New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"The benchmark to join the jet set, Is to go where no one's been yet To be a big hitter Don't follow Gary Glitter A boundary you'd need to forget That brass necked old boiler Liz Truss Wants to make a comeback. Discuss"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Next up for the Lions is Ukraine I think I’ll chose to abstain. It won't be viewed wise If you apologise, Just wait for the contest again. The benchmark to join the jet set, Is to go where no one's been yet."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A farmer from out in the sticks Sent his daughters out to do tricks She tried her body to sell But it didn’t go well She only brought back two and six Next up for the Lions is Ukraine I think I’ll chose to abstain

[arsene york-hunt]

"McGuire and Stones play like prats Improving their passing stats? Not really a shame But did not watch the game, I was watching a rerun of Cats.* *May not be true. A farmer from out in the sticks Sent his daughters out to do tricks."

[Helmut Shown]

"Kier Starmer, one of life's dicks Thinks that men can have a cervix Lip service to trannys Who want to have fannies Why aren't they proud of their pricks? McGuire and Stones play like prats Improving their passing stats?"

[Helmut Shown]

"Kier Starmer, one of life's dicks Thinks that men can have a cervix Lip service to trannys Who want to have fannies Why aren't they proud of their dicks? McGuire and Stones play like prats Improving their passing stats?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So. Up go the bank rates again For many, it heaps on the pain. But in Haringey They throw money away, Changing the name of Black Boy Lane. Kier Starmer, one of life's dicks Thinks that men can have a cervix"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I once knew a young girl called Peg Who unfortunately had only one leg . It was the one in the middle, From which she would piddle. Quite often, she'd fill up a keg. So. Up go the bank rates again For many, it heaps on the pain."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A young rentboy in a public loo, Was picked up by an orthodox jew He said to the gay nipper Youre lucky it’s Yom Kippur So just a bj not a screw I once knew a young girl called Peg Who unfortunately had only one leg"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty young minx from Sheerness Had spunk stains all over her dress, For just a few quid, Your flies she undid, And performed with skill and finesse. A young rentboy in a public loo, Was picked up by an orthodox jew"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Its obvious to anyone with nous That Bojo told fibs to the House If it comes down to lying There’s surely no denying That the winner’s the orange-faced louse A dirty young minx from Sheerness Had spunk stains all over her dress

[Helmut Shown]

Going down on a bird on the blob Youre likely get blood in your gob You must have dulled senses To feast on warm menses Its enough to deflate your knob Its obvious to anyone with nous That Bojo told fibs to the House

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A young lady from near Conakry Sat on her kitchen sink for a pee I don’t think she oughta Have Forgotten the hot water Which gave her burns, third degree Going down on a bird on the blob Youre likely get blood in your gob"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Thinking himself intellectual He came out as pansexual, Blokes trying to be ""cool"", Look like cunts as a rule His efforts thus were ineffectual. A young lady from near Conakry Sat on her kitchen sink for a pee"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea Alas she'd no doubt His bum was reamed out And blotting it was a bit of Delsey* *a well known toilet tissue. You try and rhyme Chelsea! Thinking himself intellectual He came out as pansexual"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea Alas she'd no doubt His bum was reamed out And blotting it was a bit of Delsey* *a well known toilet tissue. You try and rhyme Chelsea! Thinking himself intellectual He came out as pansexual"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The sight that most makes me cringe Is a forest of hair round a minge, A question aethetic, I find hairy magnetic, A matter of taste, let's not whinge. A young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The sight that most makes me cringe Is a forest of hair round a minge, A question aethetic, I find hairy magnetic, A matter of taste, let's not whinge. A young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The sight that most makes me cringe Is a forest of hair round a minge, A question aethetic, I find hairy magnetic, A matter of taste, let's not whinge. An young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The sight that most makes me cringe Is a forest of hair round a minge, A question aethetic, But I find hairy magnetic, A matter of taste, let's not whinge. An young eastend lass called Elsie, Went out with a prat, fan of Chelsea."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There was a old man from Gravesend. Had a blockage in his U Bend A surfeit of fibre Filling his Khyber Was eventually cleared by his boyfriend The sight that most makes me cringe Is a forest of hair round a minge

[northbanker]

"So many gay blokes in Eastenders They should change the name to Eastbenders And cause for alarm, As Bummerdale Farm, And Corrie are full of transgenders. There was a old man from Gravesend. Had a blockage in his U Bend"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It is said we’re too good to go down But we will if we keep the Scots clown, It's far too much strife, If you beat the wife So if we drop, my cat I will drown. So many gay blokes in Eastenders They should change the name to Eastbenders"

[Helmut Shown]

"This cough I've got really won't go. I've had it a week now, you know? I cannot get rid It may be Covid That’ll teach me to go commando It is said we’re too good to go down But we will if we keep the Scots clown"

[Helmut Shown]

Said WS Gilbert in rhyme That the Punishment should fit the crime. To deal with these turds I can’t find the words So I think I’ll portray it in mime It is said we’re too good to go down But we will if we keep the Scots clown