New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"A shy girl.from County Cork Had a stammer when she tried to talk, She wasn't too bright, And try as she might, Could not tell butter from Stork. Captain Kirk said to Mr. Spock, Let's start an account with tik-tok."

[Darlo Debs]

Our starting at a good pace Has seen us now in fourth place But we never should Sign Mason Greenwood As he is a total sex case A shy girl.from County Cork Had a stammer when she tried to.talk

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was a young man from Caerphilly, Stole drawers from lines, mostly frilly He'd wear them at night And give people a fright As he strode up and down Piccadilly Our starting at a good pace Has seen us now in fourth place"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a bloke who had a glass eye He didn't make a very good spy But from the FSB He can't be sacked,you see, As he is a Putin ally. There was a young man from Caerphilly, Stole drawers from lines, mostly frilly,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a bloke who had a glass eye He didn't make a very good spy But from the FSB He can't be sacked,you see, As he is a Putin ally. There was a young man from Caerphilly, Stole drawers from lines, mostly frilly,"

[Darlo Debs]

"There once was a bloke they call Ginge, Had bought needles and syringe He thought himself a lady His behaviour quite shady When he decided he wanted a. minge There was a bloke who had a glass eye He didn't make a very good spy"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was an old man called Hunt While walking down Southend seafront With a beer, taking sips, And a portion of chips, Dropping them all down his front There once was a bloke they call Ginge, Had bought needles and syringe"

[Helmut Shown]

"I woke up real early one day So thought that I'd have a quick play With my lips in good order I grasped my recorder And tootled ""Anchors Aweigh"" There was an old man called Hunt While walking down Southend seafront"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She then pulled a handful of grass Which she used for wiping her arse That doesn't quite scan I'll try if I can... ...but, no...on this one I'll pass. I woke up real early one day So thought that I'd have a quick play"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In the backstreets of Katmandu A girl was in need of a poo She quickly looked round Saw a hole in the ground, And said to herself: ""That'll do."" Continued: She then pulled a handful of grass Which she used for wiping her arse"

[Helmut Shown]

This concrete that's falling apart What sets it off is a loud fart. Just ask the tools Who commissioned the schools Sack these cunts for a start In the backstreets of Katmandu A girl was in need of a poo

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Manure fan from Bow called Chris Said:""I did not sign up for this"". ""We're meant to be best"" ""Above all the rest"", ""But we're a cart-load of piss"". This concrete that's falling apart What sets it off is a loud fart."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Belize Whose penis hung down to his knees, His young lady Pat Had a cavernous prat And used to lick off his knob cheese. A Manure fan from Bow called Chris Said:""I did not sign up for this""."

[Helmut Shown]

"She picked up with a bloke who is Scotch, Who likes licking cum from her crotch She'd had sex with her sister Who'd decided to fist her later he found her wristwatch There was a young man from Belize Whose penis hung down to his knees"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A victory at Kenilworth road Means the Premier League we’ve bestrode. But next it's Man City Which won't be too pretty I'm hoping that we don't implode. She picked up with a bloke who is Scotch, Who likes licking cum from her crotch"

[,]

A photographer name of Bert. Really enjoyed snapping upskirt A mistake caused a shock When he upsnapped a jock Viewing meat and two veg really hurt A victory at Kenilworth road Means the Premier League we’ve bestrode.

[arsene york-hunt]

"I rolled me a joint just last night, It blew my head right out of sight. I woke up in a ditch, With a half naked bitch, The sight of her gave me a fright. A photographer name of Bert. Really enjoyed snapping upskirt"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young girl would often give head To schoolboys behind the bike shed. When the prefects arrive, She opens her thighs And lets them all fuck her instead. I rolled me a joint just last night, It blew my head right out of sight."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young lady from Poole, In a rage, cut off her bloke's tool. To rub it in too She shoved it up his flue “Now how do you like it, fool!” A young girl would often give head To schoolboys behind the bike shed"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The pilot and chief stewardess, Were caught in a state of undress, He was fondling her arse In the bog in first class. She later claimed under duress. There was a young lady from Poole, In a rage, cut off her bloke's tool."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man from Korea Who suffered a bout of diarrhoea A dodgy Mandoo Can liquidize poo It happens at this time of year. The pilot and chief stewardess, Were caught in a state of undress"

[Helmut Shown]

"Gabon's ousted Ali Bongo, They say the magician must go. At the military's insistence He gave no resistance He could have used tae kwon do There was an old man from Korea Who suffered a bout of diarrhoea"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm booking a ticket to fly I really don't care where or why. But now as it stands Perhaps Jaywick Sands, 'The prices of flights are too high. Gabon's ousted Ali Bongo, They say the magician must go."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Gyles Brandreth the pompous old turd Would be better unseen and unheard But his sartorial quest, Proving jumpers are best, In French, it's a load of old merde. I'm booking a ticket to fly I really don't care where or why."

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke from Virginia Water Arrested for shagging his daughter The judge gave him time He regarded his crime Was slightly less than manslaughter Gyles Brandreth the pompous old turd Would be better unseen and unheard