New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"The boreathon Strictly Come Dancing She likes to see the poofs prancing The TV these days, Is strictly for gays At it us blokes shouldn't be glancing. A bloke from Virginia Water, Had interfered with his step daughter."

[Helmut Shown]

I want a rhyme about football I'm afraid I can think of fuck all. 'bout West Ham wax lyrical But it sounds quite satirical When we can't hold on to the ball The boreathon Strictly Come Dancing She likes to see the poofs prancing

[arsene york-hunt]

"The government's in a right mess, The oppo I like even less. Neither will get my vote, They both stick in my throat, Fuck politics, it's a wankfest. I want a rhyme about football I'm afraid I can think of fuck all."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"While once at a royal garden party His bum was a little bit farty So, to cover the whiff, He sparked up a spliff And claimed he'd once met Russel Harty. The government's in a right mess, The oppo I like even less."

[Helmut Shown]

Jason King to the toilets did go. When in Cheltenham bus depot With a gay man communing charged with importuning For giving an impromptu peep show While once at a royal garden party His bum was a little bit farty

[arsene york-hunt]

"It seems, on another thread, Some can't tell the live from the dead. Her Majesty the Queen, Will no longer be seen And nor will my old Uncle Fred Jason King to the toilets did go. When in Cheltenham bus depot"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Germany it seems the fashion For men to sit down while they're slashing For me it's quite neat - No piss on the seat Can read a book while it's all splashing. It seems, on another thread, Some can't tell the live from the dead."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young Tamil girl in Sri lanka, Asked her next door neighbour to spank 'er You could hear concerned yells As he knocked seven bells From her arse, the sadistic wanker In Germany it seems the fashion For men to sit down while they're slashing"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've got to say sorry for Putin, So you may as well just stick the boot in. You may tell me I'm dim. But I'm sure I saw him, In a massage and sauna in Tooting. A young Tamil girl in Sri lanka, Asked her next door neighbour to spank 'er"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A girl from our vicinity Tried to lose her virginity But it just wouldn't snap. All she got was the clap And the nickname of ""Mary Divinity"". I've got to say sorry for Putin, So you may as well just stick the boot in."

[arsene york-hunt]

"As she took up the doggy pose He'd a waft of shit under his nose His knob's diserection A loud interjection ""Fuck me what a pen: stone the crows!"" A girl from our vicinity Tried to lose her virginity"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Japan, Arrested for shagging his nan. The trial judge expressed He'd do time for incest He obviously wasn't a fan As she took up the doggy pose He'd a waft of shit under his nose"

[arsene york-hunt]

"When giving your forelock a tug, The rich mark you out as a mug, Deference you see, To men of pedigree, Is required from the oik and the thug. There was a young man from Japan, Arrested for shagging his nan."

[arsene york-hunt]

"When giving your forelock a tug, The rich mark you out as a mug, Deference you see, To men of pedigree, Is required from the oik and the thug. There was a young man from Japan, Arrested for shagging his nan."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The bankers have burst her bubble Liz Truss left the country in trouble We'll pick up the bill, As we always will, While our debts and our deficits double. When giving your forelock a tug, The rich mark you out as a mug"

[Helmut Shown]

"Conservatives voting for Truss, Have fucked up the country for us The rich will get richer But they will soon ditch her When she becomes superfluous The bankers have burst her bubble Liz Truss left the country in trouble"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The chancellor of the exchequer Was sitting pulling his pecker, Watching porn on a screen, With his wanking machine, Made from his cordless Black and Decker. Conservatives voting for Truss, Have fucked up the country for us"

[Helmut Shown]

My Chalfonts are moaning again I think they will drive me insane. To the doctors I oughter As my piles touch the water And there's blood when I'm pulling the chain The chancellor of the exchequer Was sitting pulling his pecker

[Mike Oxsaw]

"My aunt on the fam'ly's brought shame, To pay bills she's gone on the game. At seventy-five, She's barely alive, But charges top rates, all the same. My Chalfonts are moaning again I think the will drive me insane."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our season has not really started, Like string (trying?) to shit, but just farted. Playing rubbish so far, And cheated by Var Will the club and manager be parted? My aunt on the fam'ly's brought shame, To pay bills she's gone on the game."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"No sooner's the season's begun, It's a break for international ""fun."" No one really cares, It's for suits, them and theirs It don't matter how it is spun. Our season has not really started, Like string to shit, but just farted."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Kane shoots when he gets the ball The end product we get? Bugger all. But brush past his thigh. He goes up in the sky, And he'll dive, and he'll writhe and he'll sprawl. No sooner's the season's begun, It's a break for internationl ""fun."""

[Helmut Shown]

That useless cսnt Harry McGuire Has dropped his team mates in the mire His form is askew But plays for Man U And forms a win double with Dier Kane shoots when he gets the ball The end product we get? Bugger all

[arsene york-hunt]

"Her skirt was just caught in the breeze, Which raised it above her knees. Drawers she'd not got'em Exposed her front bottom. Which seemed to attract lots of fleas. That useless cսnt Harry McGuire Has dropped his team mates in the mire"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young geezer called Tony Went behind a bush for a pony. But he got the right hump, Just a fart but no dump, His need to vacate was just phoney. Her skirt was just caught in the breeze, Which raised it above her knees."