New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

I'm afraid all this politics bores We need more about perverts and whores But you'll get your fix Within politics With Bojo and his Tory boors A young man from South Vietnam On a sex tour of old Amsterdam

[arsene york-hunt]

"He's running short of Brexit MPs And none with the expertise, The Etonian cսnt, Has still got the front And he carries* on with the sleaze. I'm afraid all this politics bores We need more about perverts and whores"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He's running short of Brexit MPs And none with the expertise, The Etonian cսnt, Has still got the front And he carrys on with the sleaze. I'm afraid all this politics bores We need more about perverts and whores"

[Helmut Shown]

"So, Boris will never step down, Despite being found out a clown He's had to submit to all sorts of shit By now he's completely brown He's running short of Brexit MPs And none with the expertise"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Dawn Butler's fat and ugly too, A racist shit stirrer, It's true When she gets the top slot, She'll give her b'loon knot To all that have fondness for poo. So, Boris will never step down, Despite being found out a clown"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The rats are deserting the ship This seems much more than a blip There's really not much choice, For the moderate voice, Polling day? Save yourself the trip. Dawn Butler's fat and ugly too, A racist shit stirrer, It's true"

[Helmut Shown]

"If Starmer goes cos of ""Beergate"". In the wings the looney left wait He'll be true to his word Unlike Boris (the turd) We'll have Lammy and his racist white hate The rats are deserting the ship This seems much more than a blio"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Boris just won't apologise He sends a minion to tell lies, Who said ""'twas not me- Maybe it was Rishi."" Who ate all the Downing Street pies. If Starmer goes cos of ""Beergate"". In the wings the looney left wait"

[Helmut Shown]

Her name was apparently Chloe So I asked her how much for a blowie I won't go on my knees Its starting to freeze And the weather outlook is snowy Boris just won't apologise He sends a minion to tell lies

[arsene york-hunt]

"I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight Through the window I saw, A low quality whore, Touting for trade for the night. Her name was apparently Chloe So I asked her how much for a blowie"

[cosmo smallpiece]

Oops☺️

[cosmo smallpiece]

Oops☺️

[cosmo smallpiece]

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

[cosmo smallpiece]

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

[cosmo smallpiece]

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

[cosmo smallpiece]

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch And part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though he always insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

[cosmo smallpiece]

A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch Always part of the deal Is a good slap-up meal Though the pervie insists they go dutch I was watching the telly last night When in the corner of my line of sight

[Helmut Shown]

"Russia has now has improved it's position, It's an old fashioned war of attrition But the publicity whore Says it isn't a war But a special military mission I don't want to sound like a prick, But you finished the wrong Limerick During the rhyme I lost sense of time I must have been pulling my dick A Tory MP likes to touch Other men's bums and their crotch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"If you don't mind not getting far You can buy an electric car, Now you've mentionrd that, My battery's flat In the hard shoulder near Potters Bar. I don't want to sound like a prick, But you finished the wrong Limerick"

[Helmut Shown]

"The doctor says, ""For my ills"" ""I need about forty-eight pills"" As we get to this age Near the end of our page Its time to be writing our wills If you don't mind not getting far You can buy an electric car"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The doctor says, ""For my ills"" ""I need about forty-eight pills"" Plus a suposit'ry, Which means learning for me, A completely new set of skills. Russia has now has improved it's position, It's an old fashioned war of attrition"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I was shocked to find my old man, In bed with the local Imam. Along with a goat, Four pigs and a stoat, And a tramp who we all know as ""Stan"". The doctor says, ""For my ills"" ""I need about forty-eight pills"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"A monk, a devout Buddhist Decided to have one off the wrist, His big phallic rise, Took him by surprise, For a bloke who had never been kissed I was shocked to find my old man, In bed with the local Imam"

[Helmut Shown]

"An old sheep farmer from Devon Had thought he'd arrived in heaven In his barn the man saw A stark naked whore But alas she was only eleven A monk, a devout Buddhist Decided to have one off the wrist"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Why make these limericks hard? None of us match The Bard. To be or not to be, That's the question, you see. Will my next attempt, be ill starrred? An old sheep farmer from Devon Had thought he'd arrived in heaven"