New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"He only realised his folly After being caught shagging a collie There was but one hitch, He thought it a bitch, And now he feels a right wally. Une fois, en France chez ma tante, J'ai fait un flotteur resistant"

[Helmut Shown]

You see all that land that's on fire? That's making the temperature higher Planes to foreign parts Multiple cow farts Are making the outlook seem dire He only realised his folly After being caught shagging a collie

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young girl from Madagascar, ""Entertained"" in the back of a car, Mercedes or Porsche, A Roller? Of course! Her favourite? An old Jaguar. You see all that land that's on fire? That's making the temperature higher."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Against Mark Wood you'd not bet Faster than an Exocet, I'm so uninspired To write rhymes, must be tired, I can't think of anything yet. A young girl from Madagascar, ""Entertained"" in the back of a car"

[Helmut Shown]

Our England's hopes will now grow With that 99 from our Johnny Bairstow But it may be in vain We expect heavy rain The cheats now are praying for snow Against Mark Wood you'd not bet Faster than an Exocet

[Helmut Shown]

Our England's hopes will now grow With that 99 from our Johnny Bairstow But it may be in vain We expect heavy rain The cheats now are praying for snow Against Mark Wood you'd not bet Faster than an Exocet

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a bloke from Nantucket Had no toilet so shit in a bucket. It wasnt a log In that makeshift bog But a perfectly formed little nugget Our England's hopes will now grow With that 99 from our Johnny Barstow

[arsene york-hunt]

"He was somewhat extrovert So he went to work in a skirt, It is handy he'd say, When with yourself you play, It conceals the ejaculate spurt. There once was a bloke from Nantucket Had no toilet so shit in a bucket."

[Helmut Shown]

A randy Welsh farmer called Hugh Was seen to be buggering a ewe He'd also jam His dick up a ram Panspecies and pansexual too He was somewhat extrovert So he went to work in a skirt

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

It's said that these new lady vicars Beneath their cassocks wear no knickers So when leaving the apse They're exposing their flaps And frightening some nearby picnickers A randy Welsh farmer called Hugh Was seen to be buggering a ewe

[arsene york-hunt]

"In the days of sexual deficiency There was always Health and Efficiency, Or Penthouse and Razzle These mags. would dazzle, Of filth there was always sufficiency. It's said that these new lady vicars Beneath their cassocks wear no knickers"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"In one of her earlier lives, Did some pictures for readers wives The days of full muff All tight curls and fluff And all with the latest beehives In the days of sexual deficiency There was always Health and Efficiency"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young Spanish man from Tarragona Had a problem with an unwanted boner It stretched his nut sack Pulled his foreskin back, And exposed his glans corona. In one of her earlier lives, Did some pictures for readers wives"

[Helmut Shown]

"An old git from Frinton on Sea, Defaecated behind a tree He felt such a fool Stepping back on his stool Not the best sight to see A young Spanish man from Tarragona Had a problem with an unwanted boner"

[Helmut Shown]

Women's World Cup's 'bout to start Does anyone here give a fart The splitarses claim They play the same game Like comparing a Bentley to a cart A young Spanish man from Tarragona Had a problem with an unwanted boner

[arsene york-hunt]

"Women's World Cup's 'bout to start Does anyone here give a fart, A win or a loss No-one gives a toss, Who'd watch some muscular tart? An old git from Frinton on Sea, Defaected behind a tree"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A young Scottish lady called Molly Had a heart attack squeezing a tolly If this happens to you When taking a poo Try winkling it out with a brolly * i had to google tolly btw Women's World Cup's 'bout to start Does anyone here give a fart

[arsene york-hunt]

"New season is not far away. I hope that we've learnt how to play, We've beaten the yids, We're playing our kids, Scored 13. Is this the right way? A young Scottish lady called Molly Had a heart attack squeezing a tolly"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Do you think that the Scottish goof Will give a chance to our yoof They might get a mention When claiming their pension And that's not a lie - it's the truth! New season is not far away. I hope that we've learnt how to play

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Our transfer business aint too quick Is it time yet to start to pan-ic The scottish cսnt is to blame Every year it's the same That Moyes is really a dick Do you think that the Scottish goof Will give a chance to our yoof

[arsene york-hunt]

"We won, is all that can be said Our possession stats well in the red, Their defence we cut though And beat the cunts 3 -2. The only stat that counts, sor-ted. Our transfer business aint too quick Is it time yet to start to pan-ic"

[Helmut Shown]

"There once was a bloke called Fat Sam, Went with window girls in Amsterdam . The smell of old fish Helped fulfill his life's wish As he feasted on a hairy clam We won, is all that can be said Our possession stats well in the red"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A dirty old parish priest On the choirboys he used to feast, Things he did with his dick, Would make decent folk sick, He'll be inside for three years at least, There once was a bloke called Fat Sam, Went with window girls in Amsterdam ."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from near Diss Tried to fart while having a piss He's lucky, cos when I pee The fart comes for free When it didn't i can only reminisce A dirty old parish priest On the choirboys he used to feast"

[arsene york-hunt]

WTF????