New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"It seems every player we scout We look at and then we pull out Now we're into June If we don't move soon Relegation, we'll be in with a shout"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I know it's a bad picture to paint But I've a boil right here on my taint, Nio use telling me I don't wish to see So speak to a doc, which I aint. In the rush hour an ill mannered swine. Dropped his guts on the Jubilee line"

[Helmut Shown]

I know it's a bad picture to paint But I've got a boil right here on my taint It burst on the bus Now I'm covered in pus And I'm beginning to feel a bit faint It seems every player we scout We look at and then we pull out

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I once knew a tiresome bloke Was trying to be very woke. It hurt him, you see To become so PC As it left him with only one joke I know it's a bad picture to paint But I've got a boil right here on my taint"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My ""local"" Conservative MP Is someone you 'll not likely see in the local gay bar, As he stays in his car, Awaiting leavers who look free. I once knew a tiresome bloke Was trying to be very woke."

[Helmut Shown]

"A dirty old man in the woods Would flash all the women his good As he bade them ""Afternoon!"" Young girls would swoon And offer their maidenhoods My ""local"" Conservative MP Is someone you 'll not likely see"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a young fellow from Brent Whose dick was exceedingly bent But the thing that was peeving Was when he was relieving He'd piss in his eye when he went A dirty old man in the woods Would flash all the women his goods

[arsene york-hunt]

"The behaviour of Mikel Arteta You'd think at his age he'd know better Too much argy-bargy, From this odious Argie His antics the FA should fetter. There was a young fellow from Brent Whose dick was exceedingly bent."

[Helmut Shown]

"Sky Sports, ITV. BBC. An anti-non scouse coterie Chances won't pass To get stuck up Klopp's arse So only their toes you can see The behaviour of Mikel Arteta You'd think at his age he'd know better"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our media is blind to this scum They whine and talk from their bum, It is always the same Not given the blame, Will their comeupance ever come? Sky Sports, ITV. BBC. An anti-non scouse coterie"

[Helmut Shown]

"Us West Ham fans we can hope we sign our next keeper, Nick Pope Its not the goalkeeper Who needs the grim reaper Its Cresswell, the one footed dope Our media is blind to this scum They whine and talk from their bum"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Nothing would cause such a rift As dropping a fart in a lift But if it should brew And you then follow through 'It might be a shart that they whiffed Us West Ham fans we can hope we sign our next keeper, Nick Pope"

[Helmut Shown]

A camel toe glimpse is so fine When leggings function sublime There's are many emergences Of seams splitting differences Leaving a vaginal outline Nothing would cause such a rift As dropping a fart in a lift

[BRANDED]

It was said that composer Schubert. Was partial to plenty of skirt He liked to C minor Girls and eye liner And tits that were ample and pert A camel toe glimpse is so fine When leggings function sublime

[arsene york-hunt]

"Once more this murderous horde Have disgraced the British abroad, This fucking scouse mess, Is ignored by the pres Their antics they seem to applaud. It was said that composer Schubert. Was partial to plenty of skirt"

[Helmut Shown]

"29 years and still bunking in Thank fuck the cunts didn't win Once more they complain As the french police constrain This rabble, teargas? should have been ricin Once more this murderous horde Have disgraced the British abroad"

[Helmut Shown]

"29 years and still bunking in Thank fuck the cunts didn't win Once more they complain As the french police constrain This rabble, teargas? should have been ricin Once more this murderous horde Have disgraced the British abroad"

[arsene york-hunt]

**WIN

[arsene york-hunt]

"The scouse embarrassed us in Paris They all need a kick up the 'arris Not their fault they say. It was ever that way, This country again they embarass. 29 year sand still bunking in Thank fuck the cunts didn't will."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"As a result of having a flutter. I'm borassic, sat in the gutter I was once quite rich But am now in this ditch Eating marmite and peanut butter The scouse embarrassed us in Paris They all need a kick up the 'arris"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It was something he couldn’t resist As he laid there having one off the wrist Pants round his thgh, his shirt pulled up high In a church service, Must have been pissed. As a result of having a flutter. I'm borassic, sat in the gutter,"

[Helmut Shown]

A zoo keeper from darkest Peru Used to scare animals with a 'BOO' They found him stone dead Up to his head In a big pile of elephant poo It was something he couldn’t resist As he laid there having one off the wrist

[cup of tea]

A narcissist German called Fritz Was shaving his pubes and his pits. The fun didn't last The hair loss was vast So he decided to squeeze all his zits A zoo keeper from darkest Peru Used to scare animals with a 'BOO'

[arsene york-hunt]

"Looking to strengthen the attack For fuck's sake we need a left back, Not just one but two, Nothing less will do, The incumbents seem to be on crack.. A narcissist German called Fritz Was shaving his pubes and his pits."

[Helmut Shown]

Oops This rumour that I've heard espouse 'Bout making a deal for Ward-Prowse His dead ball prowess Much better than Cress Who plays like a big girl's blouse looking to strengthen the attack For fuck's sake we need a left back