New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A new hairstyle with a fringe, Was how she adorned her minge But a number 2 Was something quite new And hided* the fact she was ginge. She stripped off her clothes and stood there, And the passengers tried not to stare. * - sorry!"

[arsene york-hunt]

"While holding her bum cheeks apart. The girl did a very loud fart, Between me and you Not the thing you do, While attending the d'Oyly Carte. A new hairstyle with a fringe, Was how she adorned her minge"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Its 4.30 and I'm watching my team Is it real or just a bad dream? They huff and they toil, Yet they're still off the boil, And clearly have run out of steam. While holding her bum cheeks apart. The girl did a very loud fart"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Its 4.30 and I'm watching my team Is it real or just a bad dream? Win lose or draw, We are always a bore Moyes sacking's our wish it would seem. A new hairstyle with a fringe, Was how she adorned her minge."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A flash little twat called Robbie Spurs supporter, very gobby His trips to the Lane Often ended in pain A perpetually trophy-less hobby Its 4.30 and I'm watching my team Is it real or just a bad dream?"

[Helmut Shown]

"A French bird who lived down my street Had a bush that went down to her feet But through the great thatch Parts of her snatch Poked out giving suitors a treat A flash little twat called Robbie Spurs supporter, very gobby"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a young Frenchman from Rheims, Abducted by aliens it seems He was kept alive By his will to survive And a packet of Peake's custard creams A flash little twat called Robbie Spurs supporter and very gobby"

[BRANDED]

I made it to the loo in a hurry Which I'll blame on the dodgy prawn curry I tried to curl one but ended up hurling due to the stench of the slurry A French bird who lived down my street Had a bush that went down to her feet

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Liverpool fans, two types, both scumbags, The real scouse cunts, and plastic slags If you go there perhaps They'll nick your hub caps This right bunch of northern scallywags I made it to the loo in a hurry Which I'll blame on the dodgy prawn curry"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Yank country singer, Travis Tritt Is known to drone on quite a bit, I'd to google him, He looks a right quim, And no doubt his music is shit. Liverpool fans, two types, both scumbags, The real scouse cunts, and plastic slags"

[arsene york-hunt]

"That Yank country singer, Travis Tritt Is known to drone on quite a bit, I'd to google him, He looks a right quim, And no doubt his music is shit. Liverpool fans, two types, both scumbags, The real scouse cunts, and plastic slags"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young Frenchman from Rheims, Abducted by aliens it seems. They prodded and probed, Then left him on the road Just thinking it one of ""those"" dreams. That Yank country singer, Travis Tritt Is known to drone on quite a bit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Two trannies one cup and a fool Contested the meaning of tool, ""Of course now modern chicks, Can now have big hairy pricks, It's Nicola Sturgeon's new rule."" There was a young Frenchman from Rheims, Abducted by aliens it seems."

[BRANDED]

At a party I met an old slapper And gave her one over the crapper a big floating turd was promptly preferred to my offer of an anal malacka Two trannies one cup and a fool Contested the meaning of tool

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"How, why it happened is abstruse Those fucking mad horses let loose The reason was that Some bestial twat Put his dick up their equine caboose At a party I met an old slapper And gave her one over the crapper"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I like a good wine with a meal, But my partner just barks...like a seal. With drink I am iffy, And can't get a stiffy It just flops around like an eel. How, why it happened is abstruse Those fucking mad horses let loose,"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In a packed lift, a young bloke called Bart. Did a loud and smelly horse 'n' cart. Before the next floor, He did several more Which caused people's eyeballs to smart. I like a good wine with a meal, But my partner just barks...like a seal."

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Crewe Had the shits through drinking home brew, The uncontrolled faeces Fluid and small pieces, Soiled his pants, vest and shirt tail too. In a packed lift, a young bloke called Bart. Did a loud and smelly horse 'n' cart."

[Helmut Shown]

"A young lady was feeling quite brash, Through the window she exposed her gash. She inserted her thumb It was dripping with cum Typical scouser white trash There was a young man from Crewe Had the shits through drinking home brew"

[arsene york-hunt]

"He walked in with only one sock The other was hard as a rock, Used it to wipe his bum, And when wanking, his cum, In a low class hotel in bangkok. A young lady was feeling quite brash, Through the window she exposed her gash."

[Helmut Shown]

In porn is there no other place To cum but right in her face She may give a frown If your mates hold her down She’ll think that you’re lacking in grace He walked in with only one sock The other was hard as a rock

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"A flight attendant on Emirates, Dropped her drawers on a flight to the States I was met with a snub To join the Mile High Club Much to the fun of my mates In porn is there no other place To cum but right in her face"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Chinese man fron Hong Kong Wished that his penis was long, The size of his dick, Made him feel quite sick His friends all called him Mousey Dong. A flight attendant on Emirates, Dropped her drawers on a flight to the States"

[Helmut Shown]

"Last night I went on a binge, Woke up next to a bit of minge But the stink from the split Smelled badly of shit Enough to make a poor boy cringe A Chinese man fron Hong Kong Wished that his penis was long"

[arsene york-hunt]

"You're 40 and can't be a dad? You're a jaffa, that's nature. Too bad. Your branch of the tree, No further will be, Despite all the crumpet you've had. Last night I went on a binge, Woke up next to a bit of minge"