New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Pee Wee]

"After drinking far too much beer, Shagged a slapper, got Gonorrhoea The symptoms made me cry Puss out from my japs eye And some oozing out of my rear When mowing the grass into stripes With the Flymo Z8 prototype"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young girl from Kirkaldy Preferred her fanny to be baldy, Dropped 'em for a fiver, For a racing driver, Name of Emmerson Fitipaldi. After drinking far too much beer, Shagged a slapper, got Gonorrhoea"

[Helmut Shown]

A brown envelope for Kavenaugh? One too for the bloke doing VAR? We thought it had expired When Mike Dean retired But decisions against us still bizarre There was a young girl from Kirkaldy Preferred her fanny to be baldy

[arsene york-hunt]

"Who’s the most boring old fart Woy or Moyes? I can’t tell apart, Interviews aren't a hit, With both talking shit, Droning on, not exactly Descartes. A brown envelope for Kavenaugh? One too for the bloke doing VAR?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Who’s the most boring old fart Woy or Moyes? I can’t tell apart, Interviews aren't a hit, With both talking shit, Droning on, not exactly Descartes. A brown envelope for Kavenaugh? One too for the bloke doing VAR?"

[Helmut Shown]

They claim these reffing aberations Even out in the season's durations They find it impious When you quote Northern bias It suits the FA’s machinations Who’s the most boring old fart Woy or Moyes? I can’t tell apart

[arsene york-hunt]

"This fucking VAR makes me sick We get the shit end of the stick, Makes one wany to cuss, But 'twas ever thus. Bent refs get on my fucking wick. They claim these reffing aberations Even out in the season's durations."

[arsene york-hunt]

"This fucking VAR makes me sick We get the shit end of the stick, Makes one wany to cuss, But 'twas ever thus. Bent refs get on my fucking wick. They claim these reffing aberation Even out in the season's durations."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was once a promiscuous chap, In Thailand caught a dose of the clap A young ladyboy His arse did destroy But he didn't wipe off the crap This fucking VAR makes me sick We get the shit end of the stick"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A nice result at the Emirates The youths win, Arse capitulates, Made of the right stuff, But not good enough, It's the West Ham team that celebrates. There was once a promiscuous chap, In Thailand caught a dose of the clap"

[Helmut Shown]

"Next up the scum from Liverpool, Always victims they claim as a rule They descend on the shops The proprietor calls the cops But blame them? That would be cruel A nice result at the Emirates The youths win, Arse capitulates"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I hate I'm a celeb because They're has beens or perhaps never was Now celebritee 'sNot what it used to be, Ant and Dec? load of fuckin' dross. Next up the scum from Liverpool, Always victims they claim as a rule"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I hate I'm a celeb because They're has beens or perhaps never was Now celebritee 'sNot what it used to be, Ant and Dec? load of fuckin' dross. Next up the scum from Liverpool, Always victims they claim as a rule"

[Helmut Shown]

"At the LS the other day, They had some cսnt as a DJ The row played by this freak You can't hear yourself speak I'd rather we'd played away I hate I'm a celeb because They're has beens or perhaps never was"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Some difficult games to come Will we win or fall on our bum European elation And then relegation, The whole thing just seems rather rum. At the LS the other day, They had some cսnt as a DJ."

[Helmut Shown]

Our third goal scored by Declan Rice To watch it was so very nice Such a great pity Our league form is shitty Is Europe a fool’s paradise? Some difficult games to come Will we win or fall on our bum

[arsene york-hunt]

"A leisure centre the Welshmen boast Is a sheep that’s tied to a lamppost All inclusive perversion, Post coital diversion, They're given some tea and some toast. Our third goal scored by Declan Rice To watch it was so very nice"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young pervert who is Welsh, A sheep in a field tried to felch. He didn’t use force Just waved some mint sauce Pulling out with an audible squelch A leisure centre the Welshmen boast Is a sheep that’s tied to a lamppost"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Will they play as they did 'gainst the reds? Or will we be back on our heads, Will our players ""turn up,"" In the conference cup, Or play the way our fanbase dreads. A young pervert who is Welsh, A sheep in a field tried to felch."

[Helmut Shown]

"The police took him to the nick, Thinking he was mentally sick But this man of repute Was pissed as a newt So they banged him up real quick Will they play as they did 'gainst the reds? Or will we be back on our heads"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl was taken aback By a dirty old man in a mac, It caused a great shock, When he took out his cock, Then bent and opened his arse crack. The police took him to the nick, Thinking he was mentally sick"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A Chinaman tried milking a cow But the Chinaman didn't know how What he thought was a teat Was in fact it’s man-meat But still filled the bucket, anyhow A young girl was taken aback By a dirty old man in a mac"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young lass from Penzance Had a hole in the crotch of her pants, When her suitor would scratch, Through this op'ning, her snatch, His finger'd be covered with ants. A Chinaman tried milking a cow But the Chinaman didn't know how"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young girl from Nepal, Given one against the bog wall His cock was littler She thought he was Hitler For the fact that he’d only one ball There was a young lass from Penzance Had a hole in the crotch of her pants"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A farmer who comes from Diss Found blood when he went for a piss, And to his shame, Problems with his aim, The bowl of the khazi he'd miss. There was a young girl from Nepal, Given one against the bog wall"