New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Darlo Debs]

"A perverted man called O'Tool, Was arrested for Muffin the Mule Bungle got a bit lippy When he tried to shag zippy While Emu kept playing the fool A bloke in a naff sweater Tried to.pull.a girl.who.was much better"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm thinking about Bill and Ben, A little weed now and again. Popalop dopalop Popadop plopa dop That's how they talk, flower pot men. A perverted man called O'Tool, Was arrested for Muffin the Mule"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"She lay abed flicking her bean, While thinking of all things obscene Her dad, at the foot the bed Said ""stop all that shit - give me head"" ""Like when you became a young teen."" I'm thinking about Bill and Ben, A little weed now and again."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young girl, whilst sat on the bog Had problems with laying a log. She pushed and she squeezed, But when the thing eased, The bog had a massive brown clog. She lay abed flicking her bean, While thinking of all things obscene"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young tranny called Tim For his birthday wanted a quim. To the doctors, a shout, ""Just cut me one out"" ""Then clean it with Ajax and Vim."" A young girl, whilst sat on the bog Had problems with laying a log."

[Helmut Shown]

In my school I was thrilled to bits When the teacher showed me her tits As her boobs flopped out I said “show us yer clout” She did and her pubes had nits There was a young tranny called Tim For his birthday wanted a quim

[arsene york-hunt]

"""Let's not make this all about me!"" The spammer exulted with glee With ""Cabbage"" he's battled And obviously rattled, Totally self awareness free. In my school I was thrilled to bits When the teacher showed me her tits"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I once knew a bloke quite a prick, Who became a hairy beatnik. Like now, as was then, Was all down to Zen It's clear in the head he's quite sick. ""Let's not make this all about me!"" The spammer exulted with glee"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I once knew a bloke quite a prick, Who became a hairy beatnik. Like now, as was then, Was all down to Zen It's clear in the head he's quite sick. ""Let's not make this all about me!"" The spammer exulted with glee"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In the sixties she was a “Dolly Bird” By “free love” she wasn’t deterred, But things went amiss, When she caught syphilis And her face now looks like a dried turd. I once knew a bloke quite a prick, Who became a hairy beatnik."

[Helmut Shown]

While digging a hole in the street The bloke put the spade through his feet. It seems quite a shame On the Walk of Fame His toes are in the elite In the sixties she was a “Dolly Bird” By “free love” she wasn’t deterred

[Mike Oxsaw]

"If we don’t show Lingard the love We can’t call him the guv’, And even for free, He's not worth the fee That's even if push comes to shove. While digging a hole in the street The bloke put the spade through his feet."

[eswing hammer]

"An old city banker called Max, Was walking down Simmery Axe ‘‘Twas a lady at number seventy Who used to give him his remedy And didn’t even charge him tax If we don’t show Lingard the love We can’t call him the guv’,"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The was a bloke called Keith Who met his match on Hampstead Heath, Outside Jack Straws Castle Given one up his ars'ole Didn't pay or even use a sheath. An old country singer, I'm told Had spent his life on the railroad Now banned from trains And even when it rains, Has to live outside in the cold An old city banker called Max, Was walking down Simmery Axe"

[Mike Oxsaw]

Blimey! I'm slower than a very slow thing. * Cedes the floor graciously. *

[Darlo Debs]

"Standing up in front of the beak ""You were arrested while taking a leak"" It made local.telly That your piss was so smelly Oh god it really did reek. The was a bloke called Keith Who met his match on Hampstead Heath"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young man from quite near Kentish Town Joined the circus, to work as a clown But, as it goes, He had no red nose That's neither as verb or as noun An old country singer, I'm told Had spent his life on the railroad"

[Helmut Shown]

"A tasty young scrubber from Welwyn Had so many blokes there’s no tellin’ A fan of strong liquors She'd oft' drop her knickers The sight most men found compellin' Standing up in front of the beak ""You were arrested while taking a leak"""

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a girl.from.Kerry Who was very flirty when.merry When she’d have a brandy It made her quite randy And let anyone come pop her cherry A tasty young scrubber from Welwyn Had so many blokes there’s no tellin’

[Darlo Debs]

"A young man from quite near Kentish Town Joined the circus, to work as a clown Smokey sang of his tears .and his sadness for years The bloke was permanently down There once was a girl.from.Kerry Who was very flirty when.merry"

[northbanker]

"There was a young man from Vancouver Did unspeakable things with his Hoover He forgot to use lube, His balls stuck in the tube, Extraction was a tricky manoeuvre. A young man from quite near Kentish Town Joined the circus, to work as a clown"

[Helmut Shown]

A Take Your Pick punter named Dean. Who chose to open Box Thirteen When he opened his eyes His coveted prize Was a pair of old pants turned green There was a young man from Vancouver Did unspeakable things with his Hoover

[arsene york-hunt]

"Mrs Brown's boys isn't liked on WHO It's content we like to boo, The reason for this, It's funny as cold piss, Like Friends and Miranda too. A Take Your Pick punter named Dean. Who chose to open Box Thirteen"

[Darlo Debs]

Sorry forgot to add next lines. Mrs Briwns boys isn't liked on WHO It's content we like to.boo

[Darlo Debs]

"Captain Kirk said to Mr. Spock, Let's start an account with tik-tok. Their colleague called Scotty pulled a right hotty Who videoed. him.in a frock"