New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

That Ginger Bob cսnt from Millwall With his tall tales of fights at football This arrogant pikey With the Walter Mitty psyche From under what stone did he crawl? A farmer who comes from Diss Found blood when he went for a piss

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A northern supporter from Leeds Was found to have special needs He fit in quite well It was impossible to tell Him apart from the other crossbreeds That Ginger Bob cսnt from Millwall With his tall tales of fights at football

[Helmut Shown]

A man stealing drawers off of lines. Had previously paid several fines Most people recoiled He preferred them quite soiled With piss stains and blast mark designs A northern supporter from Leeds Was found to have special needs

[arsene york-hunt]

"Our comeback from behind apart We gifted them a two goal start, Fuck that Arteta, I just bought a Lambretta Which I found in Exchange and Mart. A man stealing drawers off of lines. Had previously paid several fines"

[Helmut Shown]

Next Friday I'm hoping Southampton could Kill Arsenal's title for good. Their manager prick An hysterical spic Stealing a livelihood Our comeback from behind apart We gifted them a two goal start

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Those gooner fans did surmise, That we were the yids in disguise. In the true West Ham way. It's ""Fuck 'em!"" I say And their dream that now fades and dies. Next Friday I'm hoping Southampton could Kill Arsenal's title for good."

[arsene york-hunt]

"They've found a quick way to our goal At left back we have a black hole, Gave them two goals start. We were right in the cart, They thought it would be just a stroll. Those gooner fans did surmise, That we were the yids in disguise."

[Helmut Shown]

That Moyes has sure got some neck Including that cretin Soucek He's made me a swearer Selecting Cresswell and Kehrer As a manager the man's a train wreck They've found a quick way to our goal At left back we have a black hole

[Helmut Shown]

That Moyes has sure got some neck Including that cretin Soucek He's made me a swearer Selecting Cresswell and Kehrer As a manager the man's a train wreck They've found a quick way to our goal At left back we have a black hole

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

It is said if you come from Liverpool Its ok in the gutter to leave a stool Because inside their house The benefit scouse Don’t have a loo as a rule That Moyes has sure got some neck Including that cretin Soucek

[Helmut Shown]

"Spurs are a big club their fans say, But were beaten by Bournmouth today. Ordered to lose By the owner Jews To hope West Ham in the championship play It is said if you come from Liverpool Its ok in the gutter to leave a stool"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She came down the stairs on the bus, Her fanny was dripping with pus, That lady you see, Is our local MP, Said a bloke who witnessed called Russ. Spurs are a big club their fans say, But were beaten by Bournmouth today."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"No matter how much I toil I can't lance my nasty arse boil, But I'm a man of fine mettle, So I'll sit on a kettle, And hope that my keks I don't soil She came down the stairs on the bus, Her fanny was dripping with pus"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I once shagged a tart in Algiers. She'd flaps that looked like spaniel's ears Of one thing I'm certain That huge beef curtain Was bigger than most of her peers No matter how much I toil I can't lance my nasty arse boil

[arsene york-hunt]

"A man from Chinese extraction Showed his knob on Naked Attraction Sporting a Prince Albert, But tiny and inert, It had shrunk through years of inaction. I once shagged a tart in Algiers. She'd flaps that looked like spaniel's ears"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's said that Corrie's Len Fairclough, Had a taste for underaged muff. This northern paedo With uncontrolled libido Liked it bald and lacking dandruff A man from Chinese extraction Showed his knob on Naked Attraction"

[arsene york-hunt]

"These football ones are a bit of a yawn Can we all just get back to the porn? When you reach my age, Porn ain't all the rage, It's hard work just getting the horn. It's said that Corrie's Len Fairclough, Had a taste for underaged muff."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Now, Sunday I'm starting to dread, So. What has our manager said? We’re on to a loser Shall I go to the boozer? No, I think I’ll just stay in bed These football ones are a bit of a yawn Can we all just get back to the porn?"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I’m sorry for the fans that spent Good money for that game against Gent. No soccer safari, More football ""Atari"" As anger the fans justly vent. Now, Sunday I'm starting to dread, So. What has our manager said?"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Have you heard the offensive song Saying Harry Kane is a mong It’s clear that the clown’s Has defo got Downs So really I see nothing wrong I’m sorry for the fans that spent Good money for that game against Gent

[arsene york-hunt]

"They surround the ref all the time But nothing is done to the slime, And also I'd say, Their fans are mostly gay, Supporting them should be a crime. Have you heard the offensive song Saying Harry Kane is a mong."

[Helmut Shown]

"Our next game? At home to ""The Arse"". D'ya thing we will manage one pass? Another big thumping Who’s Moysie humping? The whole season’s turned to farce They surround the ref all the time But nothing is done to the slime"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Some evil fuckers need shootin', Like Lineker, spurs fans and Putin. In every case, Should first burn their face And then, with aplomb, stick the boot in. Our next game? At home to ""The Arse"". D'ya thing we will manage one pass?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Moysie - he knows he can stay His severance ""Sully"" won't pay, That tight fisted Dwarf, He should just fuck orf, And let's get a team that can play. Some evil fuckers need shootin', Like Lineker, spurs fans and Putin"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Can't defend, score goals or keep the ball, Games that we should win, I see fuck all. But be of good cheer And drink lots more beer. This season is too close to call. That Moysie - he knows he can stay His severance ""Sully"" won't pay"