New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[arsene york-hunt]

"Why is it that Japanese porn Just fails to give me the horn? My first thought, I'd say, You might be turning gay, Not much cause to be so forlorn. There was a young girl called Patience, Could play tunes with her flatulence"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There once was a boring old queen, Who sat at home eating dasheen. His ""girl""-friend, Karen, Was a right fucking hen And out-of-the-box plain obscene. Why is it that Japanese porn Just fails to give me the horn?"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There‚Äôs one irritating poster, Nutsin Who really gets under my skin These stalking chaps I wish them vile mishaps, Like some big cսnt filling them in. There once was a boring old queen, Who sat at home eating dasheen"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"As a rest from all things obscene, I'm doing a rhyme that is clean A good try York-hunt But just to be blunt You must be a boring old queen* *Totally unnecessary insult purely for metrical reasons There’s one irritating poster, Nutsin Who really gets under my skin"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A girl I once knew called Peg Liked licking a cock for its smeg, She had a hunched back, And yeast round her crack, Did I mention her wooden leg? As a rest from all things obscene, I'm doing a rhyme that is clean"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A girl I once knew called Peg Liked licking a cock for its smeg, She had a hunched back, And yeast round her crack, Did I mention her wooden leg? As a rest from all things obscene, I'm doing a rhyme that is clean"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A Geisha girl down in Kyoto Did on the web post a good photo Uncharacteristically rude She was shown in the nude Without her makeup or kimono A girl I once knew called Peg Liked licking a cock for its smeg

[Mike Oxsaw]

"When she went out always on Mondays She went out without any undies. On her seat in the bar, She left a slug scar Attractive to those owning Hyundais. A Geisha girl down in Kyoto Did on the web post a good photo."

[Helmut Shown]

"The points total from the jury, Says Usyk had won, not Fury Returning to the lives Of sharpening knives Or laying tarmac in Newry When she went out always on Mondays She went out without any undies"

[arsene york-hunt]

"In Devon they've all got the shits Their water supply is in bits. Cryptosporidium, Causing, from their bum, An enourmous shithouse bowl blitz. The points total from the jury, Says Usyk had won, not Fury"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Stalkers on the thread when they're bored, I still say that they're best ignored. Nah! Just have a look, He's stuck on my hook Just like that cripple he whored. In Devon they've all got the shits Their water supply is in bits."

[arsene york-hunt]

"It's time that I booked my next flight, Boeing will sure see me right. In a 737 MAX I could sit and relax. I don't believe these planes are shite. Stalkers on the thread when they're bored, I still say that they're best ignored"

[joyo]

I live in a mud hut And l've got a big fat butt

[joyo]

"It's time that I booked my next flight, Boeing will sure see me right. Just to get away from Oxbore As hes rotten to the core And a real ugly sight"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"lts (sic) terrible to live in Belvedere Unless of course you're queer joyo's head, rent free Is THE place to be It's empty from left to right ear. It's time that I booked my next flight, Boeing will sure see me right."

[joyo]

"A young girl was shagging her brother He said ""You are just like our mother Who married Oxbore for a few quid Because hes an old flid Incese will get them all in bother lts terrible to live in Belvedere Unless of course you're queer"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Now my waistline\u2019s getting thick It\u2019s much harder to notice my dick. I feel rather silly, Not seeing my willy. Can't tell if it's shooting too quick. A young girl was shagging her brother He said ""You are just like our mother"""

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"in a camp for the naturist, A regular punter got pissed But tragedy struck, He was hit by a truck The cսnt was certainly not missed Now my waistline‚Äôs getting thick It‚Äôs much harder to notice my dick"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Two Geordie girls took off their tops They had nipples like organ stops To the local lido, For a tan they did go. Until led away by the cops. in a camp for the naturist, A regular punter got pissed"

[Helmut Shown]

"School lunch time we went and bought fags, And talked of poofs, johnies, jam rags Gaining sexual proficiency Reading Health & Efficiency Before there were top shelf mags Two Geordie girls took off their tops They had nipples like organ stops"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A bird from Essex had piss-flaps That snaped on a cock like bear traps, Not washing and such, Caused an unmoist crutch, So now they are covered with chaps. School lunch time we went and bought fags, And talked of poofs, johnies, jam rags"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"The was a bloke from Montreal, Who sat around doing fuck all The bored stiff Canuck Just didnt give a fuck So he just sat and stared at the wall A bird from Essex had piss-flaps That snaped on a cock like bear traps"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On a beach he decided to sit But was hit by some seagull shit The bloke next to him, His old Uncle Jim, Was hit by some poop from a tit. The was a bloke from Montreal, Who sat around doing fuck all."

[Helmut Shown]

Our usual transfer window is grim Perhaps it’ll be better with Tim Sully will cheer With Brady in his ear Just shows the power of the quim On a beach he decided to sit But was hit by some seagull shit

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Sullivan walks into a charity shop As he can't sell his clothes on Depop They said his Russian hat Looked like a dead cat The whole exercise was a flop Our usual transfer window is grim Perhaps it’ll be better with Tim