New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a man from Clapham Junction Who suffered erectile disfunction And what perked him up? A trip to Sidcup Then back to that same Clapham Junction. You'd better take care what you say, 'cos you may well get cancelled today"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bloke whose job was to.joke Found his career had gone up.in smoke, He joked about trannies Bum boys and afghanis, He's been cancelled now by the woke. There was a man from Clapham Junction Who suffered erectile disfunction"

[Darlo Debs]

When a rapist is up in the dock Some say they should cut off his cock I think .its wrong To cut off his schlong I'd just lose the key to.his cell lock A bloke whose job was to.joke Found his career had gone up.in smoke

[Helmut Shown]

A young man put off from his bird. She stank out the bog with a turd The floating log Gave off a vile fog As he entered and said “Oh my word” When a rapist is up in the dock Some say they should cut off his cock

[arsene york-hunt]

"It is said that “comedian” Russell Brand Used women like most here use their hand, Things begin to unravel, The poor man's Jim Saville, I hope from West Ham he is banned. A young man put off from his bird. She stank out the bog with a turd"

[Helmut Shown]

"A supporter of Manchester City Had a sore on the tip of her titty When her baby she nursed The fucking thing burst And the poor kid was sick, what a pity! It is said that “comedian” Russell Brand Used women like most here use their hand"

[northbanker]

We're in the unenviable position Losing players through lack of ambition Our plans could be in shreds Lest we're bought by ragheads Keeping them should be our mission. A supporter of Manchester City Had a sore on the tip of her titty

[Helmut Shown]

"""Posh and Becks"" is a term, to be blunt. Used by non-gays is an affront I've not got the time For the want of a rhyme So you know where to stick your witch hunt We're in the unenviable position Losing players through lack of ambition"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Some fans used to sing “Posh and Becks You like to have anal sex” He'd been seen with a tube Of some KY lube, Bought in a chemist in Ess-ex. ""Posh and Becks"" is a term, to be blunt. Used by non-gays is an affront"

[Helmut Shown]

"Thomas the Tank, he once said, ""Now, children, don't wank in your bed"". So when feeling lusty Don’t make your sheets crusty Wank in the bathroom instead Some fans used to sing “Posh and Becks You like to have anal sex”"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Some people say there's an art, In dropping a really loud fart. For others the gift? Silent, in a lift, The moment before you depart. Thomas the Tank, he once said, ""Now, children, don't wank in your bed""."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A zoo filled with beasts from the jungle Let visitors have a good fondle Then a pair of fools, Played with lion's tools I think it was Zippy and Bungle. Some people say there's an art, In dropping a really loud fart"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A zoo filled with beasts from the jungle Let visitors have a good fondle Then a pair of fools, Played with lion's tools I think it was Zippy and Bungle. Some people say there's an art, In dropping a really loud fart"

[BRANDED]

"A Jewish man, an Ashkenazi, Had a prostitute in the khazi He shat in the bog as he Spunked in ber gob Saying, babe lets keep this classy A zoo filled with beasts from the jungle Let visitors have a good fondle"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A pair of sexual offenders Under suits wore women's suspenders These absolute turds Weren't trying to be birds, They were just a couple of benders. A Jewish man, an Ashkenazi, Had a prostitute in the khazi"

[Helmut Shown]

"If you want a player on fire It sure isn't Harry McGuire We all say ""Oh God! Don't buy this clod He's not got the skills we require"" A pair of sexual offenders Under suits wore women's suspenders"

[Helmut Shown]

"If you want a player on fire It sure isn't Harry McGuire We all say ""Oh God! Don't buy this clod He's not got the skills we require"" A pair of sexual offenders Under suits wore women's suspenders"

[Helmut Shown]

"If you want a player on fire It sure isn't Harry McGuire We all say ""Oh God! Don't buy this clod He's not got the skills we require"" A pair of sexual offenders Under suits wore women's suspenders"

[arsene york-hunt]

"""They"" claim that the weather's gone mad, And it's ALL down to us, which is sad. So said the shaman To another caveman When the Ice age began to get bad. If you want a player on fire It sure isn't Harry McGuire"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He wanted to keep himself calm So he set up a cannabis farm. A slippery slope, To cocaine from dope? Or skunk that just works like a charm? ""They"" claim that the weather's gone mad, And it's ALL down to us, which is sad."

[Helmut Shown]

"He found a girl wedged in a tree And joyo thought ""That'll do me!"" After the deed And he'd planted his seed She said ""I was trying to wee"" He wanted to keep himself calm So he set up a cannabis farm"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Hollywood star in frustration Said: ""Tell me my motivation"" ""You'll get it back when"" ""You understand Zen"". ""And cover my costs plus inflation"". He found a girl wedged in a tree And joyo thought ""That'll do me!"""

[Helmut Shown]

"An LGBTQS+ Scratched it's penis riding the bus The conductor said ""Oi, Don't rub your old boy"" No need to make such a fuss A Hollywood star in frustration Said: ""Tell me my motivation"""

[arsene york-hunt]

"Men are from Mars girls from Venus Said someone explaining the genus, Now we are taught Biology means naught, The trannies say this to demean us. An LGBTQS+ Scratched it's penis riding the bus"

[Helmut Shown]

A bloke in a naff sweater Tried to pull a girl who was much better He made his advances But in these circumstances She said no without a french letter Men are from Mars girls from Venus Said someone explaining the genus