New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an young man from near Poole, Took pleasure exposing his tool For flashing his cock He's now in the dock Indecent exposure, the fool There was a young man from Vancouver Was caught with his knob in a hoover"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was an young man from near Poole, Took pleasure exposing his tool For flashing his cock He's now in the dock Indecent exposure, the fool There was a young man from Vancouver Was caught with his knob in a hoover"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Neymar is not very happy Second fiddle to Kylian Mbappé, Then we have Mason Mount, But he doesn't count, Because his football's so crappy. There was an young man from near Poole, Took pleasure exposing his tool"

[Helmut Shown]

"The monster we all know as Nessie, Is in fact, a bit of a Jessie It’s meandering and slow And for those in the know He’s just like our very own Cressy Neymar is not very happy Second fiddle to Kylian Mbappé"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's said that the man in the moon, Can knock out a pretty good tune. That's his stage name He's in The Army Game, His real name was actor Ted Loon. The monster we all know as Nessie, Is in fact, a bit of a Jessie."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Now I'm feeling just like a louse, Cheering goals by a spud and a scouse. And...furthermore, Declan's yet to score, Until then I'll mope round the house. It's said that the man in the moon, Can knock out a pretty good tune."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Elegantly eating petit fours Who'd know she was wearing no drawers. But her bloke smelled bad fish, Which put him off his dish, The last time to the Ritz he'll take whores. Now I'm feeling just like a louse, Cheering goals by a spud and a scouse."

[Helmut Shown]

"Putin's losing ground in the fight, So bombs civilians out of spite His ego is huge This mafia stooge This man, on the world is a blight Elegantly eating petit fours Who'd know she was wearing no drawers"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think it is really quite plain That the big Yankee actor, John Wayne His war service? Zero, But acted as a hero, So they've gave him medals, Insane! Putin's losing ground in the fight, So bombs civilialns out of spite."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I hope another nation defeats These diving Portuguese cheats But they all love their mum, And a fair bit of bum, Which leaves some skid marks on their seats. I think it is really quite plain That the big Yankee actor, John Wayne"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that the actor Brad Pitt, For hours on the khazi would sit You'd think constipation Or sly masturbation Or squeezing a very hard shit I hope another nation defeats These diving Portuguese cheats"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I don‚Äôt think I‚Äôm being too blunt Matt Hancock in the jungle‚Äôs an affront, This doesn't amuse, Just another ruse, To get me to end this with cսnt. Oh Bollocks!! It's said that the actor Brad Pitt, For hours on the karsey would sit"

[Helmut Shown]

"Michael Jackson liked plying with booze, All of the youngsters he'd use But if they took him to court The lawyers he’d bought Would make sure the poor bastards lose I don’t think I’m being too blunt Matt Hancock in the jungle’s an affront"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I don't want you all to get bitter, But he's due for release, Gary Glitter. Is he really that bad, This chappie Paul Gadd, I'll post a welcome back on twitter. or This fucking pervert Likes underaged skirt He needs something hard up his shitter. You choose Michael Jackson liked plying with booze, All of the youngsters he'd use"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The ref sent to the screen, to act. When offside is a matter of FACT. I've tried very hard, But I'm clearly no Bard, If I was, I'd surely get sacked. I don't want you all to get bitter, But he's due for release, Gary Glitter."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Portuguese football still thrives With a lot of play acting and dives Ronaldo for a start, Is a petulant tart, As cheating the the ref he contrives. The ref sent to the sceen, to act. When offside is a matter of FACT."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Portuguese football still thrives With a lot of play acting and dives Ronaldo for a start, Is a petulant tart, As cheating the the ref he contrives. The ref sent to the sceen, to act. When offside is a matter of FACT."

[Helmut Shown]

A man I know who sells elastic Said in bed his bird is fantastic He likes making her come With his dick up her bum Or a vibrating cock made of plastic Portuguese football still thrives With a lot of play acting and dives

[arsene york-hunt]

"The poker didnt go as planned So the leper threw in his hand, It's these kind of jokes Popular with blokes But with those woke wankers are banned. A man I know who sells elastic Said in bed his bird is fantastic"

[Helmut Shown]

"Wars, famines, disasters, islamites. But lets concentrate on gay rights. Tatchell at the front Australian cսnt In conflicts, this arsehole delights The poker didnt go as planned So the leper threw in his hand"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There's some things I just can't abide, Like pundits who're there for the ride. These ""experts"", apall They should work for fuck all Especially Souness, fucking snide. Wars, famines, disasters, islamites. But lets concentrate on gay rights."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"ITV's ""expert"" opinion you'll get more sense from a Minion By employing hot foxes They tick a few boxes And also earn quite a few million. There's some things I just can't abide, Like pundits who're there for the ride."

[Helmut Shown]

"The ex West Ham player Diop, Got racial abuse from the kop But their diving cheat Can't stay on his feet They cheer at his theatrical drop ITV's ""expert"" opinion you'll get more sense from a Minion"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will we improve after the World Cup Or decide that Moyes's time is up Or maybe I'll clean My coffee machine, A Nespresso, imported from Krupp. The ex West Ham player Diop, Got racial abuse from the kop"

[Helmut Shown]

"To claim MSM can be trusted, Is like having a flush that is busted. Mostly owned by the right Talking dog shite It leaves you fucking disgusted Will we improve after the World Cup Or decide that Moyes's time is up"