New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Alwaysaniron]

"Now we can't tell the kids about sex And some of our posters (well, one, actually) that will vex So go get the kids toys dolls for girls, Dinosaurs for the boys then let Babie get fucked by T-Rex Sullivan walks into a charity shop As he can't sell his clothes on Depop"

[Alwaysaniron]

"Now we can't tell the kids about sex And some of our posters (well, one, actually) that will vex So go get the kids toys dolls for girls, Dinosaurs for the boys then let Babie get fucked by T-Rex Sullivan walks into a charity shop As he can't sell his clothes on Depop"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A strange bloke I knew called Paul Fell in love with his 60s Vauxhall. Balls deep up it's pipe, Then his knob he would wipe, On the windscreen...and sadly that's all. Now we can't tell the kids about sex And some of our posters (well, one, actually) that will vex"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A transvestite geezer called Mick In the ladies washing his dick. The size of his schlong He pulled from his thong Was the size of a fucking breadstick A strange bloke I knew called Paul Fell in love with his 60s Vauxhall

[arsene york-hunt]

"Are we facing a footballing dawn? Or will Lopetegui face more scorn? Will we reach a great height, Or the usual old shite, And after bad form will be gorn. A transvestite geezer called Mick In the ladies washing his dick."

[Helmut Shown]

So Arsenal's fates in our hands which is nice They're asking for payback for them buying Rice 'afore Moyes mounts his bike They can wish all they like we'll be 3-0 down in a trice Are we facing a footballing dawn? Or will Lopetegui face more scorn?

[Alwaysaniron]

"The punters you get at the Lane, Their chants and songs are so inane. But they've reached a new low With their latest poor show Doing the Poznan is fucking insane So Arsenals fates in our hands which is nice They're asking for payback for them buying Rice"

[Alwaysaniron]

"The punters you get at the Lane, Their chants and songs are so inane. But they've reached a new low With their latest poor show Doing the Poznan is fucking insane So Arsenals fate is our hands which is nice They asking for payback for them buying Rice"

[Alwaysaniron]

The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront We rarely create When we do it's too late Attack from the start you dinosaur cսnt! Now it's Moyes's last game which is nice And by winning we'd surely please Rice

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now, Jimmy, from just down the lane, Was a right little scrote - total pain. This fuck-witted fool, Likes exposing his tool, Now's sectioned 'cause he is insane. The punters you get at the Lane, Their chants and songs are so inane."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"This well-endowed bird from Bude Liked to go out in the nude. Her minge hair got caught In some shopping she'd bought Which somewhat did darken her mood. Now, Jimmy, from just down the lane, Was a right little scrote - total pain."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A smart city banker called Kit Fell over after slipping on shit It came from a beagle Which caused the spreadeagle and made him look a right tit This well-endowed bird from Bude Liked to go out in the nude

[Helmut Shown]

I once met a really weird bloke Who thought comedy should be woke. David Badiel? Him of the front wheel? His comedy just ain't worth a poke A smart city banker called Kit Fell over after slipping on shit

[arsene york-hunt]

"When this mortal coil you depart It s said that the dead still can fart Done at one's leisure, Your one final pleasure, Then off to hell in a handcart. I once met a really weird bloke Who thought comedy should be woke."

[Helmut Shown]

There was a man from Winnipeg Whose knob hung halfway down his leg It was tied with a strap Just above his kneecap Very sore when you kneel down and beg When this mortal coil you depart It s said that the dead still can fart

[arsene york-hunt]

"Her regular trips to the gym Did result in a most sweaty quim She scrubbed the thing well, To get rid of the smell, Using Fairy Liquid and Vim. There was a man from Winnipeg Whose knob hung halfway down his leg"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

There once was a young man called Max. Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax. He wasn’t discrete About this monthly treat Or his other despicable acts Her regular trips to the gym Did result in a most sweaty quim

[arsene york-hunt]

"I’ve just put a bird up the duff Strange as I only fingered her chuff, A paternity test, DNA off my vest, Will make my denials quite tough. There once was a young man called Max. Liked sniffing his bird's used Tampax."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

I went out once on a blind date Fuck me! The tart was a state But I fell for the joke Cos the tart was a bloke Called Charlie rather than Kate I’ve just put a bird up the duff Strange as I only fingered her chuff

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A man I once knew called Jack Had hair all over his back. But, up on his head, Not one single shred, No chance he could pass as a yak. I went out once on a blind date Fuck me! The tart was a state."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Our ski instructor named Liszt, Said I'm off out on the piste But he hid in the trees Took off both his ski And quietly had one off the wrist A man I once knew called Jack Had hair all over his back"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak Knows deep down that they’ll choke, He behaves like they've won, But when all's said and done, He really is a strange bloke. Our ski instructor named Liszt, Said I'm off out on the piste."

[arsene york-hunt]

"A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak Knows deep down that they’ll choke, He behaves like they've won, But when all's said and done, He really is a strange bloke. Our ski instructor named Liszt, Said I'm off out on the piste."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"Some of these rhymes are quite rude, And some are just fucking crude. many are not But I’ll just tell you what I much prefer the ones that are lewd A Gooner from nearby Burnt Oak Knows deep down that they’ll choke"

[arsene york-hunt]

"She knelt down then got on all fours Said ""Help yourself to my back doors."" To myself I linked 'er, Via her anal sphincter, Well you know, it's one of life's chores. Some of these rhymes are quite rude, And some are just fucking crude."