New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"No points and we've got fuck all goals A swiss cheese, defence full of holes We may hit a trough Then Moyes will fuck off To retire and start playing bowls. While walking the banks of the Trent I saw two blokes patently bent"

[Helmut Shown]

"Maid Marian said to Robin Hood, A blow job? I definitely would Something arose In his doublet and hose ""It really beats pulling your pud"" No points and we've got fuckall goals Like a swiss cheese, defence full of holes"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He said ""It's enormous, my willie!"" But everyone else thought it silly He said ""Bigger than yours,"" Then he dropped his drawers, Which were very bright pink and frilly. Maid Marian said to Robin Hood, A blow job? I definitely would"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I don't like what's happened a bit Keep losing to teams that are shit Our very slow start, Is like a wet fart Unwelcome, but best out with it. He said ""It's enormous, my willie!"" But everyone else thought it silly"

[arsene york-hunt]

"To watch our team is not nice Back to the days of Allardyce, They play the long ball, Achieving fuck all, We'll probably lose Declan Rice, I don't like whats happened a bit Keep losing to teams that are shit"

[Helmut Shown]

"The Conference Cup is so lame, We should be throwing the next game Our tactics sussed out Our points total nowt And not a goal to our name To watch our team is not nice Back to the days of Allardyce"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think it might be worth a mention, But some posters just seek attention. Some can't be engaged, As they're always enraged, It's all caused by water retention. The Conference Cup is so lame, We should be throwing the next game."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young girl from Torquay Loved sex but charged a small fee For a few pennies more, She'd go four on the floor, Down on the beach, by the sea I think it might be worth a mention, But some posters just seek attention."

[Helmut Shown]

"Ignored a pikey, due to weather, Should I have bought the lucky heather. West Ham’s gyppo curse You’ve made it much worse It’s buggered our form altogethe There was a young girl from Torquay Loved sex but charged a small fee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"When they WIN all will see Klopp smile When they lose he is spitting bile, Scousitis he's caught, It's never our fault, Lose graciously? Just not his style. Ignored a pikey, due to weather, Should I have bought the lucky heather."

[Helmut Shown]

"It's there if you want any proof, That scousers are really uncouth They're unwashed, they stink And they piss in the sink And have obvious problems with truth When they lose all will see Klopp smile When they lose he is spitting bile"

[arsene york-hunt]

"When will the police do their jobs And arrest those boy racer knobs Those that most trouble you? Cunts in a BMW I'd like to kick them in their gobs. It's there if you want any proof, That scousers are realy uncouth"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's not monkeys what give you the pox, It's the wearing of sandals with socks. It kills the girl's passion But in Germany it's fashion For gays hanging around the docks When will the police do their jobs And arrest those boy racer knobs"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The Conti and Tuchel win double After Sunday should be in trouble If all goes to plan, A fine and a ban, A prick for their big-club style bubble. It's not monkeys what give you the pox, It's the wearing of sandals with socks."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The Conti and Tuchel win double After Sunday should be in trouble If all goes to plan, A fine and a ban, A prick for their big-club style bubble. It's not monkeys what give you the pox, It's the wearing of sandals with socks."

[Helmut Shown]

"A lifter of shirts from Chippenham Wore tight shorts, thought he'd look hip in 'em. But his bum chum came round His arsehole to pound He put a fucking big rip in them The Conti and Tuchel win double After Sunday should be in trouble"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm starting a petition to the Queen To see that they sack Mike Dean, If I met that cսnt, He would bear the brunt, Of my expletives crude and obscene. Will Putin supporters please rise And show us the whites of your eyes. You're a fucking disgrace And I'll piss in your face Sit down while I open my flies. A lifter of shirts from Chippenham Wore tight shorts, thought he'd look hip in 'em."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Sky wanked themselves silly I'd say. They wanted us beat yesterday The season starts slow, But ""Go, Moysie! Go!""? Have all our supporters caught gay? Will Putin supporters please rise And show us the whites of your eyes."

[Helmut Shown]

Sky wanked themselves silly I'd say. They wanted us beat yesterday On so many fronts Ex Tottenham cunts All under Levy's pay I'm starting a petition to the Queen To see that they sack Mike Dean

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whats the betting when Man U we play They come into form that day, And Mike Dean will star Helping them with the VAR, Dooming us to further decay. Sky wanked themselves silly I'd say. They wanted us beat yesterday"

[Helmut Shown]

"The religion of ""peace"" strikes again Islamists are fucking insane They're all only fit To be buried in pig shit Or flushed down the dirtiest drain Whats the betting when Man U we play They come into form that day"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So, everyone moans like a cսnt But puts no solutions up front, Illegal migration, Gas bills and inflation, Joe Public will just bear the brunt. The religion of ""peace"" strikes again Islamists are fucking insane."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I can't see why there's all the fuss ' Bout that skinny little fascist Liz Truss. One thing in her favour: She's not New or Old Labour Which accounts for the bile & the pus So, everyone moans like a cսnt But puts no solutions up front"

[Helmut Shown]

"The skinny wife of Rishi Sunak, I've heard is no good in the sack She'd get binned in a hurry Her cսnt smells of curry And i wouldn't touch the hole at the back I can't see why there's all the fuss ' Bout that skinny little fascist Liz Truss"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Truss or Sunak, what a choice! Neither would make me rejoice, Toffs, bosses to the right, And the leftist woke shite, Us normal types don't have a voice. The skinny wife of Rishi Sunak, I've heard is no good in the sack."