New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Don't ship out criminal deportees Lammy wants them with their families But - nothing's amiss, 'cos YOU voted for this Oh! Wait, you were glued to TVs. It's YOUR fault - and not ever mine We're deep in the shit all the time."

[arsene york-hunt]

Assuming the first line should end:..... cսnt of the first order

[arsene york-hunt]

"Jesse Marsch, a cսnt of the first water Don't behave the way that he oughter My heart fucking bleeds, We can't beat dirty Leeds, We're fucked, I feel it in my water. Don't ship out criminal deportees Lammy wants them with their families"

[Helmut Shown]

"Now Gold has booted the pail Do we think it will hasten a sale Will we sit and stagnate While we ponder our fate and Moyes drives the coffin nail Jesse Marsch, a cսnt of the first water Don't behave the way that he oughter"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Selection for diversity Gave us Butler, Abott and Lamm-ee It was my intent To pen an amusing com-ment But couldnt think of anything witty Now Gold has booted the pail Do we think it will hasten a sale"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Transport minister Mark Harper Of the knives in the box the least sharper This piece of dead wood, Is not very good, And now is the time he should scarper. Selection for diversity Gave us Butler, Abott and Lamm-ee"

[Helmut Shown]

Sixty three Russian soldiers deceased.. But ukraine says four hundred at least But the Ukraine inferment Suggests a large mass interment Can somebody please call a priest? Transport minister Mark Harper Of the knives in the box the least sharper

[Helmut Shown]

Sixty three Russian soldiers deceased.. But ukraine says four hundred at least But the Ukraine inferment Suggests a large mass interment Can somebody please call a priest? Transport minister Mark Harper Of the knives in the box the least sharper

[arsene york-hunt]

"Regardless of our spending spree t's looking like 02/03 I remember back then, When that Roeder (Glen) Fucked us, I'll tell you that for free. Sixty three Russian soldiers deceased.. But ukraine says four hundred at least"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Our owners won't pay - you can tell By keeping the gaffer from hell Of one thing I'm sure It'll cost the cunts more When relegation sounds the death knell Regardless of our spending spree t's looking like 02/03

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Moyes has to take the abuses As we‚Äôre fed up with lame excuses. The cսnt's lost his way, So, how can he stay? We're bored with his non-winning ruses. Our owners won't pay - you can tell By keeping the gaffer from hell."

[Helmut Shown]

"Sixty years supporting this club, Hope running out, aye there's the rub To most it is dawning The chasm is yawning While shit teams await to drub Moyes has to take the abuses As we’re fed up with lame excuses"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Time to get rid of dead wood Some of our team are no good, 62,000 mugs It's like we're on drugs Moyse will turn it round's a falsehood. Sixty years supporting this club, Hope running out, aye there's the rub"

[Helmut Shown]

"Rather than that Italian phoney We could have snapped up Ivan Toney On his own up front Messi‚Äôd play like a cսnt Sack the Moyesiah, he‚Äôs pony Time to get rid of dead wood Some of our team are no good"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"When our fans made for the exit, Those cunts sung the firedrill shit To those fans that left With their dreams now bereft I don't blame you one little bit Rather than that Italian phoney We could have snapped up Ivan Toney"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Off game, to all the limericists I wish you a happy New year And hope that next year will bring cheer Before we kick a ball I'll say we'll win fuck all, If we don't sack Moyesie I fear"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Off game, to all the limericists I wish you a happy New year And hope that next year will bring cheer Before we kick a ball I'll say we'll win fuck all, If we don't sack Moyesie I fear"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Outplayed by a shower of shit A manager whose tactics don’t fit' We can't score in attack Fuck up at the back, That Scotch git is to blame for it. When our fans made for the exit, Those cunts sung the firedrill shit"

[Helmut Shown]

An elderly gay bishop from Rhyl Couldn't find a fresh choirboy to fill To be perfectly frank He just had a wank But it felt just run of the mill Outplayed by a shower of shit A manager whose tactics don’t fit

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A girl from the Bois de Boulogne, Liked men to fiddle with her groin That story is old But when i heard it told She was in fact from Des Moines A n elderly gay bishop from Rhyl Couldn't find a fresh choirboy to fill"

[arsene york-hunt]

"If on the morn we lose to the Bees We should all get down on our knees, And pray that the clown, Who's taking us down, Is shown the door by the two Ds. A girl from the Bois de Boulogne, Liked men to fiddle with gher groin."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I took a bird to the Savoy, She asked for chips and Savaloy A tart with no class But one hell of an arse And a minge that was really a joy If on the morn we lose to the Bees We should all get down on our knees"

[arsene york-hunt]

"If it should ever come to a vote Do we agree that Pele's the g.o.a.t? Shirtlifters will go, For that tart Ronaldo (that's not the Brazilian of note). I took a bird to the Savoy, She asked for chips and Savaloy"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

After eating his lunch at the Ritz He was taken with a bout of the shits It wasn't that funny His stool was all runny Except for some carroty bits If it should ever come to a vote Do we agree that Pele's the g.o.a.t?

[Helmut Shown]

I say this with all due asperity Moyesie must go now with celerity He aims for nil-nil We've all had our fill Put his reign down to posterity After eating his lunch at the Ritz He was taken with a bout of the shits