New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

A man rushing to defaecate Got his trousers off just too late In the crotch of his trews Two very large poos A couple of pounds I’d estimate When other teams begin to prepare Non league friendlies? I despair

[arsene york-hunt]

"If you're a nonce and a toff Don't worry your friends get you off, The upper crust turd Won't do any bird, Enough to make proles want to scoff. A man rushing to defaecate Got his trousers off just too late"

[Helmut Shown]

"One of the gay BBC pricks Paid a bender for some dirty pics Over thirty thousand quid Paid to a kid For that, most would show him their dicks If you're a nonce and a toff Don't worry your friends get you off"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A couple of lines from the stack, To help keep this thread on it's track, It would be my goal, To write something drole But alas I don't have the knack. One of the gay BBC pricks Paid a bender for some dirty pics"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A couple of lines from the stack To help keep this thread on it's track

[arsene york-hunt]

And there was me thinking that nobody ever reads this thread.

[Hammer and Pickle]

It's high time someone took a sickle To that narcissist Hammer and Pickle. He makes me feel fat I hate him He's such a cool cat. What's a matter you? Gotta no respect?

[arsene york-hunt]

"The BBC: so, yet one more jerk Been booted out of the woodwork, it's a very strange thing, But it's like the nonce wing, For paedos a rather nice perk. It's high time someone took a sickle To that narcissist Hammer and Pickle."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When thinking about a prize cսnt Steve Smith is at the forefront. But let us be clear There's far more on here, ALL gagging to join a witch hunt. The BBC: so, yet one more jerk Been booted out of the woodwork"

[Helmut Shown]

"There's a bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive Contracted from wrinkles Normally on winkles But if you talk like a cսnt it'll thrive When thinking about a prize cսnt Steve Smith is at the forefront"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There's a bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After how badly we fared We enter a season unprepared The usual scenes, With stiffs and has-beens You'd hardly say ""No expense spared."" There bloke that I know known as Clive, Got a dose of clap from a muff dive"

[Helmut Shown]

"It's turning to one of life's farces, Dec has not gone yet to les Arses That Arteta creep Wants Dec on the cheap As a means of failure catharsis After how badly we fared We enter a season unprepared"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Looks like we’re taking a beating Because of Australian cheating, But one has to say They're better on the day, We don't want to sound like we're bleating. It's turning to one of life's farces, Dec has not gone yet to les Arses"

[Helmut Shown]

"A baseball cap worn back to front, To most of us is an affront. An act of crudeness To encourage rudeness I see what you did there you cսnt Looks like we‚Äôre taking a beating Because of Australian cheating"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now Israel has got it's own war, The BBC keeping the score. Their reporter, called Steve, Was caught in Tel Aviv With a two hundred shekel whore. A baseball cap worn back to front, To most of us is an affront."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors Her brother would, though, If I gave him some dough, And with that he got on ""all fours"". Now Israel has got it's own war, The BBC keeping the score."

[arsene york-hunt]

"The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth, From licking out crumpet, To playing the trumpet, Was once filmed by Jonathan Routh. When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth, From licking out crumpet, To playing the trumpet, Was once filmed by Jonathan Routh. When I pulled a girl from the Corrs, She'd not let me through the back doors"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The sudden pain and the sound of a rip Yes, you’ve caught your cock in your zip. Now. That's why the wise Have button-up flies. They're also sartorially hip. The MP for Aberdeen South Can do party tricks with his mouth"

[Helmut Shown]

"A lesbian woman called Brenda Liked licking young ladies pudenda It wasn’t the view But the bad smell of poo But even that didn’t offend her The sudden pain and the sound of a rip Yes, you’ve caught your cock in your zip"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A housewife from East Aberdeen Liked to sit on her washing machine, The fast spin vibration, A pleasant sensation, While her dirty knickers got clean. A lesbian woman called Brenda Liked licking young ladies pudenda"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a man from Peterhead, Liked onanism when in bed His sheets were all spattered One day the sheets shattered Should have washed them it’s got to be said A housewife from East Aberdeen Liked to sit on her washing machine"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So. What do we do with the French? Should we send in the crew from The Bench? As a race they are sick, The eat snails with garlic, From their breath comes a nauseous stench. There was a man from Peterhead, Liked onanism when in bed"

[Mike Oxsaw]

It is said that William Rees-Mogg Is a nasty right wing demagogue. But he voted remain So hard to explain Unless you're a bigoted knob. So. What do we do with the French? Should we send in the crew from The Bench?