New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Pee Wee]

My missus has got so wide That i think I'll get a Thai bride She came from Bangkok Wearing a beautiful frock But with more than I bargained inside With Charlie about to be king A new national anthem we’ll sing

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"It's said that fat Frankie Lampard, Likes to do odd things, when he's hard When he gets merry He rogers John Terry With certainly no self-regard My missus has got so wide That i think I'll get a Thai bride"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Sean Dyche and his croaky old voice Makes many a housewife rejoice, But he likes bumhole sex, When he takes off his kecks, With a ladyboy, calls himself Joyce. It's said that fat Frankie Lampard, Likes to do odd things, when he's hard. ***Some of the above details may have been changed to add artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise tedious narrative"

[Pee Wee]

And now the time has come to pass To stick the blue flag up your arse Best take of the pole So it’ll fit in your hole And won’t prolapse all over the grass Sean Dyche and his croaky old voice Makes many a housewife rejoice

[Pee Wee]

And now the time has come to pass To stick the blue flag up your arse Best take of the pole So it’ll fit in your hole And won’t prolapse all over the grass Sean Dyche and his croaky old voice Makes many a housewife rejoice

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

How magnanimous is J√ºrgen Klopp? The cսnt's always throwing a strop But if he ever wants out We‚Äôd welcome the kraut And give that cսnt Moyes the chop And now the time has come to pass To stick the blue flag up your arse

[Helmut Shown]

There was an old geezer called Cole Pebble dashed the porcelain bowl. Was it a curry? That caused this foul slurry Or a sinister growth in his hole How magnanimous is J√ºrgen Klopp? The cսnt's always throwing a strop

[arsene york-hunt]

"Fox News getting rinsed up in court My just be my new favourite sport It's no use crying The press, always lying. Honesty? Always falling short. There was an old geezer called Cole Pebble dashed the porcelaine bowl."

[Pee Wee]

"It just seems to me, I confess, ""Trans woman's"" a bloke in a dress Hairy legs in a gown And some random pronoun My god this world is a mess Fox News getting rinsed up in court My just be my new favourite sport"

[arsene york-hunt]

Hello Mrs. Jones 12:58 Mon May 1 Helmut Shown 1:02 Mon May 1 ;-) :-) :-)

[arsene york-hunt]

"Another piss poor referee Favouring the scouse i see, Fucking T*tt'nam, is great But I can't celebrate, As scouse cunts just sicken me. It just seems to me, I confess, ""Trans woman's"" a bloke in a dress"

[Helmut Shown]

I once new a nice piece of totty Who let me take her up the botty Without any lube Blood dripped from her tube Followed by tea and biscotti Another piss poor referee Favouring the scouse i see

[Helmut Shown]

"A old tramp had a shit on the floor. Of a District Line train by the door A lusty young wench Said ""fuck me what a stench"" The behaviour of both to deplore Another piss poor referee Favouring the scouse i see"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A old tramp had a shit on the floor. Of a District Line train by the door He started to go at Bromley-by-Bow And by Plaistow had dumped a load more I once new a nice piece of totty Who let me take her up the botty

[arsene york-hunt]

"How much will we get for Scamacca? He really turned out to be caca, His value will fall We might get fuck all. He seems only fit for the knacker. A old tramp had a shit on the floor. Of a District Line train by the door"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

As Sundays results go our way In the premier league we’re set to stay We are lucky it seems That there’s three worse teams Hard to believe I must say How much will we get for Scamacca? He really turned out to be caca

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

As Sundays results go our way In the premier league we’re set to stay We are lucky it seems That there’s three worse teams Hard to believe I must say How much will we get for Scamacca? He really turned out to be caca

[Pee Wee]

"We'nsday's ref? corrupt i would think Yesterday's? useless, both calls stink. But a handy excuse For Moyes when we lose As he tries the fans to hoodwink As Sundays results go our way In the premier league we’re set to stay"

[arsene york-hunt]

"These refs seem to have an agenda Or they've been out on a bender Are they incompetent, Or are they just bent? I'd stick their balls in a blender. We'nsday's ref? corrupt i would think Yesterday's? useless, both calls stink."

[Helmut Shown]

"The crap show that is called VAR Worst thing in football by far The technology's fine But when Mike Dean you assign To interpret, the results are bizarre These refs seem to have an agenda Or they've been out on a bender"

[Pee Wee]

Now that Moyes's time draws to an end He's boring football driving most round the bend. The dullard old Scot Is a weird paradox Defensive coach that cannot defend The crap show that is called VAR Worst thing in football by far

[Alwaysaniron]

"Ted Fenton at the Pearly Gates Was considering his eternal fate ""you can support any team Ted Now that you're dead or continue to suffer and wait for your mates Now that Moyes's time draws to an end He's boring football driving most round the bend."

[Pee Wee]

She had very pretty blue eyes But she'd eaten too many pies Although it would annoy ‘er I called Pig Destroyer Cos he loves the ladies plus sized RIP Ted Fenton at the Pearly Gates Was considering his eternal fate

[Helmut Shown]

While I really dont mind the clean cut Cant we all just get back to the smut Talk of prossies and benders Stockings and suspenders And girls sticking things up their butt She had very pretty blue eyes But she'd eaten too many pies

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

When mowing the grass into stripes With the Flymo Z8 prototype I wont waste my time On this dodgy rhyme And I don’t want to hear any gripes While I really dont mind the clean cut Cant we all just get back to the smut