New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[cup of tea]

Remember the food on Green Street How rank was that hamburger meat I don't mean to sound corse But evidentally it was horse My diarrhea ended up looking like wheat A very old man from Peru Done ten shits a day in his loo

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Lyon ultras are out for West Ham Will our fans end up going Van Damme All handbags and bouncing They'll sure get a trouncing And throw their toys outta the pram Remember the food on Green Street How rank was that hamburger meat

[cup of tea]

"I'm hoping to make some fine sauce, To pour on my dinner, of course. It seems such a waste For your obvious fine taste Of eating a fucking dead horse Lyon ultras are out for West Ham Will our fans end up going Van Damme"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Oh bollocks, for fucking Christ's sake, It's an international break An absolute folly So suits get their jolly Thus proving they're all on the make. I'm hoping to make some fine sauce, To pour on my dinner, of course."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The lambada, the waltz and the twist, amazing what you do when you're pissed. You gyrate and grunt Looking a right cսnt, Men dancing is gay, I insist. Oh bollocks, for fucking Christ's sake, It's n international break"

[Helmut Shown]

"All that glisters is not gold— Often have you heard that told. Promised next level You sell your soul to the devil But end up outside in the cold The lambada, the waltz and the twist, amazing what you do when you're pissed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Teddy Boy near the Juke Box, Decided to take off his socks His new winkle pickers, His strides, and his knickers, Showing his dick covered with pox. All that glisters is not gold— Often have you heard that told."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A four-be-two from Stamford Hill, For erections had taken a pill His dick got so big It resembled a pig And using it made his wife ill A Teddy Boy near the Juke Box, Decided to take off his socks"

[arsene york-hunt]

*A four....

[arsene york-hunt]

"While out a man walking his dog Was in dire need of the bog He used a dock leaf To clean after relief, It stunk like a rotting dead frog An four-be-two from Stamford Hill, For erections had taken a pill"

[arsene york-hunt]

"While out a man walking his dog Was in dire need of the bog He used a dock leaf To clean after relief, It stunk like a rotting dead frog An four-be-two from Stamford Hill, For erections had taken a pill"

[Helmut Shown]

This Sunday we just cannot lose To the odious four-be-twos After Seville Kane's dribbling skill As seen on his bib full of ooze While out a man walking his dog Was in dire need of the bog

[arsene york-hunt]

"Well. Where do we take it from here? A false dawn is my biggest fear. Makes me very irate Playing big teams we're great, But shit teams? we're rubbish, I fear. This Sunday we just cannot lose To the odious four-be-twos"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I wonder if dear Ryanair to Lyon will really be fair They fly to Saigon, Then bus to Lyon, In time they may just get you there. Well. Where do we take it from here? A false dawn is my biggest fear."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I'm making this easy for you, So long as you don't mention ""Jew"" I suppose its forbid To say the word Yid I'll just stick with Four-by-two I wonder if dear Ryanair to Lyon will really be fair"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young woman from Spain Was washing her drawers in a drain She used a dead rat To cleanse stains from her twat But then had to do it again. I'm making this easy for you, So long as you don't mention ""Jew""."

[arsene york-hunt]

"To all of our loyal supporters Who do you want in the quarters? We just drawn Lyon, Voila c'est-si bon, Great for our boozers and snorters. There was a young woman from Spain Was washing her drawers in a drain"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"We've just defeated Sevilla Yarmo scored, like he did against Villa My palms they were itching My arsehole was twitching But we won in the end, what a thriller To all of our loyal supporters Who do you want in the quarters?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I visited Jaywick today A shit hole I really must say, I once went with my squeeze, And got mint sauce with peas In their chippy, I know it sounds gay . We've just defeated Sevilla Yarno scored, like he did against Villa"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Jakub from Poland at bench Pissed his shorts my god what a stench One of Warsaw's great fools As he carried his tools My god how it rusted his wrench I visited Jaywick today A shit hole I really must say

[cup of tea]

I'm wed to a girl called Louise Who simply adores my knob cheese Whether Edam or Cheddar She'll still let me spread her Whilst orgasming and shouting yes please Jakub from Poland at bench Pissed his shorts my god what a stench

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a young man from Ukraine Found on his pants a big shit stain, It wasn't a curry That produced the foul slurry But the sight of a Russian troop train I'm wed to a girl called Louise Who simply adores my knob cheese"

[arsene york-hunt]

"One late afternoon, from afar, The rise of the Evening Star, A tramp on the grass, Sat scratching his arse, Singing songs from distant Dakar. There was a young man from Ukraine Found on his pants a big shit stain,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Donald Trump, between you and me Liked girls on his face to pee As the urine came out, He started to shout, ""Oh! Yippiddee, dippiddee-dee!"" One late afternoon, from afar, The rise of the Evening Star,"

[Helmut Shown]

"I'm not saying the wife is a saint But she loves me to tickle her taint But what makes her come Is a thumb in her bum And comes hard enough to faint Donald Trump, between you and me Liked girls on his face to pee"