New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The sycophants on Match of the Day Only see Liverpool play We can just but hope No brown envelope Augments their BBC pay The media love just six teams, The rest of us? Merely have-beens"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The sycophants on Match of the Day Only see Liverpool play We can just but hope No brown envelope Augments their BBC pay The media love just six teams, The rest of us? Merely have-beens"

[Helmut Shown]

"Today Lampard junior is back, A good pasting and he'll get the sack. As a manager, Fat Frank He ain't worth a wank Soon he'll be having to pack The sycophants on Match of the Day Only see Liverpool play"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Roy Hodgson's maniacal grin Lights on but nobody in, but ugliest I'd state Not Gareth Southgate, But Klopp of the dippers in bin. Today Lampard junior is back, A good pasting and he'll get the sack."

[Helmut Shown]

Hey Mods! Can you ban this right lout? He says nasty things - kick him out The posters from the right Talk a load of old shite On things they know nothing about Roy Hodgson's maniacal grin Lights on but nobody in

[Mike Oxsaw]

This isn't that tricky I say Its AA then BB then A What happened to C? Then D and then E? Nah! Go straight to Z any day. Hey Mods! Can you ban this right lout? He says nasty things - kick him out!

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A trainspotter standing at Crewe Was desperate to have a poo He tightened his arse And prayed it would pass Unfortunately it didn't pee-yew! This isn't that tricky I say Its AA then BB then A

[arsene york-hunt]

"These verses aren't that hard to rhyme, Some thought and a little more time, Consider the metre, The rhymes will be sweeter. Your Limerick will be sublime. A trainspotter standing at Crewe Was desperate to have a poo"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The renaissance of this thread Often leaves me scratching my head. So fuck poetry, It's all about ME! Remember what I have just said. These verses aren't that hard to rhyme, Some thought and a little more time"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think James Martin's a turd He says ""really"" ev'ry other word.. I don't like the tit The recipes are shit. Cheese custard with lemon curd? The renaissance of this thread Often leaves me scratching my head."

[Helmut Shown]

"So many who think they are clever Wonder why people call them a Trevor Like those Mastermind chaps Or Brooking perhaps Or Morse in that series Endeavour I think James Martin's a turd He says ""really"" ev'ry other word"

[Side of Ham]

"A man from just south of Djibouti Chewed on gum it was tutti frutti When the flavour was lost, It came at a cost As some bore will now try to replace it So many who think they are clever Wonder why people call them a Trevor"

[cup of tea]

A postman from north Milton Keynes Was eating a big can of beans He finished his delight And got an awfully big fright He farted and shit in his jeans A man from just south of Djibouti Chewed on gum it was tutti frutti

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Popular shows on the TV, Dumbed down to a shocking degree You won't catch the pox From ditching the box And you'll save on the old licence fee. A postman from north Milton Keynes Was eating a big can of beans"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Paddy McGuinness bloke As presenter not worth a poke, His stupid accent, It makes one lament Hughie Green would be having a stroke. Popular shows on the TV, Dumbed down to a shocking degree"

[Helmut Shown]

"I got my last girl off e-Bay, Now please will you take her away? She started as a whore But now she's a bore Ill go out and pick up some stray These Liverpool types? all the same, They never accept any blame Fed up with their lies About killing Eyeties And putting the police in the frame That Paddy McGuinness bloke As presenter not worth a poke"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Thieving and lying the scouse Would you trust them to stay in your house? Beside being a thief He will wallow in grief A bounder, a cad and a louse. These Liverpool types? all the same, They never accept any blame"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Helmut Shown 4:12 Fri Apr 1 ""Cover"" would probably have worked... Thieving and lying the scouse Would you trust them to stay in your house? Just lock up your bins To limit their sins And dine them on pheasant & grouse. I got my last girl off e-Bay, Now please will you take her away?"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a craft that could hover The crossing from Calais to Dover But its skirt came apart Made a sound like a fart Both customer and crew were in bovver* *sorry the only rhyme i could find Thieving and lying the scouse Would you trust them to stay in your house?

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a poet called Eric, Who's rhymes were somewhat Isosteric. They didn't scan well, But no one could tell, All ending with something like ""Berwick"". There once was a craft that could hover The crossing from Calais to Dover"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty bird from the Azores Like sex while on her all fours, But a dirty old chap' Then gave her the clap Her front bum's now covered with sores. There once was a poet called Eric, Who's rhymes were somewhat Isosteric."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She boxed to get herself fit But left when punched in the tit And whilst on the mat A kick in the twat She didn't like it one bit A dirty bird from the Azores Like sex while on her all fours

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She boxed to get herself fit But left when punched in the tit And whilst on the mat A kick in the twat She didn't like it one bit A dirty bird from the Azores Like sex while on her all fours

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Crete, Had a fetish for old ladies feet Twixt her toes he would wedge His meat and two veg Alas he caught athlete's meat She boxed to get herself fit But left when punched in the tit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On Naked Attraction he stood Ashamed of his small manhood He ran to the crapper When turned down by the slapper Deprived of giving her his wood. There was a young man from c=Crete, Had a fetish for old ladies feet."