New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

As he lay there being fellated He farted and the smell was X-rated The rancid miasma Bought on her asthma The two being clearly related In the old days of Gardner and Cass We'd go near and far en masse

[Helmut Shown]

"Put on a wig and you become, A woman according to some Instead of a wrinkle Two balls and a winkle If you think it a woman you're dumb As he lay there being fellated He farted and the smell was X-rated"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Wil we put to the sword I Lupi Or play like we’re tired and droopy They're not worth a fart, We'll tear then apart. I've bet on this 5,000 rupee. Put on a wig and you become, A woman according to some"

[,]

I once met an old ballerina Who drove a grey Ford Cortina She danced on her toes Spoke through her nose And her skin had a strange patina Wil we put to the sword I Lupi Or play like we’re tired and droopy

[Mike Oxsaw]

"I went to a brothel in town, I asked her to take her drawers down. They came off in a flash, Revealing her gash, And an arsehole both crusty and brown. I once met an old ballerina Who drove a grey Ford Cortina"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I think there can be no doubt That many want to see Moyes kicked out, Though he's a dead loss, Some could not give a toss, And these arguments make them freak out. I went to a brothel in town, I asked her to take her drawers down."

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young man from Caerphilly, Who stole used knickers that were frilly. He'd often wipe The bright yellow stripe Across his face, just like piccalilli I think there can be no doubt That many want to see Moyes kicked out"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After the Fulham whitewash We’ve managed to defeat the Bosch, We eased off a bit, And they were quite shit First half they were under the cosh, There was a young man from Caerphilly, Who stole used knickers that were frilly."

[Helmut Shown]

"Said King Arthur to Galahad, I saw Lancelot bumming a lad. In the middle of the round table Was a spunk spattered cable And Lancelot standing unclad After the Fulham whitewash We’ve managed to defeat the Bosch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After he and his girl went swimming She asked if he'd give her a rimming. He thought what a wheeze And said ""yes, but please, The hair round you arse'ole needs trimming"" Said King Arthur to Galahad, I saw Lancelot bumming a lad."

[Helmut Shown]

"After drinking far too much rum, When shagging he just could not cum. In the back of his jalopy Her fanny was floppy But he got a result up her bum After he and his girl went swimming She asked if he'd give her a rimming"

[arsene york-hunt]

"An unfortunate chap found asylum on a barge Shouldn’t of been there said Nigel Farage But everyone knows, Seeing Monica Rose On Take Your Pick was a mirage. After drinking far too much rum, When shagging he just could not cum."

[eswing hammer]

Quiz inquisitor Michael Miles On Take Your Pick he was all smiles. Especially when Monica Rose After the show would be touching her toes And sometimes her face even touched the tiles An unfortunate chap found asylum on a barge Shouldn’t of been there said Nigel Farage

[arsene york-hunt]

"Some posters on here are absurd Determined to have the last word. I'd say let them have it They're just talking shit, Now I'm off to squeeze out a turd. Quiz inquisitor Michael Miles On Take Your Pick he was all smiles."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"He said ""too many migrants"" when pissed. He's now is known as the local racist. He voted Brexit, The xenophobe tit And now he has got what he wished Some posters on here are absurd Determined to have the last word."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young man's just left public school ""Politics for me"" said the tool. Now just let me see, Which party for me, I think that Kier Starmer is cool. He said ""too many migrants"" when pissed. He's now is known as the local racist."

[Helmut Shown]

"His girlfriends words left him quite numb, ""I like a big cock up me bum."" Over she bent Unlubed, up it went Whilst her clitoris she would strum A young man's just left public school ""Politics for me"" said the tool"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A TV contestant from Northolt, Got fingered by Bernie the Bolt. When he hit the target, She got really wet And said it was all Bernie's fault. His girlfriends words left him quite numb, ""I like a big cock up me bum."""

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A TV contestant from Northolt, Got fingered by Bernie the Bolt. When he hit the target, She got really wet And said it was all Bernie's fault. His girlfriends words left him quite numb, ""I like a big cock up me bum."""

[arsene york-hunt]

"As West Ham entered the abyss With Fulham players taking the piss, Shifting their lazy arses, With accurate passes, Possession for once would be bliss. A TV contestant from Northolt, Got fingered by Bernie the Bolt"

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady from Budapest, Entered a nude beauty contest Her twat was too bushy Covered arsehole and pussy On the top wore a very long vest As West Ham entered the abyss With Fulham players taking the piss"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The media need Israel to stop They're bored with the story - a lot. There's thousands dead, Both fourby and raghead. Some blown up and others were shot. A young lady from Budapest, Entered a nude beauty contest"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Oh what a dismal display As witnessed at Fulham today. A fail on the riverbank A game that completely stank ""Extend David's contract!!!"" we say... ...Not. The media need Israel to stop They're bored with the story - a lot."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Oh what a dismal display As witnessed at Fulham today We're never up for it For the teams we think shit, Alas, it was ever that way. A young lady from Budapest, Entered a nude beauty contest"

[Helmut Shown]

"My new powder washes very white, They say even white nylon stays bright But what remains Are embarrassing stains And my gusset still smells of shite Oh what a dismal display As witnessed at Fulham today"