to an end Just Bosmans and frees, Plus a few refugees, To bring back that '70s blend. Words ""Orange"", and ""Silver"" and such, Do not give us rhyming types much..."

[Helmut Shown]

It get harder to make ends meet I'm putting my wife on the street Hawking her crotch She won't earn much But she may give a sailor a treat The day of the transfer big spend For Chelsea has come to an end

[Helmut Shown]

It get harder to make ends meet I'm putting my wife on the street Hawking her crotch She won't earn much But she may give a sailor a treat The day of the transfer big spend For Chelsea has come to an end

[Helmut Shown]

It get harder to make ends meet I'm putting my wife on the street Hawking her crotch She won't earn much But she may give a sailor a treat The day of the transfer big spend For Chelsea has come to an end