New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

It's been said that Richard the third. Paid for felatio with a bird He began to glower when he caught a brown shower And his face was covered in turd A gay man from John O' Groats Used to pick up sailors from the boats

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a man from Shoreditch His wife an incredible bitch He felt so much shame, Caught her on the game And her punter was Slavan Bilic. It's been said that Richard the third. Paid for felatio with a bird"

[Nutsin]

A scouser from Liverpool Would often play with his tool When one day a Manc Said. “Fancy a wank” I’ll wait till you get out of school There was a man from Shoreditch His wife an incredible bitch

[Nutsin]

A scouser from Liverpool Would often play with his tool When one day a Manc Said. “Fancy a wank” I’ll wait till you get out of school There was a man from Shoreditch His wife an incredible bitch

[Helmut Shown]

In a fishing boat out of Grimsby The used to play games out at sea When weather'd allow They'd stand on the bow And see how far they could pee A scouser from Liverpool Would often play with his tool

[arsene york-hunt]

"I have a fetish for German tarts The ones with after market parts In their SS outfit, On my face they would sit While letting off long smelly farts. In a fishing boat out of Grimsby The used to play games out at sea."

[Nutsin]

My fucking eyes… ‘Twas

[Nutsin]

‘‘Twas rather *

[Nutsin]

"T’was Jones that worked on the tanker His knob so sore cos he was a big wanker One day he said, “Fuck it, I’ll give myself head” Which is why he is now known as Bianca."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A man who worked on a tanker Found on his knob a big Chancre It got so large When he went on his barge He used the cսnt as an anchour I have a fetish for German tarts The ones with after market parts

[arsene york-hunt]

"Some women’s bits are just wrinkles Others are like little winkles, And their vulvas it seems Don't produce good streams. Just drips and leg wetting sprinkles A man who worked on a tanker Found on his knob a big Chancre"

[Helmut Shown]

Her cսnt was all covered in sores Which wept like the fuck in her drawers Amongst her pustules There grew some toadstools That showed when she got on all fours Some women‚Äôs bits are just wrinkles Others are like little winkles

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

And now a Lim'rick of pure FILF About a builder and a MILF I gave it some time But it's a bastard to rhyme So hope that the builder was WILF Her cսnt was all covered in sores Which wept like the fuck in her drawers

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was an old swimmer called Maud Pissed in the pool from the top board She turned and, I've heard, Dropped a fucking great turd, When arrested said she was bored. And now a Lim'rick of pure FILF About a builder and a MILF"

[Helmut Shown]

There once was a young man from Surrey Who shit himself after a curry After leaving the loo He'd then follow through That's always a bit of a worry There was an old swimmer called Maud Pissed into the pool from the top board

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's probably not for the best, But this verse is backing Fred West. A bit of a lad, But he wasn't all bad Did my patio ere his arrest. There once was a young man from Surrey Who shit himself after a curry+"

[arsene york-hunt]

There once was a young man from Surrey Who shit himself after a curry

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's probably not for the best, But this verse is backing Fred West. A bit of a lad, Did he wasn't all bad Did my patio ere his arrest."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"They say Jimmy Savile was kinky For showing some minors his winky. He also fucked stiffs While on his night shifts And fingered them all with his pinky. It's probably not for the best, But this verse is backing Fred West."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"They say Jimmy Savile was kinky For showing some minors his winky. He also fucked stiffs While on his night shifts And fingered them all with his pinky. It's probably not for the best, But this verse is backing Fred West."

[Helmut Shown]

When thinking of the racehorse named Arkle Would you rather ride it or Meg Markle If Harry rode the horse No need for remorse And none of the family debacle They say Jimmy Savile was kinky For showing some minors his winky

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Back on track.... Bad Luck or bent refs? Not a bit We're where we are cos we are shit. We cannot complain As we go down the drain Not luck, or the refs it's the kit When thinking of the racehorse named Arkle Would you rather ride it or Meg Markle"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A doris, while shaving her minge, Did find a few pubes that were ginge. It might be from Larry Or more likely Prince Harry The very idea made her cringe When thinking of the racehorse named Arkle Would you rather ride it or Meg Markle"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I once knew a dirty old strumpet Who loved to eat spunk on a crumpet For a slice of stale bread She'd give some fierce head, Enjoy it - or like it or lump it. A doris, while shaving her minge, Did find a few pubes that were ginge."

[arsene york-hunt]

"I once knew a dirty old strumpet Who loved to eat spunk on a crumpet, And with bread wiped her arse, Having shat in a glass, While practicing scales on her trumpet. Bad Luck or bent refs? Not a bit We're where we are cos we are shit."