New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will Griezmann play well and dispatch Two stars and become man of match Meanwhile Harry Kane Has his head hung in shame, With a face like a prostitute's snatch. An activist from Sasquehanna, At a demo he held banner"

[,]

"A young man from Montélimar, Soiled himself when he crashed his car He sat, discontented In the town where invented The confection now known as nougat Will Griezmann play well and dispatch Two stars and become man of match"

[northbanker]

"There was a young girl from Saigon Ordered sex aids from Amazon, She took a dildo, to herself, down below With one thrust, her hymen was gone. A young man from Montélimar, Soiled himself when he crashed his car"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a man from Pakistan, Wanted to try sex with a man Virginity lost But it came with a cost Just look at the mess down the pan There was a young girl from Saigon Ordered sex aids from Amazon"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A fan from near Marrakesh Had never been out. For a sesh He had nothing to lose So he took drugs and booze, And succumbed to the sins of the flesh. There was a man from Pakistan, Wanted to try sex with a man."

[,]

There was a young man from Darjeeling He found that his scrotum was peeling He saw his guru And was told what to do Hang upside down from the ceiling A fan from near Marrakesh Had never been out. For a sesh

[Helmut Shown]

"If you hope this verse is 'bout you, Then clearly you haven't a clue But i can't resist I'm a narcissist Perhaps erect a statue? There was a young man from Darjeeling He found that his scrotum was peeling"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Scottish woman named Molly Died while squeezing out a tolly. Yet no one knows why She decided to try To curl it on top of her brolly. If you hope this verse is 'bout you, Then clearly you haven't a clue."

[arsene york-hunt]

"While exercising, doing his bit He went out and trod in some shit, So this useless berk, Did not go to work, He rang in, said he was unfit. A Scottish woman named Molly Died while squeezing out a tolly.."

[Helmut Shown]

"Will it be today that we Get knocked out by Les Grenouilles* No champions to anoint Fate bound to disappoint All on a missed penal-ty While exercising, doing his bit He went out and trod in some shit"

[arsene york-hunt]

Will it be today that we Get knocked out by Les Grenouilles*

[arsene york-hunt]

"An absolute dead certainty, Is that people from north of Dundee. Are generally drunk, And their private parts shrunk Nothing under their kilts, d'ya see. Will it be today that we We get knocked out by Les Grenouilles* (*Grenwee)"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"On Metformin they made me start Side effects? it makes me fart. Please. No naked flames While the problem remains And wind keeps my bum cheeks apart. An absolute dead certainty, Is that people from north of Dundee"

[Helmut Shown]

"Christmas cards now won't arrive on time, I don't send them so with me that's fine Bah humbug I hear No Yuletide cheer Pass me a clementine! On Metformin they made me start Side effects? it makes me fart"

[arsene york-hunt]

"This Christmas will be a right pain To go to & fro on the train. So we have to hitch hike, Or buy an e-bike, And get soaked when it's pissing rain. Christmas cards now won't arrive on time, I don't send them so with me that's fine"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Just seen some of the Putin thread, But only abuse have I read. A few have the front To call him a cսnt And claim it by only them said. This Christmas will be a right pain To go to & fro on the train."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl was always insisting She'd only cum with a fisting, When he pulled his fist down, It was smelly and brown, He should have tried harder resisting. Just seen some of the Putin thread, But only abuse have I read"

[Helmut Shown]

Next window will we buy a striker More use than a fat tattooed biker Maybe a kraut Who isn't burnt out Or an up and coming oestereicher A young girl was always insisting She'd only cum with a fisting

[,]

"On the train that has pulled out of Norwich, For breakfast they're serving me porridge The train’s going south and I’ve just burnt my mouth Hope it’s better when I reach my college Next window will we buy a striker More use than a fat tattooed biker"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A jewess from near Golders Green, In bed once was flicking her bean A Rabbi burst in And screamed ""That's a Sin!!!"" Now give me some head, you old queen. On the train that has pulled out of Norwich, For breakfast they're serving me porridge."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A jewess from near Golders Green, In bed once was flicking her bean A Rabbi burst in And screamed ""That's a Sin!!!"" Now give me some head, you old queen. On the train that has pulled out of Norwich, For breakfast they're serving me porridge."

[arsene york-hunt]

"We actually won 4 - 2 4 - 2 at Cambridge I see They’re at the foot of tier 3, Our form's in collapse But don't panic chaps, But we're doomed, between you and me. A jewess from near Golders Green, In bed once was flicking her bean"

[Helmut Shown]

"An anagram known as Lone Skum Paid too much for Twitter, quite rum In my view, Twitter Should be flushed down the shitter these self centred poseurs leave me numb 4 - 2 to Cambridge I see They’re at the foot of tier 3"

[,]

"Back in the day, I am told, That women were never so bold. They had no rights Never wore tights And always put up with the cold An anagram known as Lone Skum Paid too much for Twitter, quite rum"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man from Vancouver Was caught with his knob in a hoover His dad said ""But why, son"". ""Did you not use the Dyson"" ""For sexual pleasure, it's smoother"". Back in the day, I am told, That women were never so bold."