New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Bedecked in sequins and diamantes Common as muck , no panties On the bench in the park She left a skid mark Whilst whistling several sea shanties. Can someone to me kindly tell Why the end of my knob is a bell?"

[Helmut Shown]

"An Islamist got no virgins when dead, But was sent to burn in hell instead Consumed by the flame ""The Imam's to blame"" Some people are easily led Bedecked in sequins and diamantes Common as muck , no panties"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Caracas Irritating player of maracas, He was driving me mad, I behaved very bad, By kicking him full in the knackers. The pope, getting on in his years Has said that he doesn't like queers He does not, as it goes, Think badly of paedos, As many of them are his peers. A Islamist got no virgins when dead, But was sent to burn in hell instead"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Caracas Irritating player of maracas, He was driving me mad, I behaved very bad, By kicking him full in the knackers. The pope, getting on in his years Has said that he doesn't like queers He does not, as it goes, Think badly of paedos, As many of them are his peers. A Islamist got no virgins when dead, But was sent to burn in hell instead"

[arsene york-hunt]

"There was a young man from Caracas Irritating player of maracas, He was driving me mad, I behaved very bad, By kicking him full in the knackers. The pope, getting on in his years Has said that he doesn't like queers He does not, as it goes, Think badly of paedos, As many of them are his peers. A Islamist got no virgins when dead, But was sent stright off to hell instead"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A bloke I once knew called Cliffy, Suffered from a permanent stiffy No more the blue pill And, his challenging ill Was gone in the blink of a jiffy The pope, getting on in his years Has said that he doesn't like queers"

[Helmut Shown]

"A bloke I once knew called Cliffy, Suffered from a permanent stiffy His extreme priapism A lifestyle cataclysm He threw himself into the Liffeyh There was a young man from Caracas Irritating player of maracas"

[arsene york-hunt]

"I'm missing a real, good night's sleep, And fed up with counting those sheep. Stop enumerating, Start Masturbating While thinking of little Bo Peep. A bloke I once knew called Cliffy, Suffered from a permanent stiffy"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A newspaper was part of the kit In the old days when you went for a shit The favourite, for me, Was page number three, But after I'd read it a bit. I'm missing a real, good night's sleep, And fed up with counting those sheep."

[Helmut Shown]

"My local bank cashier called Herman, Beneath the counter had a Sherman “Who’d think that a banker Would be such a wanker?” Said the vicar in his Sunday sermon A newspaper was part of the kit In the old days when you went for a shit"

[arsene york-hunt]

"My wife really dislikes my porn But I say that it gives me the horn. The more that I see, She just looks at me, With an air of disgust and scorn. My local bank cashier called Herman, Beneath the counter had a Sherman"

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young girl from Dusseldorf Decided that she'd shag a dwarf Little and often Should not be forgotten When Percy goes out and sets forth. My wife really dislikes my porn But I say that it gives me the horn.

[Helmut Shown]

** that

[Helmut Shown]

** that

[Helmut Shown]

"A young man that I know called Martin, Had problems controlling his farting When in a crowd His voice would grow loud When he felt his anal cheeks parting A young girl from Dusseldorf Decided tgat she'd shag a dwarf"

[arsene york-hunt]

"A young wife from the county of Kent Who suspected her husband was bent, He couldn't sit down On inspection she found That his rectal sphincter was rent. A young man that I know called Martin, Had problems controlling his farting"

[Helmut Shown]

"Oops, thats what happens when you eat your dinner mid Limerick I like a mixture of tipples. I also like sucking birds' nipples But its much more fun When away they can't run Especially when screwing cripples A young wife from the county of Kent Who suspected her husband was bent"

[Helmut Shown]

So ManU have won it once more Those cunts I truly abhor On so many fronts They're entitled cunts Their sportsmanship ridiculously poor A young wife from the county of Kent Who suspected her husband was bent

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In his cell he tried hard resisting, But his cell mate gave him a fisting. At first he was keen, But with no Vaseline, His mate rammed his hand and his wrist in. I like a mixture of tipples. I also like sucking birds' nipples"

[arsene york-hunt]

"So ManU have won it once more Those cunts I truly abhor, Manure fans, all shits, They're entitled gits, Especially those from Bangor. In his cell he tried hard resisting, But his cell mate gave him a fisting"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

"While eating some pie and mash and liquor, I felt a pain in my old ticker But if I'd had an eel As part of the meal I definitely be so much sicker So ManU have won it once more Those cunts I truly abhor"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Should we call him Loppy or J-Lo Does Anyone here really know, But let's be blunt, Most will call him a cսnt If sliding down the table we go. While eating some pie and mash and liquor, I felt a pain in my old ticker"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A Moroccan waitress picks up tips Only using her labial lips The clear smell of clam On the sticky dirham And a slight whiff of fish and chips Should we call him Loppy or J-Lo Does Anyone here really know

[arsene york-hunt]

"On talksport that Martin Keown Is the ugliest man I have known, Also Haaland (Erlin'). Is as ugly as sin He looks just like a dolphin clone. A Moroccan waitress picks up tips Only using her labial lips"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

Shoplifting a citywide trait If in Liverpool you collocate The thieving Souse chaps Will nick your hubcaps And likely your new licence plate On talkssport that Martin Keown Is the ugliest man I have known