New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady from Pakistan, Could just not resist any man Her punters rejoiced She was permanently moist As she laid in the back of a van There was a young lady called Babs Had a serious case of the crabs"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Torquay Who'd hawk out his arse for a fee Well known among gays, He works nights or days And gives free lubes of KY Jelly. Birmingham has an accent so shit That scousers sound better than it Their endless droning It's just like they're moaning, Sounding like the village fuckwit A young lady from Pakistan, Could just not resist any man."

[BRANDED]

In the rush hour an ill mannered swine. Dropped his guts on the Jubilee line Those that gave a fuck Started a ruck Until the rude cսnt was supine Birmingham has an accent so shit That scousers sound better than it

[Helmut Shown]

"A bindipper from Liverpool, Noticed funny things in his stool They examined his crap And found he had clap And a fucking big sore on his tool There was a young man from Torquay Who'd hawk out his arse for a fee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A ballerina who came from St. Kitts Got stuck after doing the splits, She got stuck to the floor, Now her fanny's red raw And worse, she can't contain her shits. A bindipper from Liverpool, Noticed funny things in his stool"

[Helmut Shown]

So the transfer window is now open And here we are frantically hoping A couple on a free Is the best we will see And leave Moyes to do the soft soaping A ballerina who came from St. Kitts Got stuck after doing the splits

[cosmo smallpiece]

There once was a man from near Froome Who hid in the girls changing room For a mischievous peek At perhaps a bum cheek Unaware he’d been captured on Zoom So the transfer window is now open And here we are frantically hoping

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Rwanda He was caught making love to a panda, From the bars in the zoo, 'Twas a rare sight to view. And people rushed there for a gander. There once was a man from near Froome Who hid in the girls changing room"

[Helmut Shown]

"Now Bowen, he had a good game And Grealish for once did the same But Harry McGuire Did little to admire He should hang his fat head in shame There was a young man from Rwanda He was caught making love to a panda"

[Alwaysaniron]

"Who for Boris's job will you back? The chancellor Rishi Sunak? My vote,if I could Would be for Tobias Elwood But first Boris will need to be sacked. Now Bowen, he had a good game And Grealish for once did the same"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Big Breakfast returns to TV But Chris or Denise we won’t see, The hosts of this shite? They will not be white To show their inclusivity. Who for Boris's job will you back? The chancellor Rishi Sunak?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Big Breakfast returns to TV But Chris or Denise we won’t see, The hosts of this shite? They will not be white To show their inclusivity. Who for Boris's job will you back? The chancellor Rishi Sunak?"

[Helmut Shown]

The trouble with Westhamonline Is that the contributors are not very refined our punters are finding Too much effing and blinding But we enjoy crossing the line The Big Breakfast returns to TV But Chris or Denise we won’t see

[BillyJenningsBoots]

The bitching that goes on in this site Makes Parliament seem reasonably all right Vexed likes to tease Darlo Deb to her knees But talks a right load of shite The trouble with Westhamonline Is that the contributors are not very refined

[Alwaysaniron]

The Tories don’t give a fuck They’ve lumbered us with a dead duck But he's now played all his cards The posh lump of lard Let's hope that he run out of luck. The bitching that goes on in this site Makes Parliament seem reasonably all right

[Helmut Shown]

Instead of making crazy offers The dildos need to open the coffers But in 2023 He’ll cash out you’ll see When resigning letter he proffers The Tories don’t give a fuck They’ve lumbered us with a dead duck

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

In the St Paul's Jubilee prelude Bojo was resoundingly booed I think to be blunt The bloke is a cսnt But booing is particularly rude Instead of making crazy offers The dildos need to open the coffers

[Helmut Shown]

"A perverted chappie called Pete Was worrying dogs in the street As he got on his knees To a yappy Bichon Frise It turned, sunk his teeth in his meat In the St Paul's Jubilee prelude Bojo was resoundingly booed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An elderly whore called Marge Only accepted cocks that were large She charged by the inch, And never would flinch, While plying her trade on a barge. A perverted chappie called Pete Was worrying dogs dogs in the street"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

George Michael flashed his knob and his teeth In a khasi over Hampstead Heath approaching a stall On the floor he would sprawl and poke his cock underneath An elderly whore called Marge Only accepted cocks that were large

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

George Michael flashed his knob and his teeth In a khasi over Hampstead Heath approaching a stall On the floor he would sprawl and poke his cock underneath An elderly whore called Marge Only accepted cocks that were large

[arsene york-hunt]

"As a royalist I really must say The Queen was looking lovely today, There's nothing sillier Than Gerontophilia, Next to fucking stiffs you will stray. George Michael flashed his knob and his teeth In a khasi over Hampdtead Heath"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

An interesting royal response Finding out Prince Andrew was a nonce When asked if he sweated His response he regretted And put on a fake nonchalance As a royalist I really must say The Queen was looking lovely today

[Helmut Shown]

In the rush hour an ill mannered swine. Dropped his guts on the Jubilee line These uncouth spanners With a lack of good manners As the nation goes in to decline An interesting royal response Finding out Prince Andrew was a nonce

[arsene york-hunt]

In the rush hour an ill mannered swine. Dropped his guts on the Jubilee line