New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Mike Oxsaw]

We thought we would play with expression
eight games in back to depression
It's still early days
For the new manager's ways
To sink in and make an impression.

I'm certain that everyone knows
Why Starmer receives some free clothes.

[Helmut Shown]

Rayner, Cooper, Reeves and Lammy
The BEST of the Labour Party???
Tory corruption and graft
They return and you’re pulling your shaft?
you and them, hands that are clammy

We thought we would play with expression
eight games in back to depression
 

[F 129 Row66]

So. Schofield is on a return?
Don't those in the media learn?
Despite all the alerts
They still employ perverts,
They've plenty of our dosh to burn.

Rayner, Cooper, Reeves and Lammy
The BEST of the Labour Party???

[Mike Oxsaw]

Despite our team playing badly
We were fucked by that cսnt Madley,
But Cariabao's Thai,
And that is just why,
The go for the big 5 quite gladly.

So. Schofield is on a return?
Don't those in the media learn?

[Helmut Shown]

Clothing bribes for Raynor sound great.
So why does she look such a state
Forty billion gone offshore
Thanks to that Truss whore
Yet a badly dressed bint you berate

Despite our team playing badly
We were fucked by that cսnt Madley

[F 129 Row66]

Sorry:

The artist once known as Puff Daddy,
Perhaps was a bit of a baddie.
A performer of rap.
Undeniably crap,
I've heard he abducted poor Maddie

Clothing bribes for Raynor sound great.
So why does she look such a state

[F 129 Row66]

The artist once known as Puff Daddy,
Perhaps was a bit of a baddie.
A performer of rap.
Undeniably crap,
I've heard that he abducted poor Maddie

Clothing bribes for Raynor sound great.
So why does she look such a state

[Mike Oxsaw]

Two hundred women complain
About that Al-Fayed wankstain
He'd "culture enhance",
When given the chance,
Corruption by power, in the main.

The artist once known as Puff Daddy,
Perhaps was a bit of a baddie.

[Helmut Shown]

Well just like the Tories, I fear. 
They're  calling him Free Gear Sir Kier
If their snout's in the trough
they can all fuck off
But if you're rich you are all in the clear

Two hundred women complain
About that Al-Fayed wankstain
 

[F 129 Row66]

As he wanked himself off in Riga
He covered his hands with Swarfega,
It did him no harm
And worked like a charm
And for further Shermans he's eager.

Well just like the Tories, I fear. 
They're  calling him Free Gear Sir Kier

[Helmut Shown]

Illegals getting lots of stuff.
While ex- soldiers are living rough
Bring back slavery
get the roads fixed for free
Perhaps the boats to rebuff

As he wanked himself off in Riga
He covered his hands with Swarfega

[F 129 Row66]

So Fayed. A pervert? No way!
I had him marked down as a gay,
Course he was a poof,
You want to see proof
The statue of paedo MJ.

Illegals getting lots of stuff.
While ex- soldiers are living rough

[Mike Oxsaw]

Our London Mayor thinks he is cool.
He claims he supports Liverpool.
I can't believe that.
Is it a statement of fact?
If so he's an oaf and a fool.

So Fayed. A pervert? No way!
I had him marked down as a gay.

[F 129 Row66]

So Kier sees the Ars'nal for free.
Does he sit in tier one or tier three?
Two Tier's got some front,
He's an absolute cսnt,
That's all you'll be getting from me.

Our London Mayor thinks he is cool.
He claims he supports Liverpool.

[Mike Oxsaw]

A young girl from Azerbaijan
Went on a short trip to Iran.
Amongst all her stuff
She packed a spare muff -
You have to get work when you can.

So Kier sees the Ars'nal for free.
Does he sit in tier one or tier three?

[F 129 Row66]

As he went down on a girl on all fours
He noticed a skid in her drawers,
In less than a jiffy,
He had lost his stiffy
Made an excuse, and left through the doors.

A young girl from Azerbaijan
Went on a short trip to Iran.

[Helmut Shown]

The thunder & lightning is here,
Where once we had skies oh so clear.
Gardeners have been missing
But it'll soon be pissing
And the weather will turn quite severe

As he went down on a girl on all fours
He noticed a skid in her drawers

 

[Mike Oxsaw]

When he reached the top of the mountain,
He started a new sherbet fountain.
But the liquorice straw,
Was really quite poor,
A shame, for on that he was counting.

The thunder & lightning is here,
Where once we had skies oh so clear.

[F 129 Row66]

 A choice to be made - and it's major.
Do I use walkie-talkie? or pager?
A choice you must make
If you make a mistake,
Your arse will be blown up I'll wager.

When he reached the top of the mountain,
He started a new sherbert fountain.



 

[Mike Oxsaw]

Some say Donald Trump is deluded
More than most (Spurs included)
Folk right get the hump
As he's only "for" Trump
That is what the smart ones concluded

A choice to be made - and it's major.
Do I use walkie-talkie or pager?

[Helmut Shown]

First was given an aperitif
When he went for his full strip relief.
What a strange place!
she sat on his face
And pissed all over his teeth

Some say Donald Trump is deluded
More than most (Spurs included)

[F 129 Row66]

A Geordie lad from Gateshead
would wank in his father's shed,
He used loads of tissue,
To wipe off his issue,
After The Dave's mags he'd read.

First was given an aperitif
When he went for his full strip relief.

 

[Helmut Shown]

Told Pickle was often in France
In Avignon, by any chance?
was he sur la pont?
With Norman Lamont?
And did they do the clog dance?

A Geordie lad from Gateshead
would wank in his father's shed

 

[Mike Oxsaw]

Next up we're playing the rent boys,
Beating them, it's one of life's joys
It's "How do you do?"
From the Claret & Blue...
...Now fuck off you sad diddycoys.

Told Pickle was often in France
In Avignon, by any chance?

[F 129 Row66]

In Poland, flood water's quite deep,
As up to the Bench it does creep.
Where the jam rolls sit,
And talk loads of shit,
'Til the meths runs out and they sleep.

Next up we're playing the rent boys,
Beating them, it's one of life's joys