New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

I now spend much of my time Finding apt words that would rhyme If I find a fit For cսnt fuck and shit Poet laureate in all of my prime On Ukraine Boris has his say Hoping Partygate goes away

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"The obsession with sex on this thread, Are some people not getting head? If I picked up some stray Then i'd get my bee-jay Cos the missus is no good in bed I now spend much of my time Finding apt words that would rhyme"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"An actor in a B flick Was asked to expose his dick. He never asked ""Why?"". Just unzipped his fly. Whipped it out...put away in a tick. The obsession with sex on this thread, Are some people not getting head?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"England are looking so weary and I hate that fucker Shaqiri, The game? not top notch, I decided to watch A film starring old Wallace Beary. An actor in a B flick Was asked to expose his dick."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a young geezer called Dan, Once tried having sex with a man. When seeing his arse He decided to pass And decided he wasn't a fan England are looking so weary and I hate that fucker Shaqiri"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An old monk from outer Mongolia Drank organic because it was holier Beside all of this this, He bathed in his own piss. He wanted a life that was lowlier. There was a young geezer called Dan, Once tried having sex with a man."

[cup of tea]

"My old lady, as oft is her habit Lay in bed with her rampant rabbit It buzzed and it jumped Every day a dry hump A new version now out I'll go grab it An old monk from outer Mongolia Drank organic because it was holier"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A troubled young man from near Dover Spread his toast with butter it was Clover. He also used some, To lubricate his bum. For his boyfriend before he bent over. My old lady, as oft is her habit Lay in bed with her rampant rabbit"

[cup of tea]

"A phrase I've often heard said Is ""It's better to be dead than be red,"" It just makes no sense A stupid pretence Fuck this I'm off to my bed A troubled young man from near Dover Spread his toast with butter it was Clover"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"We have taken big scalps this season But lost to shit, what's the reason? Between you and me, Consistency, And a board that undoubtedly mean, son. A phrase I've often heard said Is ""It's better to be dead than be red,"""

[Helmut Shown]

"While strolling along the prom She took out a femidom Something was amiss When she filled it with piss And flung it with passing aplomb We have taken big scalps this season But lost to shit, what's the reason?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An old women just south of Nebraska Washed her minge in cooked baked Alaska. She prepared, it would seem For her fantasy dream To be licked out by Sunil Gavaskar. While strolling along the prom She took out a femidom"

[cup of tea]

"There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke All the brothels he perused But alas not amused Only cock on offer what a joke An old women just south of Nebraska Washed her minge in cooked baked Alaska"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, When losing the cսnt blows his top, To us, an affront This mendacious cսnt, But it goes down well on the kop. There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, When losing the cսnt blows his top, To us, an affront This mendacious cսnt, But it goes down well on the kop. There once was a frustrated bloke, Who went out looking for a poke"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Kowloon. Who ""Entertained"" men in her room. With a disgusting mime ""Me love you long time"" Easing out of a schoolgirl costume He smiles when he wins, Jurgen Klopp, when losing the cսnt blows his top"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The 90s were definitely the best Twelve hours of raving and no rest Repetitive bass, Of melody? no trace It's the sort of shit I detest. There was a young girl from Kowloon. Who ""Entertained"" men in her room."

[cup of tea]

"In days of our youth life was better, You fancied a bird you could get her. We'd spray on our Lynx To pull the said minx And go at her like a red setter The 90s were definitely the best Twelve hours of raving and no rest"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I just seen the size of my belly From beers sat in front of the telly. I could hold my guts in, Or just switch to gin, Stop drinking mate? Not on your Nelly! In days of our youth life was better, You fancied a bird you could get her."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Euphemisms for bodily parts Or pissing or shitting or farts Passing gas some will say Is the delicate way Unless it results in the sharts I just seen the size of my belly From beers sat in front of the telly

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Dunbar, Sold herself in the back of a car The windows were fogging No chance of dogging But you heard her come from afar Euphemisms for bodily parts Or pissing or shitting or farts"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A fart a pop or a grunt From my arse and not from my cսnt, Said my old aunty Gerty, Who's foul mouthed and dirty. She quite often causes affront. There was a young girl from Dunbar, Sold herself in the back of a car"

[cup of tea]

I dont want to sound like a clot But where is a woman's g-spot? It's near her fat clit Where we all like to spit The thought of this makes me all hot A fart a pop or a grunt From my arse and not from my cսnt

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A cowboy wannabe called Tex Went into Boots to buy Durex He needed the rubber For a fat, ugly scrubber He'd been better off buying some specs I dont want to sound like a clot But where is a woman's g-spot?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A very old man from Peru Done ten shits a day in his loo, By his wife was berated He became dehydrated, And died at about ten past two. A cowboy wannabe called Tex Went into Boots to buy Durex."