New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a man from Turnpike Lane, Whose wife's demands drove him insane. Her big arse she'd place As she sat on his face Leaving a large shit stain A policeman I know named Rick For a sex aid used his riot stick"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man called Callum Had a flat in downtown Balham He often would pose, But he can't dye his clothes He just can't afford the alum. There was a man from Turnpike Lane, Whose wife's demands drove him insane."

[Helmut Shown]

"The wind, it blows in from the west, And it goes right through my string vest. This gusty surge Decreases sexual urge Just as I was having a wankfest There was a young man called Callum Had a flat in downtown Balham"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A T*ttenham fan called Solly. Stole a supermarket trolley It turned out Halal So in the canal It went - with all of his lolly. The wind, it blows in from the west, And it goes right through my string vest."

[arsene york-hunt]

"It is said that people from Tyneside Only eat food that's been fried, But scousers, As they sing Will eat just anything, Found in the dustbins outside. A T*ttenham fan called Solly. Stole a supermarket trolley"

[Helmut Shown]

"A lady from Stockton on Tees, Always farts out loud when she pees As she squats on the Shanks She often has wanks But still from her arse there's a breeze It is said that people from Tyneside Only eat food that's been fried"

[Helmut Shown]

"A lady from Stockton on Tees, Always farts out loud when she pees As she squats on the Shanks She often has wanks But still from her arse there's a breeze It is said that people from Tyneside Only eat food that's been fried"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Two lovely boys drinking Campari Spoke quietly using polari, They are mostly gay, At the cabaret, They were listening to Volare (Oh Oh Oh OH) A lady from Stockton on Tees, Always farts out loud when she pees"

[,]

"There was a young lady from Skye Gave a blow job, got spunk in her eye It happened the jism Affected her vision And gave her a painful mince pie. Two lovely boys drinking Campari Spoke quietly using polari"

[Helmut Shown]

"When Sheffield United go down. Will they sue Everton this time round Never say never Our lifeline don't sever It could be us in meltdown There was a young lady from Skye Gave a blow job, got spunk in her eye"

[arsene york-hunt]

When Sheffield United go down. Will they sue Everton this time round

[arsene york-hunt]

"An Australian man from Perth His cock wasn't long but had girth He went a bit too far, Took it out in a bar, Which led to piss taking and mirth."

[arsene york-hunt]

"We all have got pissed when we post. Some do it more often than most And next day you see, The piss-poor quality, Is nothing about which you'd boast. When Sheffield United go down. Will they sue Everton this time round"

[Helmut Shown]

We all have got pissed when we post. Some do it more often than most I post on the bog Whilst dropping a log Something I'd rather not boast An Australian man from Perth His cock wasn't long but had girth

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The girl had a peculiar clit I've never seen the like of it It span round and round, then slapped on the ground. With Christmas Tree lights it was lit. We all have got pissed when we post. Some do it more often than most"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Sorry pissed and fat fingers but I'm sure you can resurrect it...

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She'd do her shits In the bar of the Ritz All dressed in mink and sable The girl had a peculiar clit I've never seen the like of it

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She'd do her shits In the bar of the Ritz All dressed in mink and sable The girl had a peculiar clit I've never seen the like of it

[arsene york-hunt]

"A tart from the Isle of Dogs Had a face like a box of frogs. Her boy friend called Matt, Is blind as a bat, And weekends his arse'ole he flogs. In our street a prostitute Mabel, Would shit on a glass coffee table"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I'm out on the lash this weekend My social life back on the mend But to be brutally frank I'll be having a wank As I still haven't got a girlfriend A tart from the Isle of Dogs Had a face like a box of frogs

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I've paid tax since 1963, But can't be seen by my GP Bur what gets my goat, Is: arrive by small boat, And you get all such services free. I'm out on the lash this weekend My social life back on the mend."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A posh boy from Kensington Gore Spent a fortune for a night with a whore, In the morning he, Said ""Please marry me"". She said ""Fuck off"" and skipped out the door. I've paid tax since 1963, But can't be seen by my GP"

[Helmut Shown]

A lass from Stockton-onTees Had tits hanging down to her knees Going down on a bloke Would cause her to choke As a nose full of nipple caused a sneeze A posh boy from Kensington Gore Spent a fortune for a night with a whore

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A non-binary bloke called Rick. Was scratching a itch on her dick. Then he started to hunt To locate his cսnt The idea just makes me feel sick A lass from Stockton-onTees Had tits hanging down to her knees

[arsene york-hunt]

"Braverman, Coffey and Dorries Embittered old bags, sacked by Tories, In years going back, The PM would sack Blokes who hung round lavatories. A non-binary bloke called Rick. Was scratching a itch on her dick."