New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"My stomach is feeling quite bad Blame it on the biryani I had But we had fried RICE, Was rather quite nice And left us well sated - I'm glad. Of points we have thirty and three And sixth in the table, you see..."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"My stomach is feeling quite bad Blame it on the biryani I had But we had fried RICE, Was rather quite nice And left us well sated - I'm glad. Of points we have thirty and three And sixth in the table, you see..."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

It is said ex PM Liz Truss Is a bit of a cսnt. Discuss It'll never cease to amaze She lasted 50 days Before being thrown under the bus My stomach is feeling quite bad Blame it on the biryani I had

[Helmut Shown]

So that pisshead Shane has died I for one haven't cried The Kent born tool Educated at public school An Irishman? My backside! It is said ex PM Liz Truss Is a bit of a cսnt. Discuss.

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"I don't like it, not one bit Still awaiting my first Christmas shit All that turkey and pud Has done me no good And my trousers no longer fit So that pisshead Shane has died I for one haven't cried"

[Helmut Shown]

"I started the day with a whizz - A brandy laced glass of Buck's Fizz Chew on beef jerky As you're fed up with turkey It's Christmas, it is what it is I don't like it, not one bit Still awaiting my first Christmas shit"

[Mike Oxsaw]

At Christmas the food that we eat Makes our farts smell far less sweet There can be no doubt That the boiled Brussel Sprout Can challenge the stinkiest feet. I started the day with a whizz - A brandy laced glass of Buck's Fizz

[Helmut Shown]

"Bowen, Kudus and Paquetta, Has our attack ever been better But our Greek centre half Runs like a giraffe Must have eaten far too much feta At Christmas the food that we eat Makes our farts smell far less sweet"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Soccer Saturday on Sky what a farce Expert opinion, my arse, I'm not a knocker But the title has ""soccer"", And for that I would give it a pass. Bowen, Kudus and Paquetta, Has our attack ever been better"

[Helmut Shown]

"With Putin's rigged election to come. The BBC have shown how it's done The psychopath raves As his infantry caves 99 percent approval? My bum Soccer Saturday on Sky what a farce Expert opinion, my arse"

[arsene york-hunt]

Our away support treated like shit Regrets it? No! Not a bit He don't give a fuck All down to bad luck. The arrogant fucking scotch git. With Putin's rigged election to come. The BBC have shown how it's done

[arsene york-hunt]

Our away support treated like shit Regrets it? No! Not a bit He don't give a fuck All down to bad luck. The arrogant fucking scotch git. With Putin's rigged election to come. The BBC have shown how it's done

[Helmut Shown]

"Before the kick off we had known, That the game was gonna be thrown These gutless displays? Time to part ways Sack him! So says Helmut Shown Our away support treated like shit Regrets it? No! Not a bit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"The Tories and their friends with wealth Will fuck over our National Health, But fuck all that noise We need rid of Moyes, Either openly or using stealth. Before the kick off we had known, That the game was gonna be thrown"

[Helmut Shown]

Getting back to football once more Tonight do you think we will score? With Moyes at the helm We often underwhelm No goals and letting in four The Tories and their friends with wealth Will fuck over our National Health

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

An old scrubber from near Berlin Dropped 'em for the price of a gin For a Rum and Black She'd tickle your sack And a beer you could come on her chin Getting back to football once more Tonight do you think we will score?

[arsene york-hunt]

"A singer who was once number one Would frolic with children, for fun. The kiddies he'd choose, Were first plied with booze, Then wanking him off was begun. An old scrubber from near Berlin Dropped 'em for the price of a gin"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It is said a famous brown hatter When farting was more of a splatter A pure follow-through, With hard lumps of poo And aftershocks for a good scatter. A singer who was once number one Would frolic with children, for fun."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"It is said a famous brown hatter When farting was more of a splatter A pure follow-through, With hard lumps of poo And aftershocks for a good scatter. A singer who was once number one Would frolic with children, for fun."

[Helmut Shown]

A drunk man who came from Purfleet Was emptying his bowels in the street But he lacked the style To leave a neat pile And he shit all over his feet It is said a famous brown hatter When farting was more of a splatter

[arsene york-hunt]

**FART

[arsene york-hunt]

Outside a large bank a dosser Called the bank manager a tosser He'd been told to depart But let off a big far So got kicked in the Iliac fossa. A drunk man who came from Purfleet Was emptying his bowels in the street

[arsene york-hunt]

Outside a large bank a dosser Called the bank manager a tosser He'd been told to depart But let off a big far So got kicked in the Iliac fossa. A drunk man who came from Purfleet Was emptying his bowels in the street

[Helmut Shown]

"Lady of Spain I adore you. Pull down your drawers, ill explore you I’ll be up the front If you pull off this stunt Otherwise I’ll ignore you Outside a large bank a dosser Called the bank manager a tosser"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In the old days of Gardner and Cass We'd go near and far en masse Now when all's said and done, It's just good family fun, And now no more punch ups, alas. Lady of Spain I adore you. Pull down your drawers, ill explore you"