New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

Mike Oxsaw 9:25 Fri Mar 22 - 8000

[arsene york-hunt]

"Whilst resting beneath an oak tree A girl came and sat next to me. Being rather silly, I took out my willy, ""What is that? an acorn?"" said she. Political threads on this site, Consist of blokes talking much shite"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was an old man called Freeman Wanking, found blood in his semen The DNA said: Alsatian: well bred He loved giving police dogs a reaming. Whilst resting beneath an oak tree A girl came and sat next to me."

[Helmut Shown]

"The vicar, who's parish was small Had a church with a steeple quite tall As he pulled the church bell It would be his death knell One hard tug caused the church bell to fall There was an old man called Freeman Wanking, found blood in his semen"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Evidence of her bad yeast infection Made it so hard to get an erection But, be of good cheer, She tasted of beer, But not, I'll admit, my selection. The vicar, who's parish was small Had a church with a steeple quite tall"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

She bent over and parted her cheeks And all I could see was brown streaks Her Jap flag was crusty Her sheriff's badge was rusty It's a sight that'll last me for weeks Evidence of her bad yeast infection Made it so hard to get an erection

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a bar in downtown Shanghai A young girl opened his fly But what then flew out Fair caused her to shout, 'cos it slapped her one right in the eye. She bent over and parted her cheeks And all I could see was brown streaks."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young young Essex girl for a lark, Ran stark naked through Upton Park As she reached Plashet Grove Some randy old cove Made a lewd and aggressive remark In a bar in downtown Shanghai A young girl opened his fly"

[arsene york-hunt]

"After drinking five pints and some liquors She took off and waved round her knickers Asked by boyfriend Pete if she'd had owt* to eat, She said ""Yes, half a bar of Snickers."" * he was a northerner. A young young Essex girl for a lark, Ran stark naked through Upton Park"

[Helmut Shown]

A granny from Walton-on-Naze Once went through a very strange phase. Armed with a lighter She pulled her drawers tighter And set her farts ablaze After drinking five pints and some liquors She took off and waved round her knickers

[Mike Oxsaw]

I say fuck off to the BBC. I will not pay the license fee They don't have a clue About impartial view And play to the woke society A granny from Walton-on-Naze Once went through a very strange phase.

[arsene york-hunt]

"I don’t think I've ever been sicker After a dodgy pie, mash and liquor Liquified shit Projectile vomit, And a sharp pain in me old ticker. I say fuck off to the BBC. I will not pay the license fee"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"His girlfriend he wanted to please, So he washed away all his knob cheese Though it tasted of Brie The problem you see Was that it carried a nasty disease I don’t think I've ever been sicker After a dodgy pie, mash and liquor"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Why when the weather gets chilly Does it cause shrinkage of the willy To stay well engorged To the south you must forge But stay in the dales, nowhere hilly. His girlfriend he wanted to please, So he washed away all his knob cheese."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A gentleman as you'd expect, Should treat his bitch with respect But if she gives you crap Then the occasional slap Or you'll surely end up henpecked Why when the weather gets chilly Does it cause shrinkage of the willy"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A gentleman as you'd expect, Should treat his bitch with respect But if she gives you crap Then the occasional slap Or you'll surely end up henpecked Why when the weather gets chilly Does it cause shrinkage of the willy"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So. Putin, a stonking great win, All fixed, a democracy sin. All real opposition, Were in no position, Dead, exiled or bird they're doin' A gentleman as you'd expect, Should treat his bitch with respect"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A dirty old pervert was found Making love to his Bassett Hound He was dragged through the courts For crimes of all sorts With gerbils involved, I'll be bound. So. Putin, a stonking great win, All fixed, a democracy sin."

[Helmut Shown]

"A stunning young lady called Lorna, Gave topless reliefs at a sauna But she got up the duff And now hawks her muff On the south side of Hyde Park Corner A dirty old pervert was found Making love to his Bassett Hound"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I've barely got room in my smalls For a cock and my oversize balls My solution old chap, Would be buy a jock strap, Which stops unwanted bollock falls. A stunning young lady called Lorna, Gave topless reliefs at a sauna,"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"There was young man from Luxor, Saved for weeks to pay for a whore He just had enough For a fuck in the muff But for anal it'll cost a lot more I've barely got room in my smalls For a cock and my oversize balls"

[northbanker]

"He got himself in a stew He’d farted and then followed through He proceeded to cuss, His failing anus, His pants filled with foul smelling poo. There was young man from Luxor, Saved for weeks to pay for a whore."

[Helmut Shown]

As a result of a corpulent gut He could only see just the one nut Once heavily meated His penis retreated He now needs Viagra to rut He got himself in a stew He’d farted and then followed through

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A golfer from Tossa del Mar, Holed out at one under par He didn't use his stick, He hit the ball with his dick Thus it didn't go very far As a result of a corpulent gut He could only see just the one nut"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Torquay Liked a shower of young women's pee, And then after a bit, Smeared himself with her shit, Quite a pervert if you ask me. A golfer from Tossa del Mar, Holed out at one under par"