New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"My shares in both Shell and BP Are bringing me money, for free. What makes me recoil Cunts from Just Top Oil, They want much less money for me. Next up we've got the fucking Bees. Let us not respect the point, please."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Global warming Trump would enthuse Was nothing but commie fake news. And, when it gets warm, We'll pour on the scorn And blame it, of course, on the Jews. My shares in both Shell and BP Are bringing me money, for free."

[Helmut Shown]

"My mate once told me his sister, When young every night he'd fist 'er But the older he grew too big for her flue She developed a fucking great blister Global warming Trump would enthuse Was nothing but commie fake news"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I would have bet a months pay We get the the bin dippers away, It doesn't make sense, Cant be coincidence, We're fucked every year, I would say. My mate once told me his sister, When young every night he'd fist 'er"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"oops There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless. She awoke in the morn With her knickers all torn And spunk all over her dress I would have bet a months pay We get the the bin dippers away"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless She aoke in the morn"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless She aoke in the morn"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless She aoke in the morn"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless She aoke in the morn"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The Arsenal fans looked so sad. Defeat they had taken quite bad. But, what was quite nice, Was the welcome for Rice. We still have respect for the lad. There once was a girl from Skegness, Who got herself really legless."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Sri Lanka On his penis he had a large chanchre, He'd caught syphilis, During coital bliss, With a scouse slut on the Costa Blanca. The Arsenal fans looked so sad. Defeat they had taken quite bad."

[Helmut Shown]

"A cute little minx from Belize, Was rumoured to be a prick-tease Don't touch! or go near! There's a problem I fear The little slut's riddled with fleas There was a young man from Sri Lanka On his penis he had a large chanchre"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Tonight we'll be playing the Arse, Should I go or give it a pass I don't give a fuck, We're bang out of luck, Just put that cսnt Moyes out to grass. A cute little minx from Belize, Was rumoured to be a prick-tease"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Can't we show Infantino the door? I mean Saudi Twenty Thirty-Four! It's all the same to me, As I'll watch on TV. It could be in Chad or Ecuador. Tonight we'll be playing the Arse, Should I go or give it a pass"

[Far East Hammer]

Will academy youth get a game? Each week the first team is the same. Whilst Moyes says he knows best For us fans it's a test Post-match excuses ever more lame Can't we show Infantino the door? I mean Saudi Twenty Thirty-Four!

[Far East Hammer]

Will academy youth get a game? Each week the first team is the same. Whilst Moyes says he knows best For us fans it's a test Post-match excuses ever more lame Can't we show Infantino the door? I mean Saudi Twenty Thirty-Four!

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man who was born with two cocks Kept them warm with a pair of socks His balls and their sac, Went in a back-pack Which then he put into a box. Will academy youth get a game? Each week the first team is the same."

[arsene york-hunt]

"In East London where the Hammers play West Ham's the team that brightens the day Except for when we lose Then it's effing and boos, As the ref signals the end of play. A man who was born with two cocks Kept them warm with a pair of socks"

[The Fonz]

I'm not one to kick up a fuss But next to me sat on the bus Was Hamas and Pickle I gave him a tickle And we laughed 'til our cheeks turned all flush In East London where the Hammers play West Ham's the team that brightens the day

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Our youth team have no forward view Moyes will not let them debut Destined for the stiffs, No buts and no ifs What's that at our exit, a queue? I'm not one to kick up a fuss But next to me sat on the bus"

[Helmut Shown]

"Tottenham at the table top, And West Ham in form for the drop With Moyes at the helm Results underwhelm He really isn't much cop Our youth team have no forward view Moyes will not let them debut"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whilst crossing a rickety bridge The lady was bit by a midge. The Talahatchie.. Bridge off which she... Fell, was over Choctaw Ridge. Tottenham at the table top, And West Ham in form for the drop"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A Thai prostitute best known as “Flower” Gave a squaddie a warm golden shower. For 10 extra Baht, She offered to fart For 20, she'd do so with power. Whilst crossing a rickety bridge The lady was bit by a midge."

[Helmut Shown]

A young prostitute called Devine A guest on the show What's My Line As she mimed her profession With an obscene expression And exposing her pubic hairline A Thai prostitute best known as “Flower” Gave a squaddie a warm golden shower

[arsene york-hunt]

"An octopus known as Doris, Went out with a squid we'll call Boris. But talked only of sex, That he'd had with his ex. Charlie a red slender loris. A young prostitute called Devine A guest on the show What's My Line"